Originally Posted by CWMI
What are your hobbies and interests, and how much time do you spend on them?

You name it! I like biking, swimming, skiing, sailing, kayaking, windsurfing, skating. I'm teaching myself to play guitar. I like to go for a walk for exercise. I'm not fanatical or ultra competitive about any of them, I just enjoy them. How much time do I spend doing these things? My first priority is my family, so I spend time with my kids and my wife before I focus on these things. I do these things when my wife wants space, when the kids are otherwise occupied, or when I need a break. I probably do road biking the most at this point, and typically ride about 4 hours per week. I would love for W to join me in any of this. She claims to have no recreational interests, so it's hard to do something she enjoys because she doesn't claim to enjoy anything physical.

Originally Posted by Markos
This is a sign that she is in the state of Withdrawal. You make the biggest Love Bank deposits by spending time together (whether your love language is quality time or not) meeting the four intimate emotional needs: intimate conversation, affection, recreational companionship, and sexual fulfillment.

I can't meet 3 of those needs because she claims not to have them and isn't interested in engaging.

Originally Posted by bitbucket
Do they still work together? Her reluctance to spend any time with you - sexual or otherwise - indicates that they may still be in contact.

They do not, they have been at separate companies for over a year. He declared "no contact" to save his own marriage and I'm certain he has stuck to that. I know people say that all the time and then have an unpleasant discovery, but I'm not new to this anymore, and I would know if something were going on -- it's not.

I'm going to call and sign up for the telephone coaching.

WRT intimate conversation, I believe I am very good at that, but it's very one-sided. W basically likes to talk about her work and the kids and that's it.