Originally Posted by Accuray
Hi Markos,

I went into some detail on that on page 3 of this thread. No she does not see the other man, he enacted "Plan A" and has stuck to it to save his own marriage.


Thanks, Accuray, I'm sorry I missed that as I tried to catch up. I did see where you said the OM was in Plan A, but I thought that you meant he was applying it in his pursuit of your wife!

They do not work together, do they? Any contact between them, no matter what they do to make it "appropriate," will hinder recovery. Any mementos she kept of him, anything that triggers her to remember him, will be a hindrance.

You want your efforts to be effective, so it's important to exhaustively weed those out.

And the circumstances that led to her affair have to be completely eliminated. She has to build extraordinary precaution walls such that you will know she is never having an affair again (more than just you being a wonderful spouse: she needs to follow good marital rules like not having friends of the opposite sex, not discussing personal things with men, providing complete transparency to you, etc.)

If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.