Originally Posted by CWMI
I wonder why plan a-ing a woman works better? Because men naturally have more stick? Because we love attention? Because we like sticks? smile


A man typically has more capacity to meet emotional needs without his needs being met in return, or so says Dr. Harley. A woman is more likely to feel TERRIBLE about meeting her husband's needs for sexual fulfillment, recreational companionship, etc., if she is not already in love. But a man is less likely to feel terrible about meeting her needs for intimate conversation and affection in that state. He may still feel awkward or reluctant, his emotions may still encourage him not to do it, and/or to be selfish, but it's not as likely to be devastating to him if he does it.

When women go on like this for a long time it begins to take a real physical toll: degradation of mental and emotional state, and health. It can result in a compromised immune system and post traumatic stress disorder, particularly in the face of severe abuse and/or an affair.

Now exactly how long any given person can go on like this varies. It's just that, on average, men can go on like this longer than women before they start to face ill effects. And Dr. Harley has also encouraged some men to go on even if they do start to have ill effects, if it is likely to save their marriage eventually or help their children.

If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.