I confronted OM with his wife present.

I was a master snooper for several months, plus my contributions to meeting her needs and her behavior. I am 100% sure.

A few personal opinions:

Snooping is addictive and bad for the relationship

Playing defense is the wrong way to go.

Remember, it has been 11 months now that OM has been gone, not weeks. Whatever problems I'm having now are between the two of us and not related to OM.