A few personal opinions:

Snooping is addictive and bad for the relationship
Huh. How did I miss that. I love it when my H reviews our cell phone bill. I love it when he wants to know my daily schedule. If he wants to put a VAR in my car, I couldn't care less (unless it's around his birthday. I'd hate for him to hear about his birthday present.) And he feels the same way (he is the wayward in our marriage). He couldn't care less. When we married, we became ONE. How is it bad for the relationship when you are confirming the safety of yourself?
Playing defense is the wrong way to go.
As opposed to what?

D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!