You know marriage counselors have an 85% failure rate, right? And most of them do not believe in or do not know how to restore romantic love to a marriage?

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8118_real.html

I would start forgetting the things your marriage counselor told you, because there is no way to get your wife to fall in love with you if you adopt disrespectful beliefs about her like the ones that came from your marriage counselor. Disrespectful judgments kill romantic love, they do not restore it. So no wonder this marriage counselor thinks you should just learn to live in withdrawal and "accept it."

I am so glad to hear you have an appointment with Steve! Maybe you can finally start turning this around.

Your wife is not "crazy making." She is not crazy. There's some things wrong that she needs you to fix, and you simply don't understand her point of view. Yet. That will come, but of course first you have to make it safe by eliminating all disrespectful judgments, selfish demands, and angry outbursts (whichever apply). Please believe me that your wife is not crazy. She has a Giver and a Taker, as Dr. Harley describes, and she is in the state of Withdrawal: her love bank balance is in the negative, and she does not want you to meet her emotional needs, nor is she willing to meet yours. Exactly as Dr. Harley describes.