Steve was great, he got to the root of my situation quickly and helped shed some new perspective on things. Where we landed, however, is that W would need to buy-in/participate in order for things to improve with the Marriage Builders plan. Steve's perspective is that she doesn't know what she's missing because she doesn't see the potential, so we need to get her there through "respectful persuasion". He really wanted to do a session with her but she steadfastly refused to talk to him. Any attempt at persuasion on my part is met by almost immediate emotional withdrawal on her part which makes life more painful for the following 3-4 weeks.

Good memory, unless you read it all again!

I think Steve is great, don't get the impression that he couldn't help. While W is staking out an inflexible position there's not much he can do.

I also spoke to another psychotherapist and relationship specialist. She said that my problem is that I'm holding onto the hope of a happy outcome here. She said I have really 4 choices and they are all very very painful so accept that, embrace that it's going to be painful and evaluate which one is best.

The options are to stay and continue to work on it (which she gave a low chance of success after 18 months), stay and give up on working on it, divorce and try to be the best possible co-parent, or make an arrangement where we continue to live together as partners but date other people to get our emotional needs met. She was in favor of the last one, but that's not something I would ever do.