Proverbs 15:1 (NIV)
1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
King Solomon as ruler was responsible for the peace of the people. In the verse above he gives us one means of keeping peace. Harsh words are often the beginning of an argument which leads to anger. It is always best for one to return an answer in righteous way with meekness of heart. Soft words and gentle reasoning will keep the peace, while overbearing and harsh words will stir up trouble.
Jay Kesler, president of Taylor University, from message "Families That Succeed," delivered on Focus on the Family Ministries told about a state trooper who was awarded an "Outstanding Trooper" award.
Kesler, who attended the same church as the trooper, said to him, "The governor said that in 15 years as a trooper, you haven't once roughed up a drunk or used excessive force on anyone. How can you be a state trooper for 15 years, dealing with the kind of stuff you deal with, and have that happen?"
"Well, I guess two things," the trooper responded. "First, if I am called to break up a fight at a tavern, I never say to myself, There's a drunk. I always say to myself, There's a man�someone's husband, someone's son, someone's neighbor�who got drunk. So I always try to think of him as a man, not a crime.
"Secondly, the Bible says that a soft answer turns away wrath. So whenever I walk up to the window of an automobile, I always speak a little lower than the person I'm speaking to."
So often I have heard a couple say, my spouse will say mean things to me they would never say to a friend. What happens in these relationships is that people become too comfortable and forget their spouse is their best friend. Instead of seeing a friend they would speak softly towards they see their spouse as an object they throw anger towards.
We need to view people as children of God. We need to see they have needs and feelings like everyone else. Instead of harsh responses we need to provide gentle responses with feelings that show we care.