My husband recently opened up to me about a year ago that he thinks he might have PTSD. He just started seeing a therapist. My question is, how do I know what how PTSD relates to his actions in our marriage or if it is just a problem with our incompatibility?
Background: We dated for 7 years before we got married and went through 3 deployments together during that time. Immediately after we married he started getting ready to leave the military and we would move so he could go to business school. He's now finishing business school and we're talking about getting a divorce because I don't make him happy and I feel like he's changed a lot since we married and moved and changed from military to civilian life. In the past year he's opened up to me a lot more about the terrible things he saw during deployments and I hurt for him when I hear the stories. He said he wants to live his life to the fullest now which I respect and understand tremendously. The issues have come because he often lives his life to the fullest without me. Not contacting me or getting back to me when I've needed him (I've had a series of medical scares and surgeries over the past year), drinking heavily while out with his friends, coming home late, going out 3-4 nights a week (I try to go with him, I'm usually invited but I'm not living a student lifestyle like that. We're both in our 30's) focusing all attention on friends from school and events with them. We've basically grown apart tremendously and although we're still living together cordially, we're planning to get a divorce.
We've both read a lot on MB. I've also read the His Needs Her Needs book. We both filled out the Emotional Needs Questionnaire. We tried discussing it together but started arguing 15min into it. He's always defending his views on living life that seem to me to be conflicting with being a husband and eventually a father.