Thank you both for responding. I've never snooped before. We've always been very open with our lives. We leave our phones around, know each others passwords, use each others computers to check email. So it wasn't hard to snoop.
His emails were empty. Oddly so. Whereas mine has thousands of emails in the Inbox and thousands more in the "trash" (accumulated over time), he only had a few emails and his "trash" was empty. As for his phone, I briefly looked through text messages and found nothing.
We've spent a couple of years trying to make things work. Marriage counselors, we've both read books, in fact he found this website without me and told me about it.
I've asked him before if he was seeing someone else or if we maybe interested in someone else and he said no. Not that I think he would admit it. When he asked me why I would ask that I told him that it just surprises me that quickly he turned off his emotions about this. I feel like I would have an easy time figuring out if he's been cheating. I know his friends, they know me. If he's having an affair, it's an affair with being the life of the party and working really hard. But maybe I'm naive.