Originally Posted by Frdmgal
I guess I just don't know why I'd go to all of the trouble of finding out if he's having an affair. If he is, then he is. If he isn't, well then he's still showing me enough disrespect and carelessness that it's warranted a lot of my friends and family asking me if he is cheating on me. Either way, the actions that he's showing towards me have left me feeling hurt and defeated in a similar way an affair might.
Is there a reason to find out for sure?

Without knowing the facts he can spin you any old sob story and you won't know what to believe.

I know that finding out that about my ex husbands affair was the best thing that had happened to me in ages, even though I decided not to recover.

For the first time lots of puzzling things about my life made sense, I had a plan, I could tell people and get support. I could lock my husband out of the house without feeling even slightly responsible for his welfare. I could call a divorce lawyer and tell them I had genuine grounds for divorce. I could change my number and ignore him. I learned how relationships can be happier and marriage affair proofed.

I'm in love and happier than ever now, but if I'd never found out I'd still be listening to my exes made up problems

If you want to recover your marriage you will need to expose the A and and ensure there is NC between them.

It's definitely an affair. Deleted emails huh.

What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.