Originally Posted By: KPT
Originally Posted By: apples123
You say you don't have time but between the 2 of you, you spend two hours per day at the gym. That's10 hours right there.

Right, but that would also involve her becoming involved with the effort unless it was us going together (which we used to do back in the day). Then it's also her agreeing and not feeling like I'm invading her "me time".

[/color]exactly
Originally Posted By: apples123
You have time. You need to put the dates on the schedule first everything else will fall into place.

The problem with the activities you mentioned, errands, homework, etc, is that they expand to fill all the available time. If you have a 2 hour block of time, grocery shopping takes 2 hours; if you have 45minutes, shopping takes 45 minutes.

I see your point there. Good idea, block the time out first and let the rest fall into place.





Just adding my other thoughts/questions below in effort to keep them on the forefront of the conversation.
Originally Posted By: KPT
Also - here's another question

Is there a "too much"? My wife is one of those that could potentially turn and run if she feels pressured or smothered. Now, turn and run would in reality be just pull away from me emotionally. I don't see her actually leaving as the kids are so important.


[color:#FF6666]look for a gym with child care, trade, do background checks. But get it done


Originally Posted By: KPT
You make valid points of course.

One of the challenges is finding a sitter. We are both extremely protective of our kids, her even mores. So it's usually the kids grandma that helps and getting a second sitter is super challenging. I'm not trying to make excuses, but those things sometimes are harder done than said. The marriage to me is and has always been number 1 but I know it's not that way with her and convincing her we need to get away and to start trusting other people is going to be tough.

What's the general opinion of telling people why I/we need the help so badly?

Other than that, I will buy the book today and start.