I'll be praying for you. The only person you can take care of is self. You cannot help another person who does not want to be helped. Your husband sounds like he has a lot of emotional trauma from his childhood. The sad part is it often leaves stuck as that child trying to find out way in an adult work. Tell you love him and will support him with counseling. Not that you are trying to fix him, but that you are trying to support him with love to make him better.