Haven't been on this site in years. Really didn't feel welcome for awhile. Felt like I was too weird, and too many of my posts were getting censored (trying to stay in the MB guidelines, but somehow not succeeding).
But today I got a "happy birthday" email from the system and decided to check it out.
Update: The guy I mentioned in the above post is now my husband, 5 yrs. We have a miracle baby (he couldn't have kids with his ex, and she had one from a prior relationship, so they thought it was him). We are very well matched and even though pushing 50 have a very active sex life. I'm almost embarrassed to type that, but I'm hoping it gives someone hope. Sometimes I forgive him something just so I can get a good romp. Night and day from when I first came to this site.
He is very much like me- doesn't get stimulated sexually just by good looking body alone. It has to come with love, attention, and being nice to him. Same as me. But most of my life I never had anyone treat me like that. So I never knew it. I'm thankful for learning about the asexual group, because getting to know those folks showed me that (not for everyone, but for many) this kind of sexuality stems from abuse.
I've worked a lot on myself personally and professionally and I wish I could tell you more details about the great life I'm living now, but I'm not sure how to do that while remaining anonymous. People look at me and don't recognize me because I carry myself so differently now.
I will say that my ex still isn't involved with our son (talks to him or texts maybe 2 times a year, has an occasional visit funded by grandma). My husband is a great father to him. We are good partners. Not perfect, lol, still some little kinks here and there, but we've been together 8 years and married 5 and still very, very happy. Still goofy with each other and still very attracted to each other despite the effects of age starting to set in.
Thank you all for your support during those tumultuous times.