My wife and I are starting to work things out<BR>after her affair, but the one sticking point which comes up for her is my daily mood swings. During most of the day I am fine,<BR>but at least once day or so I slip back into what has happened and I get depressed, angry<BR>and distant. This in turn makes her feel very anxious and feels if she has walk on eggshells. I want things to work out but these feelings are starting to get in the way of recovery. Any Advice

See your doctor...<BR>...to consider anti-depressant medication.<P>Mostly to even out your disposition...<BR>...to avoid highs and lows...<P>Make sure your W (and you) understand most such medication can take up to 4 to 6 weeks to properly kick in.<P> <P>Jim

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by NSR:<BR><B>See your doctor...<BR>...to consider anti-depressant medication.<P>Mostly to even out your disposition...<BR>...to avoid highs and lows...<P>Make sure your W (and you) understand most such medication can take up to 4 to 6 weeks to properly kick in.<P> <P>Jim</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

Boy, do I understand! My mood can change in an instant, for no apparent reason. H thinks there has to be something that triggers it, but usually there isn't--just constant thinking about different aspects of the affair.<P>On the practical side, we have been walking together 2 miles 4-5 times a week. The exercise has helped, relieves stress, plus this gives us some additional time together. Though I was somewhat skeptical, I finally gave St. John's Wort a try. It has helped a lot, without some of the side effects of antidepressants. But consult your doctor or counselor for what would be best for you.<P>Good luck! You're not alone--some comfort, huh?

For months I tried to hide my mood swings. To a certain point I still do. When I get really depressed I try to get out of the house or play on the computer or take a bath. In other words I try not to let my H know. I haven't been very good at that lately, but I am hoping that my H is getting better. Yes, every time I get anxioius or depressed, so does he. It is a vicious circle isn't it? Try to hang in there. The time between my mood swings has been geting longer and longer and the down time is shorter. My H and I can actually have a serious discussion and then get up from the sofa and laugh while making dinner. It does get a little better. We have only just recently been able to start this and d-day was May 7, so we're only 4 months into this thing.

The counsellor recommended anti-depressants but as I was breastfeeding then, I couldn't use that. So, I really had wild mood swings which often turned violent. The rage and fury stem from the 'wonderful' marriage I thought we had, and the twisted plot of an affair that had all the dramas of the movie fatal attraction.<P>It wasn't easy to cope. I was advised to compartmentalise my activitis, i.e., time to sleep, tend to baby, time to think about the A, etc..<P>I found calling supportive friends and family members helped. I avoided places and people that could trigger something off. Now it is much better, I go out more and devote my time and attention to baby.<P>I dream and think of how I can rise above the situation and shine for my baby and be an example for her.<P>My WS's remorse helped some but his defensiveness often make me angry again.<P>I also go out more to get some life and visit family often to get busy and support.<P>Praying and surrendering all to Jesus helps me, too. I lift my hands and say "All to Jesus I surrender, I surrender all".<P>God Loves you.<BR>Take care

I am so "lucky" (I guess I am not that lucky or I would not be in this situation) my H says he will help me and work through my emotional roller coaster for the rest of his life, he is just thankful he is given the chance to work through all of this. He is very remorseful and so wants to make our marriage better than ever. He encourages me to not hide any of the emotions I am going through. I am thinking of talking to my doctor though and get some sort of help because anxiety seems to be taking over now. There is so much more to the story and what we have to get through all because of a drunken one night stand. So, I have a lot of physical symptoms too. Talking with my H has been the best to work through my swings but a little extra help maybe called for. <P>------------------<BR>Carrie