I can relate, BrambleRose. <P>I don't think you necessarily have a control issue...when someone else is always trying to control you, just being yourself or trying to, LOOKS like you are trying to control too. But it's not.<P>My H also has conrol issues. And it think, although he's never said, that his relationship with the OW is all about that. She's younger, foreign and he is the mover-and-shaker of the relationship...the teacher.....the one to be worshipped. She's put him on some kind of pedistal, where he loves to be. Whatever.<P>He, just like all of us, deserve to be honored for the unique gifts and talents we bring to this world. He is one brillian man, with so many gifts, it's incredible. I truly was so pround (and still am) of him.<P>But getting to that pedistal by stepping over or on others is not the way to get there. It's by being honored by other, not by you forcing them to acknowledge you.<P>I had a question: Are you and he in counseling? I think, for me anyway, that would be a vital necessity for any kind of getting back together. There are just to many old and new issues that need to be addressed.<P>Aloha,<BR>Mrs.O<P>