Oh my goodness - I can't believe all the great responses! So so sorry I haven't posted mine yet. It's been one of those weeks.

My whole life growing up, my insecurities had to do with my appearance, mainly weight. I'm attractive, not overweight, but have to really watch it or I will gain a ton since I'm a shorty.

When I was married I was insecure about my weight and later became insecure that my XH was not telling me what was bothering him. You know the helper in us? I think back about it and wonder, was I pestering him to tell me what the heck was bugging him? He acted this way - like I was the one who had the problem with him. But good intuition has always been something I've had - he obviously was balancing two lives and was a mess and couldn't tell me.

Quite frankly, the day before his d day - I was prepared to file for divorce. After months of therapy, him taking medication for his intense anxiety, constant fighting, etc. I had just HAD it. I was exasperated and felt at my wit's end. I was a happy person who was so unhappy. I was a pretty secure person who felt so insecure.

It wasn't until I discovered his online affair that I started feeling really insecure about myself.

Then after some great therapy - felt better about it and began to take care of me. The truth was, regardless of the affair - I discovered that our marriage wasn't really over, it had never really begun. Does that make sense? We had all of these problems before we EVER walked down the aisle. We should have never walked down the aisle.

I felt like I had really lost myself.

But, now - I'm back! Whoo hoo.

I'm very comfortable with myself, appearance, and body shape now. Hey, I'm not perfect - but who the heck is.

Trust - I never had trust issues in my life, maybe with strangers, salesmen, etc., but not with those close to me.

Even now, I'm dating a nice man. And, trust isn't an issue with him. Actually, his insecurity is trust.

Then I wonder, am I too trusting?

My issues? Well, I could be a better listener. Still working on this. I tend to make assumptions. When something upsets me, I tend to get loud and yell. (This has ALWAYS been an issue of mine.) It's a challenge, but it's getting easier. I don't have a temper, I just get exasperated when I feel no one is hearing me (validating me).

I'm also learning that since we're MB's, we're one step ahead in the growing process. I've learned so much. Haven't you? Good and bad.

Ok, I'm done rambling. More tomorrow.

Thanks to all who posted. I'm going to read over them all again tonight.

Hugs,
Llama