T --- <p>more questions for you. <p>You said he stayed home with D --- where? Are you still letting him have the comforts of your home?<p>Have you set up any kind of boundries yet?<p>Please Please Please Please make him face the consequences. Don't enable him anymore! ! ! ! <p>What is he doing? Are you having any conversations with H? When you say you challenged him -- what do you mean??

Terri,
Look at your weekend...your H's threats...people care about YOU, they are inviting just YOU, they are glad YOU showed up. <p>Are you losing some fear of his blathering?<p>Good for you going to these outings. I found I got a little used to it, even if I still noticed my H wasn't with me.

Lex, Good to hear from you. I'm a little worried about my D. I'm torn between making him take her elsewhere vs staying at our house so that she doesn't suffer...I don't know. She wants to make sure that Papa and Mama are at "home" together...she's really hung up on "home" and why Papa isn't always there. <p>What is he doing? He remains steadfast now in his belief that WE are over. I guess I have no choice but to move in that direction. I challenged him by asking him if this was really all worth the pain. He just doesn't care anymore. <p>Feeling hopeless today...<p>Lor, I really enjoy reading your posts. They offer so much hope for me because it sounds as if you've "been there and done that" and still come out recovering your marriage. <p>That is so what I really want a chance to do...I pray God gives me the chance to prove what we can be.

I think he wants to work on the M... deep down.. he wants to come home... but ... NOW... does he want to lose more face?<p>YOu see... you have a prideful man, and that pride is killing him and your family... I even think his dad sounded full of pride In that .. the marriage is dead... SO much not at all... even considering the possibilites of working things out... ? HELLO>.. he sounds a bit like dad.. "IT"S over" it seems like this family knows not how to work out things.. but to end things... my H's family is the same... <p>So be careful - he is going to need time to recover from the truth being known... dont say anymore to his famm or friends.<p>H

Terri,
You are really being put through the ringer. It is VERY tough and you are really doing great, considering the circumstances. Keep your chin up.<p>Something for you to consider...
You said:<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>I'm a little worried about my D. I'm torn between making him take her elsewhere vs staying at our house so that she doesn't suffer...I don't know. She wants to make sure that Papa and Mama are at "home" together...she's really hung up on "home" and why Papa isn't always there.<hr></blockquote><p>Your daughter has some healing to do. She has the same harsh reality to face that you are facing. She already knows something is VERY wrong. I really hope you recieve this in love and I don't know any other way to say it than to just come right out and say it... You are lying to your D and I think it is harmful to make an attempt to show her that it is his home. I think it may be confusing and cause more turmoil for her. I agree that there is a time when we must protect and shelter them from the pain of the truth but I also think it is WAY passed time for doing that. When our WS are in the missed of their deception and their A, they act like they want to be married to us, that is why they lie. And we all know the lying is worse than the truth. Its confusing for us. There is an inner struggle going on within us that says something is not right YET the WS continues to act as if everything is alright. It is a horrible state to be in and that maybe what your D is going through. They don't want to know YET they do. Does this make any sense? Her little mind doesn't want to know the truth BUT it is soooo important to know the truth. To say: D, I know you are hurting, it is sad, things are NOT right and cry together. It kinda tells her: your right, D, things aren't right. It may confirm in her little spirit that she is not crazy. That is how I felt while my H lied, I felt like I was going crazy because my inner self was saying something was wrong and my WS was saying everything is fine. I wanted sooooooo desparately to believe him, that I gave up my sanity, I gave up the facts and proof of the lies, I gave it up to believe the fairytale, that it would all work out. But to act as if it may be right someday, it keeps her hopes up and the harsh reality is that it may not. Terri, you know your D better than I do. You know what is best for her better than I do. I trust your decision in telling her and when to tell her in your time. I just want to make sure you have all the facts when making your decision. God bless their little hearts for having to suffer the consequences of a WS actions. It tears me up! Terri, I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope and pray you have a homechurch family to help get you through this and a relationship with God to sustain you and give you hope that you will be okay with or without your H.<p>Hang in there Terri. Keep posting. We truly care about you.

Dear Honey, You're so sweet and positive. Most times, I don't see any of that in my angry H. All he wants is to OUT of the marriage but I guess there are things that seem to contradict what he says. But I definitely see pride. <p>No more telling for me. I agree. Leave what's done behind me for now. <p>Dear ILUV, Thank-you for your heartfelt response. It seems you truly understand the varying emotions I feel when it comes to my daughter. Is she too young for the harshness of our current reality? <p>Who knows but God?<p>Hugs to both of you for your care and encouragement.

T- You are going to be OK.. you are OK... especially on leeting h watch D at your house.. DONT... Now I understand how you feel on this too.. but dont give him the luxury of freely roaming your home.. and of pretending to be an aat home daddy... it will hit him harder as reality sinks in... I dont think he wants this.<p>Take care of you.<p>Honey