ok. I'll step in and offer a different perspective. My marriage FAILED. But... everything I've learned and done has been WORTH IT!!!<p>I found this site a few days after exH left unexpectedly, 5/14/01, so I became armed and prepared for the announcement he made when he came home and announced the A 2 weeks later. I immediately began Plan A, which was VERY MUCH about ME, and making MUCH-needed changes in myself.<p>The next 4 months were Plan A in separation, doing my best to demonstrate changes I had made, and continuing to grow and learn myself. H gained a little hope - the A began to fizzle - and he came home. He expected miracles, and then OW began pursuing him again, and he was gone again. Eventually to file D. I went to Plan B, the D became final, and here I am.<p>It was alllll worth it! Yes! I learned so much about myself, marriage, and affairs. I am scared to death of the future, but NEARLY not as scared as I was the first day he left. I am armed with self-confidence, MB principles, and awareness of others and their needs.<p>I have also demonstrated to XH, the OW, and everyone around me what I believe to be true commitment to marriage. Maybe - just maybe - someone else will become more aware of the needs in their marriage, and can benefit from what I went through.<p>It's also worth it because I have peace of mind that I did everything I could - for myself - and for my XH. I didn't walk away. I didn't run when it got difficult. And I didn't blame him for everything. I took responsibility for myself.<p>So... all the blood, sweat, and tears are WORTH it... whether your marriage is reconciled, or NOT. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]<p>[ June 24, 2002: Message edited by: Faith1 ]</p>