External things are much easier to change than internal ones. Losing weight, changing a hairstyle, listening to different music, getting different friends, going to different places, changing jobs etc...and changing partners. With a new partner we feel alive and amazing! Of course - once the chemicals subside, and the bills are pouring in for all the 'newness' of our life - we're forced to once again take a look at the reality of the situation. When the situation starts to feel uncomfortable again, even with all the 'new' - that's when we stop to examine what our part in all this is - and what we can do that will REALLY change the situation. Or - the person just keeps on running and trying to fix everything externally.