Dear God,

CMiranda, I feel soo sorry for your H. When you post what you do, knowing what you know, you are just using the poor man. He doesn't have a chance in H*** of making your happy with your attitude and the pain he feels and is going to feel, I just cannot imagine.

With your feeling the way you do, why don' t you divorce him. It will do him a hugh financial favor, and then he might have a chance at a life with a real human being, with feelings and a sense of guilt.

It bothers you because he tries to please you too much. Oh Brother, such a warped sense of what is right, and more trying to somehow justify what you are doing.

All I can say CMiranda, is I hope God Blesses you and more than anything your child and your H.

JL

Hi guys & gals yes! yet another question WS that have replied to this thread if you no longer want your marriage then & you are in a new relationship are you following the marriage builders plan?????

Am going to post a note on the recovery board to see if we can get some input from the good folks there from people recovering their marriages....

Wrungout,
To try to answer your question about how their A's can sustain themselves based on lies, deceit, etc.
Most of them can't... you can't build a castle on a sand foundation.
Stay Strong!
Wallace

Wallace! thanx for your dedication to this post!! Now the sand theory makes sense to me, as Steve Harley said these A are built on lies dishonesty & deceit & in the end the affairees end up becoming suspicious of each other, well he/she did it to their partner maybe the same thing will happen again & so the sand castle fall down.....
Hey though ya might like to read this...

A professor stood in front of his class with some items in front of him.
When class began, wordlessley he picked up a large empty mayonaise jar & proceeded to fill it with rocks right to the top, rocks about 2 inches in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles & poured them into the jar. he shook the jar lightly. The pebbles of course rolled into the open areas between the rocks. The students laughed. He asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed that yes it was. The professor then picked up a box of sand & poured it into the jar, of course the sand filled up everything else. "Now" said the professor "I want you to recognise that this is your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your health, your partner, your children - anything that is so important to you that if it were lost, you would be nearly destroyed. The pebbles are the other things in life that matter, but on a smaller scale. The pebbles represent things like, your job, your friends, your house your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff. If you put the pebbles or sand in the jar first, there is no room for the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your Energy & time on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are truly most important.
Pay attention to the things that are critical in your life. Play with your children. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house , give a dinner party, fix the disposal unit" TAKE CARE OF THE ROCKS FIRST - THEY ARE THE THINGS THAT REALLY MATTER..

Wrungout,
Good story, and how so true.
If most people would lead their lives with that story in mind, then I think there would be a lot less turmoil in people's lives and marriages.
Hey everybody out there who haven't posted an answer yet... and I know there is still quite a few of you. It would be again appreciated if you would post a response.
Thanks to all who have posted.
Stay strong!
Wallace

<small>[ July 15, 2002, 09:15 AM: Message edited by: Wallace ]</small>

BUMP!!