Having conversations is not at all 'clingy', but having 'poor, poor pitiful me' conversations is. If you can handle having him come over and help with some house projects, by all means do it! Just make sure you put a time limit on it and have some kind of diversionary tactics in place for when you feel those nasty LB's coming on. Who knows where this will lead, you gotta start somewhere.

As far as not knowing where he is, I'm positive most states require some kind way to get a hold of the spouse 24/7 as part of the separation agreement. What if there was an emergency with one of the kids, how could you tell him what is going on? He needs to give you some way of contacting him, if you have to, use the separation agreement to accomplish this.

Its good to hear that he may be making more of an effort to keep in touch with the kids. They are his kids as well, they should be on the top of his priority list.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Nothing new here, which is part of the problem. I feel like there is no way WH is ever coming back. We've had three weeks of basically no contact and he seems OK with it. I think things have picked up with OW too. I don't how he can tell me that she doesn't mean anything to him.
I am so afraid that I'm making changes too late. He asked for help months ago and I ignored it. What if it's really too late?
His life is much easier now...little responsiblity. I'm really scared that it's too late.
-CS

Completely blew it! Wh called and I asked him to drop something off and he couldn't (he is too far away at OW's, which he didn't say). I LB'd. I said, Oh, You need to check with OW? Then I apologized. He said, it's not the first thing that I needed when I got in town. Then I said, I don't know why you ever said she didn't mean anything to you. He said nothing.
I said good bye and hung-up. I've had it.
-CS

<small>[ July 24, 2002, 06:07 PM: Message edited by: can't sleep ]</small>

CS:

I relate so much to your situation (except we don't have kids) and get so much encouragement reading LoveHerStill's and Cali's post to you.

Yes, you did LB, it is the hardest thing to try not to do when all you want to do is grab them by the feet, lift them upside down, and shake those loose screws out their heads!!

We are riding the same emotional roller coaster, love him, hate him, love him, hate him, love him.

GC-
Thanks for your posts. I appreciate everyone's posts and yes, you are right, LHS and Cali's posts are very helpful. I hate what I said tonight-I've been good. It's been a tough week-kids, money, jobs, and then WH can't break away from OW and help me for two seconds and then he says he has to check his schedule? Pooh on that. Anyway, still disgusted with myself. I thought I was beyond this crap.
The fall-out will be that WH will say he doesn't want to call the kids anymore at night because I'll start that type of conversation. Untrue.
Hope your rollercoaster ride is going better than mine tonight-
CS

Hi. Feeling alittle better today. I just got my hair "sunkissed" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> . I just wish WH would throw me a line and stop seeing OW. Today is one of those days that I think, "CS, get on with your life, make separate plans for your life and FORGET about WH because he is NOT coming back." And today, I feel sad but peaceful-not angry. Sad that after being out-of-town, WH has dinner with OW instead of seeing his kids. She must be something.
Bye,
-CS

Tell me something good, please!
-CS

Your doing great CS. So you made a little LB there, no biggie, we cant be expected to be super-human all the time. Remember that you cant make WH do anything, its his loss that he is missing out on such a wonderful person as you. Eventually the fun of the OW will wear off and he will finally realize what he has given up.

Stay strong CS, you really are doing a good job. Keep focusing on yourself and your kids, they need you more than ever right now. I just think it is so sad that WH blows them off like that.