wrestlingwith love posed a question to me and hope on my other thread about meeting our needs for affection and romance. he wants to know what, as women we consider romantic. so i thought we should all come foward and help him and others with our ideas.

i would love to get flowers for no reason, nothing expensive, maybe sunflowers or daisies. i would love to open a drawer and find a love note. an e-mail telling me he's thinking of me or a voice mail message about the same.

i have been affection starved for so long i could go on forever-how about it anyone else????

<small>[ August 09, 2002, 05:42 PM: Message edited by: nikko ]</small>

Heck, I would be so surprised and pleased to just get some flowers out of the blue. (Or ever!) Anything that would SHOW me that he is thinking about me. He is physically affectionate, so there is not a problem there, And he has gotten much better about drawing me out to talk when its evident that I am sad. He calls me more often throughout the day too. So things have changed for the better.

In my wildest dreams, I would love for him to rent a hotel room , kidnap me and take me for a wild night of sex. I've done this for him, doesn't he think I would like it in return? I guess not. I just want to feel special, like I am the only one. I would like him to be wild over me ( like I know he was for her <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> ) C

THanks nikko.

I feel a litle misleading in a way though. I have ideas of romance and I have done some of the things that you have stated.

I am going to write a statement/speech from my boss. Boss is recently divorced, signed papers a little over a week ago, and he doesn't know of my situation. PLEASE, do not beat me up over his statement......He said that W wants him to quit going out drinking with freinds so late, so he quit staying out late...then she wants him to quit drinking and he quit drinking...then she wanted him to cook supper, so he starts ccoking supper...she wants him to do dishes, so he starts doing dishes....she wants sex, so he starts having sex....she wants emotional conversations, so he starts having emotional conversations..... He states that they (women) always want more after they get what they want.

Is this the same with romance? Once us men have done something, you want more, well actually something different? Does it get boring for you?, to have the same romanctic thing done over and over? (EX: having sex in only one position for 2 months, i'd think that would get boring)

I think "we" have ideas about romance and we know how to implement them. BUT, I also believe that "you gals" want more or different to take "romance" to another level. "WE" dont, or might not, know what that is. This is why I said Help us, teach us.

THanks again nikko.

wwl

ps A possible reason for lack of romance....when we first did do something romantic, we got a huge, positive response form you ladies. When we did the same thing later down the road, we didn't get the same response as before. That is a very possible reason as to why we may stop doing some "romantic" things, fear of disappointment. So if we dont do it, no disappointment or rejection is involved. JUST a thought.........anyways..........

<small>[ August 03, 2002, 01:32 PM: Message edited by: wrestlingwithlove ]</small>

nikko,

I would like to make one point clear here. I am not the type of guy that thinks that a "6 pack of beer" and a "happy meal" is a romantic night!

I'm not that bad, or stupid.

But, like I said, my ideas and "your" ideas are different. And i'd like to know others.

wwl

dear wwl-i said you posed a question-not neeed all our help. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

i want to hear your ideas also about romance. and any other guy. i read and re-read your answer and thought of a way you guys may get this. you told us a story about the guy who was asked one thing, then another then another. her needs kept changing and she wanted more. well yes... if you had to have sex missionary style for the rest of your life you would naturally want something different. you would still enjoy it but you would want more and maybe something different also!LOL

its not that the one thing is no longer good enough, you just want variety! so do we!

i hope this helps----i have thought of the kidnapping thing--love it!

There is absolutely nothing more sexy to me than seeing my man in his pajama bottoms with a broom in his hands!! Especially when he does an extra little booty twitching while he's sweeping my floor. It's the one thing that no matter how many times he does it, it is still appreciated and it is still a turn on for me.

As for doing the same thing over and over, I think for the most part, us women like variety because it means you guys put some thought into what you planned for us. If your usual thing is to buy her perfume for every anniversary, then in time she's going to feel like you never pay attention to other things she might like, you just revert to your standard operating procedure and buy perfume. Would you want a tie every birthday, or would you rather have a variety of things? Meaningful things that say "I spent some time thinking of what YOU like before I chose this gift."

My ideas, OK here it goes:

1) flowers, any kind or any time
2) cards of thoughfulness, or caring, or love. or to even say that I f'ed-up.
3) take her lunch unexpected
4) take her to lunch unexpectly
5) put a piece of chocolate in her purse so she only finds it when at work
6) leave an email once in a while, something provocative (this one, i found out doesn't work so well though, she's barely on computer, so one time the message didn't get read for 3 days and by that time, that "feeling" was gone, well not gone but less)
7) come up behind her and......give her a neck rub
8) give her a light massage by candles before "shower and bed"
9) taking her to her favorite Italian place unexpectedly when I feel she really needs to get away
10) give her a kiss (yes, this is romanctic for her, i didn't do that for over 2 years at one point)

Past that. I'm not sure..... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

wwl

PS I wish our "romance" life could be like our "sex" life! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> THen we wouldn't have any problems! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ August 03, 2002, 02:15 PM: Message edited by: wrestlingwithlove ]</small>

dear wwl-you have some great ideas. i wish others would jump in here-i think we could all use a few fresh ideas.

i kidnapped my husband from work yesterday-showed up all sexy looking and took him to one of our favorite resturants. its far away so we dont get there but once a year, maybe. he was floored!!! it was a wonderful evening and im about to go crawl back in bed with him now!!!

nikko
Tell your husband that I'm jealous of him <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />
We go out on every pay day,I buy her flowers(at the start of every work week). If she needs shoes I by them.I always try to make sure her needs are met.
231

<small>[ August 04, 2002, 07:11 AM: Message edited by: 231 ]</small>

Nikko,

Glad to hear your feeling better about your H. To kidnap him and all.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Did you read the thread wwl showed us? It was really good.

the romance thing is one of my ENs I like to give it But I get twarted by a lot of silence, so I dont know how what im doing in recieved.....

And the point on dissappointment is right on. I would give my WW something and would get, "thats really nice", "thank you", 'its a little too yellow(or something)"it will look good here', I like that you did it"

Well, which of those comments do you thing goes the deepest? And doesn't get noticed until after years of getting dissapointed, then shutdown. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

If I could give a thought here, NEVER, NEVER, did I say never, during the time of the giving (and maybe for some time later) imply in anyway how the romantic action could have been better.

I'm reading this with interest, some thoughts also,

-Let her have a shower, alone (no one banging on the door with mom where's my....)
-Give a surprize bithrday party with her gilfriends, when its not her birthday
-Hire a limosine to take her to work and pick her up (to go to a favorite spot and meet you there)
-Remind her you are proud of her, hold hands in public, introduce her as someone you are very happy to be with...

Just a few, maybe I can think of more later.

DRS

Hmmmm, romance, gee it has been so long, but I am searching my long term memory.

The most romancit thing my STBX ever did was to get me a kitten for our 2nd anv. He had to work with the apt. building we were living & hunt for the free kittens. Even after 20 yrs it still brings a warm feeling to my heart.

Now what I wish he done.

1. I wish just once he has suprised me with maid service, to just really deep clean the house.

2. I love to read. I would have loved for him to go through one of the many bks that were always around, find the most romancit sexy scene he could fine & then try & to duplicate.

I taught with a friend who we all named her husband ST. .... the Perfect, as he is the total flowers, cards & stuff guy but as much as she likes all that after a few yrs, I think she like some different.

nikko,

Get any sleep last night? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I'm really starting to like what I'm seeing here, I hope it keeps up.

wwl

The most important thing is to figure out what your spouse likes & why & do that.

Me - I don't like flowers & my H used to sent them for many occasions. Why didn't I like to get them? Because when he would send them, he would call up a florist, order them, charge them to the credit card & then I got to pay the bill when it came. So I felt like I was sending myself flowers that I didn't even get to pick out & I would have rather spent the money on something else. I would love it if my H would stop on his way home from work & pick up even a single flower, or stop & pick wildflowers. That shows some effort & love.

H always spends lots of time picking out cards for me, so I make sure I read them carefully because I know he has put great effort into it for me.

I don't like to be an afterthought. I want to be #1 in his mind and heart!

Just a few thoughts here.

If your spouse sends you flowers, candy or balloons, don't say "Oh you shouldn't have". They'll probably never do it again!!! Say something like I am so glad you were thinking of me and they are my favorite kind too!!

Write I love you on the mirror when it is all steamed up in the morning.

Tape a note to the steering wheel of the car.

Make a cassette or CD of music that is special and stick it in the car.

Record a love letter that you have written and leave it in the car for them to listen to on the way to work, beat them to work and actually have the letter on their desk.

Pick up a picnic lundh and pick them up for lunch.

Hike to the top of a mountain and then look out and turn and look in their eyes and say you are more beautiful then this.

Lead them on a scavenger hunt ending with soft music and a romantic meal out in the middle of nowhere.

Beat them home from work and have the kids out of the house for the evening, have a nice bath drawn with candles and the works, and after words snacks to nibble on.

Leave a cloth hankie for them with your cologne or perfume on it so they carry your scent around with them all day. I always loved the way my STBX smelled in the morning before leaving to go to work.

Write love notes and place as many as you can in hellium balloons along with confetti, after giving them, start popping the balloons so that your love is raining over them.

As you can see that there are many things that I can come up, and no of them cost much money either. You just have to take the intiative to do them, and if you don't get the response that you were hoping for, don't ever not do it again, try something different.

My 2 cents worth, remember I am cheap, none of the things I have listed would cost over $20 if you did not want it to!!

Have fun,
Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Dawn,

Those were some very good ones you listed, and SOOOOOOOOO simply. Sometimes I forget romance doesn't have to be complicated.

Thank you

wwl

I found a great idea here on MB a couple years ago and it worked like a charm. I bought a bunch of balloons (I used his favorite team colors - silver and blue) and put a note in each one before blowing them up. I had them in the master bath room for him when he got home from work and I had him sit on the balloons one by one to get his note. He spread the popping out for a few days. He loved the idea.

I also like to massage his feet when he's watching tv. I'll use the 2-step foot massage stuff so he gets a good treatment.

I put heart confetti in his rolled up socks. When he gets to the gym during the day to work out he unrolls the socks and the confetti falls onto the floor. He knows I'm thinking about him!

I greet him at the door most nights when he gets home from work since I usually get home first. When we don't have the boys around I'll greet him in my birthday suit! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Of course we're separated at the time and it's been a while since I've done any of this! I alsways enjoyed doing these things and look forward to the day when I'm free to love him!

Have fun!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

dear wwl- i didnt get much sleep-neither did he <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> i did crawl back in bed with him and got some sleep then. for the first time in a long time, he was up before me and made coffee for me. it was the best cup of coffee ive had in a long time. he never does this-even when he could. for once he thought of me-it was wonderfull.

anyway-back to the thread.... im allready planning my next adventure. i think i may send him balloons filled with a note that i cut into individual words-an invatation to meet me somewhere-but he has to put the note together first to find out where!!

i wonder if a hellium balloon would still fly with a thong in it?????????? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

nikko,

You're bad!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> A thong in a balloon.

You've always made me laugh, but I almost wet myself with that one.

wwl

glad i could oblige......when i lose my sense of humor i know im in trouble, and anyone who gets in my way....LOL

Yes I hellium balloon can probably float with a thong in it!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />