Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 3,073
Member
|
Member
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 3,073 |
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">The A is completely over now, the feelings are gone, and I don't want to worry him unnecesarily when I go to work every day. (Since I still work with OM.) </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This statement ALONE says that the affair is not completely over.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 74
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 74 |
You can be the best wife in the world for the rest of your life but that does not change the past. You said that you are protecting him and your family, but in reality the only person you are protecting is you. You seemed to want to make all the decision in your M. You made the decision to have the affair now you are making the decision to withhold information about you and your marriage from him. He needs this information to decide if he wants to continue the M or improve the way he meets your needs so this will never happen again. If your waiting for the perfect time to tell him it will never come, because no matter what this will hurt him to the soul.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,457
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,457 |
I am afraid that you are still disrespecting and humiliating your husband. It is so common for a wayward wife to say I am protecting my husband from pain so I will not tell him. It is a total copout and really based on the fact that the husband may decide to leave or rebuild and the WW is not willing to take the chance. The foundation of your marriage is now built on lies and deceit. I am sure if the roles were reversed you would want your husband to be forthcoming and honest with you. It sounds to me that you do not have faith in yourself,your husband and your marriage to be honest and rebuild your committment based on truth and honesty. I feel sorry for your husband that you feel more comfortable continuing to lie to him then tell him the truth. I think you underestimate your husband and he deserves more than this.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 3,073
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 3,073 |
Would you want your husband to do the same? Would you want him to protect you from the pain?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
Dear Never, PLEASE ... answer this question .... and give your reasons for your Yes or no response. Thanks. If you knew your H had cancer ...(but he was not told) ... would you spare him the pain of knowing the truth?Pepper <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> <small>[ August 13, 2002, 11:08 AM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
749
guests, and
86
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,627
Posts2,323,509
Members71,990
| |
Most Online3,224
May 9th, 2025
|
|
|
|
|
|
