The hawaiian shirt story is a bit anti-climactic, I'm afraid, although I do recognize its long-term potential impact.

Anyway, here's how it went: I got a new cologne (some funky expensive orange bottle that my D picked out. She said the "chicks just LOVE that one, daddy!" With an endorsement like that, how can I lose, right?) so I splash a good dose of it on, put on the hawaiian shirt, and head out...late!

Got in the car, cranked the Dave Mason CD, and sang all the way...

Get home, my son opens the door, laughs and says "Cool shirt, Pops!" (He frigging really does call me pops! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> ) I just smiled, hugged him and went in.

I'm standing at the foot of the stairs, and I hear my W coming down. She stops, makes a face like "what the flip?!?!?!" and says, "Nice shirt! Where'd you get it?" I just said "Thanks! I've always wanted on of these." She comes down the stairs, looks at it again and says "I like it, that's a nice print. Where'd you get it?" I said "I got it today; loved it as soon as I saw it!" and walked into the kitchen to check out the tenderloin.

If my W noticed the cologne, she did not say...the evening went along quite normal all the BILs and SILs came, kids came and went, I made a beer run for my son's party later, normal chit-chat...of course none of the ILs know I'm gone yet...

My "grilled" beef tenderloin is a family favorite, and since y'all asked, I'll tell 'ya!
We get a whole tenderloin (probably 8-9 lbs.) salt it up with coarse salt, add "grilling sauce" and let it marinate overnight. Then (and here's the secret to it) you fire up the grill on mega-max until it's smokin'! Then you put it in, still on max, and sear it, both sides, until it's starting to blacken. This "seals" it and keeps it juicy. Then you turn the heat to to minimum, about 20-25 minutes (for med to med-well), flip it a couple of times, and that's it!

If you like steak, great tasting and juicy, this baby's heaven! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> finger-licking tasty and toasty outside, butter-soft and juicy inside...Yummmmmmm! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I guess we've both settled into this pre-Plan B non-committal she plays hard to get, and I play I don't give a flip...

I waited until all the guests left, helped her pick up and clean up after dinner, gave her a quick peck and a tap on the tush, and said goodnight!

Not too exciting, huh?

Here's a picture of my D and I...and the now-famous (or is it infamous?) hawaiian shirt! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
SC and D

Space...the shirt looks FABULOUS! And your daughter...she's BEAUTIFUL!

I KNOW she noticed the cologne. We women notice that. At this stage of the game she probably just thinks you're trying to impress HER...at a later stage of the game she'll began to wonder...then worry, that it's NOT her. That's ok...that's some good mental lubrication to help stimulate HOBP (head outta butt popping).

Thanks H4F,

She IS beautiful...killer!

I imagine you're right about her noticing; it was a good start, I think..."good mental lubrication to help stimulate HOBP (head outta butt popping)" VERY good one! LMAO!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Awww geeze .... "mental lubrication" "HOBP" .... I am making mental notes on how and where I can use that one! .... I am trying to apply it to my hospital administrator .... hmmmm?

The shirt R*O*C*K*S .... you look very cool pops! (Ever try cool pops? Those tubes of sugar water you freeze, then cut the top of the plastic off and crunch on when it's 110 in the shade in Texas) .... Or were they freezer pops? (I just woke up)

I think your shirt and cologne made a MUCH bigger impact than she's letting on. I LOVE the way you answered her question"Where did you get it?" .... perfect! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I am a carnivore.

Pepper <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

P.S. Insight into womens' minds ....

I KNEW she would ask "Where did you get it?" .....

WHY is she asking? Does SHE want one just like it? (I doubt it) .... She asked you TWICE "Where did you get it?" .....Is she going Hawaiian shirt shopping this weekend? (I doubt it) Is she considering opening an Island-wear store in Texas (I doubt it).

She asked 2 times ... "Where did you get it?"

Why should she care where you got it?

Mental K-Y ........ <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ August 10, 2002, 10:27 AM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>

I probably should have said it was a present...no; too much...

Too much AND not true ....

Spacecadet ---> MAN OF MYSTERY <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Are you ready to hear about more SCUD-MISSILE tactics?

Pep <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Pepperband:
<strong>Too much AND not true ....

Spacecadet ---> MAN OF MYSTERY <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Are you ready to hear about more SCUD-MISSILE tactics?

Pep <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Absolutely, Pep! I need a full repertoire <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I blew it, then kind of un-blew it...I don't know!

I went home to install a scanner for my W, (she needs it for work and I'd been doing the scanning for her when I was home). When I came in she was on the phone and I stood around with the scanner, waiting for her to finish. She finished, looked up, looked happy, and came over, took my hands in hers, and said; "Thank you very much for last night. Thank you for helping me and being so sweet." Hugged me and gave me a kiss, I hugged her back and held her for a moment.

I then sit down at the PC, minimize Outlook, and what do I see? An email she's composing, to an unknown person, telling them all about our "problems". Since she's standing right there, I ask her "Who is this?" and she says "What! you have the right to talk to whoever you want about us and I don't?!?!" So I say "When have I ever said you don't have the right to talk to anyone? I just asked who this is? That's all." She tells me who it is (a friend's sister, who turn out to be a psychologist, and she says she's been talking to her.) I said "OK"

Then I installed the scanner, tested it, and let her try it to make sure she knows how it all works. I got a little impatient because these are things I've shown her how to do many times and it always seems like I've never shown her...anyway, I tried to not get upset, walked her through it until she was satisfied.

Then I said "You know, all I did was ask who that was, I asked the same way you've asked me whom I've talked to about this, and I've told you. You don't have to get defensive and interpret what I say that way. How did 'who is that' turn into 'you can't talk to anyone about our problems' ? "
BIG mistake! She started off about the look, the tone, etc. etc. I just stopped her and said "you know, I don't know how in the world you've convinced yourself that my sole purpose in life over the last 10 years has been to hurt you, do you harm, belittle you and put you down. I have much better things to do with my life than that, and I've been here with you all these years because I want to be, and I love you, not on some mission to hurt you!" then she said "You know what the problem is?" I didn't answer and didn't let her continue.
I saw I'd probably said more than I should have, and had raised my voice and tone, and decided to back down and walk away. I said "you can do whatever you want with your life, the time for talk is over. You're welcome for the scanner.", turned and walked out.

I was furious. Furious at her for being so frigging stubborn and not having learned ANYTHING in all this time, furious at myself for again having let her make me angry and fight. Just furious!

As I drove back to my new "home", I calmed down, decided it wasn't worth ruining my Plan B by exiting with such a nasty memory, and called her. I said "I'm so sorry I lost my temper, I didn't mean to and I know it was wrong." she said "Thank you for calling..." she's sniffling now "I'm sorry too. Thank you for all these things you've done for me, I really appreciate it." I said "you're very welcome, I'm happy to do it...I'm sorry I got angry; I know I've made many mistakes, I've talked to you about them, and I mean it. I'm sorry." then I went on "it's a little different from what you've been thinking of me for so long, isn't it?" She was probably not ready for that and said "what?" And I repeated "That my doing all these things for you all the time is a little different from what you've been thinking I do for a long time, isn't it?" and sje said "Yes, it is different...I really appreciate all you do...I'm glad you called..." she's ready to lose it now, almost outright crying and says "I'm sorry too...I know I've made many mistakes." and she's crying... so I said "It's OK, I'm sorry about this...you take care, and we'll talk later, OK?" and she says "OK, thank you, thank you for calling and telling me this...bye."

And so, the saga continues, with these exchanges, these episodes that mean nothing and mean so much, and the questions arise again...is she sincere? does she mean that? is she thinking?...questions with no answers...

I'm not sure how to deliver the Plan B letter to her. I was thinking of coming over on Sunday, giving it to her, have her read it and let her talk to me about it. Does that sound OK, reasonable? Or should I just give it to her, tell her to call me about it when she reads it, and leave? Not tell her anything and leave? Any ideas?

<small>[ August 10, 2002, 01:35 PM: Message edited by: Spacecase ]</small>

Tossing in my uneducated opinion......

Didn't SH say to give your Plan B letter to her about a week after leaving? The reasons you said he gave for doing this.....I think it's happening! Why the rush to go No Contact by Sunday? Isn't that only 4 days since you left?

I would give it the entire week that SH advised and you agreed to.

Plan A! Plan A! Plan A! right up to the last millisecond!!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by YetAgain:
<strong>Tossing in my uneducated opinion......

Didn't SH say to give your Plan B letter to her about a week after leaving? The reasons you said he gave for doing this.....I think it's happening! Why the rush to go No Contact by Sunday? Isn't that only 4 days since you left?

I would give it the entire week that SH advised and you agreed to.

Plan A! Plan A! Plan A! right up to the last millisecond!!!</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Actually, that's a good question YA, and really the only reason for it was that in my Plan B letter, I tell her about the appointment with Steve already set for next week, and encourage her to use it. Apart from that, no other reason to do it sooner...

I could just email it to her, let her know it's set, and ask her if she wants to use it or I should...?

Based on the sniffles during your last convo, I would tell her either by telephone (but don't linger, have a reason to need to get off the phone) or email her the info. Give her a time limit to make her decision and let you know (based on when you would need to know in order to use the appt if she wasn't going to, even if the time limit was up to one hour before appt time).

Really Spacecase, I just had to laugh. After such an awesome Plan A, such a great transition time before Plan B, a stupendous Plan B letter---and you're gonna rush it because of something like informing her of an appt??????

I guess it just goes to show that everyone has a brain-fart every once in a while <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

I gotta ask (maybe because I'm hungry right now).

what type of "grilling sauce" do you use? Is it store bought or homemade?? are you gonna give us the recipe if it is.?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by YetAgain:
<strong>...I guess it just goes to show that everyone has a brain-fart every once in a while <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thanks YA! I love you too!

OK, I know it's silly, but just 2 days ago we were discussing how to tell her about the apptmt, and everything EXCEPT putting it in the Plan B letter was vetoed as demanding, manipulative, ot worse. And so, since the apptmt is on Tuesday at 10AM, I decided to deliver the plan b lttr on sunday to give her time to think about it and not reject it out of hand (being probably angry at the letter) and besides, going to NC is going to be worse that what we're doing now, so I thoiught it'd give her yet another reason to talk to Steve...so I don't know what to do!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by going_crazy:
<strong>I gotta ask (maybe because I'm hungry right now).

what type of "grilling sauce" do you use? Is it store bought or homemade?? are you gonna give us the recipe if it is.?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sorry, GC, no secret recepies here...store bought, and I don't even remember what it's called...it was a new one and I think it was something like Montreal Steak....but in the past, we've used many different ones; hickory BBQ sauce, thick teriyaki, whatever you like.
To be honest with you, in latin america they ONLY put salt on the meat before and during grilling, and if it's good beef, it really doesn't need anything else on it! I've made them like that too; only salt...try it, you'll be surprised.

Hey SC, really cool shirt! You sure got her attention <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I really hope things work out for you. Your W doesn't realize how lucky she is. Hopefully soon she'll see the light!

2 afterthoughts lol I'm going to make your tenderloin tomorrow and I think you need to buy a heavy duty lock for your daughter's room. She is gorgeous!

TD,
Thank you for your kind thoughts. They mean a lot!

Hope the tenderloin is a success!!! LMK, OK?

Oh dear, my daughter...she is the owner of my heart, my greatest love and my greatest torment. I would gladly give my life for her today if it would ensure her happiness forever.

I understand what you're saying Spacy. I've similar feelings for my daughter too. She is five. I tell everybody that when Daughter will be 15 I probably will get a shotgun to keep all her admirers at bay.... she is so smart, I can hardly beleive it. at that age, she's already fluent in three and a half languages, reads books, has her own very strong opinions, bosses everyone around and it's already clear that she'll be gorgeous. and, oh yeah, she starts correcting my english pronounciation!! [she's at a posh private school in london where she gets taught real english, you know].

Hip Hip Hurray for all proud daddies (and their pampered sweet young ladies).

Nick, It's a conspiracy! They have us just where they want us...and mine IS 16...so you can imagine my suffering every weekend! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

But seriously, I need some help here:

OK, I have to let my W know about the appt w/Steve on Tuesday in a way that is not a demand, and hope she will call him.

I also have to deliver the Plan B letter and start No Contact.

Technically, I should start NC on Wed, a week after I left. But if I wait until then to tell her about the apptmt, it'll have passed, so that's out.

If I start NC beofre the week is over (say Sunday/Monday so I can tell her about the apptmt in time for her to use it, then I'm cutting the contact days short...

So, what to do? Email her about the apptmt and see what she says? Then give her the letter on Wed, the day after the apptmt?

Feedback please!

JMO...you and W are on a fairly loving note right now, so I don't think just letting her know about the appt. via email would set anything bad off. I think your idea of holding off for the Plan B letter until after would be fine.

Just had our 4yr olds pics taken today. Let me tell you about adorable. He already has the eye of a 3 yr old at daycare. She says she's going to marry him one day! (and she's about the cutest thing I've ever seen with wonderful parents, so we're all thumbs up at this point) Darn cute kids...