Hi Shattered,<BR> I can hear the pain in your post....and I know exactly how you feel. Sorry I didn't get right back to you , had to do some errands. <BR> In my case I found out Dec.98 that my H had been having a 11/2 yr. affair that was very intense, but he decided to stay and try to work things out . For 5mos. it was horrible, things were not right , he wanted to leave,never loved me, was nasty..... well, he was still seeing her. The one counselor told me that he never saw someone as "captivated " as he was with her...and to prepare for the worst(D).Finally I found hard proof that he was back seeing her and went to Plan B, cut off all contact (he had visitation with the kids every other weekend)...he begged to come back 2 weeks later. I REALLY thought that it would be much longer but I think since the affair was already 11/2 yr underway that might have helped. What really got to my H was the lack of contact with me ,he kept trying to contact me but I held firm....he said the separation was a wakeup call and realized that living with OW would not work out. He is back, we have moved out of state and things are up and down but definitely progressing. When I counseled with Steve H. he told me what to write in the Plan B letter and how to set it up....he gave me HOPE where no other counselor would. Hope this helps, how long has the affair been going on ? do you have kids? and have you talked to Steve H?...(I highly recommend him)......hang in there, you might have to wait it out but in my case everything that was written in Suviving An Affair(the 2nd example of the soulmates) was unbelievably similar(that book and Steve H. are the two things that saved my sanity) ......Lu
