Can't Sleep - my husband will do the same thing try to accommodate me in any way also - He is always like why did you take the kids I would have come and watched them etc??? It is like he wants me to depend on him to ease his guilt I believe. I also have the problem with him shutting off his feelings - I mean sometimes when I talk to him and he talks to me like I am a stranger and not someone he has been with for 19 yrs. and married to for 15 - I sometimes stop and ask him who the heck are you??? I don't think there feelings have stopped I just think that they are so screwed up that they don't even know where they are. That is the most frustrating part trying to figure out what happened and why we deserved this. I mean I kid you not we didn't even have fights we got along fine and then boom I was blind sided. I would say the email thing was to ease his guilt about what he is doing to you - my husband also tells me that he knows I can find someone better and that he won't mind when that happens - I mean he says it won't faze him if I get remarried and another man moves into his house with his kids - now I know that he is nuts. he also probably doesn't want you to be mad at him and he is thinking if he is nice then you will say oh yes maybe the kids should go with him - What did you decide are they going or not???

The short answer - his email indicates that he is still in the fog resp. doesnt even contemplate of patching things up with you.
The proof: his comment about "maybe I'm not good enough for you" and the like.... sounds very familiar! a classic line from my WW.

sort of an easy option out: makes you feel good, gives him a great excuse, and resonates somehow with his knowledge that he made a mistake.

MAW and Nick:
Fog, Fog and more Fog. We're going on six months separation date and no signs of anything. I keep looking for a reason to stop putting the house up for sale and have hope. Reality bites.
MAW-the kids are definitely with me. We already have a signed, legal parenting plan. I keep hoping his actions are derived from guilt but rather from hope or caring or creating the future but everything keeps pointing to guilt.
-CS

CS-

Ouch, what a week you have had! Big [[[[[[CS]]]]]] for you. Please don't be too hard on yourself for what you did. We are only human and cant be expected to be perfect all the time. You did a great Plan A for 3 weeks, you should be proud of that. If the last 3 weeks didn't have a positive effect on WH, well, then his head is in someplace else besides the fog. A lot of the things he has said to you are classic WS-babble, we have all heard the exact same thing many times before. Don't take any of it too seriously, he is only trying to put all the blame, pain and hurt on you, but you wont accept it, will you.

Maybe its time to take a break from all of this, not a Plan B, but just an emotional vacation from WH for a while. Let him have his pathetic life right now, let him wallow in his own pity, let him have all the time in the world to think about things. Except for issues involving finances or the children, make yourself unavailable to him for a while. Let him come to you (which I have a feeling he will do) and make the effort to initiate contact. It may not be time for Plan B yet, but a little break will give you an opportunity to clear your head, look at things from a different perspective and give you time to recharge your batteries so you can continue to do a good Plan A.

Your in control CS, you are calling all the shots here. Don't let WH and his selfish actions determine how you feel or act. Be proud of how far you have come and how much of a better person you are!

I must admit, threatening to tell his work about him and OW sure took some big cajoles! I'll bet he almost peed his pants when he heard you say that. So, if OW isn't such a big deal, why would he have been so defensive about it? And the line about OW not being the reason for him leaving- WHATEVER!