CS-
“Stress- the confusion caused when ones mind overrides the bodies basic desire to choke the life out of some @**hole who definitely needs it”
Pretty much sums up how you are feeling right now, isn’t it. I know how you are feeling, your looking for answers, signs, indications, anything to show you that things are going to work out between you and WH. And when you don’t see these things, you get confused, angry, bitter, all the negative emotions that are going to ultimately sabotage any chances you may have. I’m sure that WH can sense these emotions as well and it probably scares him and makes him back off. There are no guarantees, never have been, but one thing I know is that if you follow sound MB principles you are going to increase your ‘chances’ of a successful recovery 100+ times.
I’ve read your last few posts and I can really see the frustration and disappointment, its perfectly normal, but to be expected if you don’t take the attitude of “expect nothing and you wont be disappointed”. Your letting things you have absolutely no control of determine how you feel and how you are acting. That’s not fair to you, your kids, WH or anyone. I’m not deriding you here, I’m just trying to let you know that we have all gone through this exact same thing and it doesn’t work, there are better ways to live. Your not alone feeling this way, heck, I still get frustrated all the time with the lack of any significant progress (at least in my eyes) of WW and my relationship. But I have also realized that things are not going to go the way I want them too all the time, its Gods plan, Gods timing, not mine.
You gotta take it easy, CS, don’t push, don’t make it an all or nothing proposition, just sit back and take it as it comes. You love WH and I think he still loves you or he wouldn’t be doing some of the things he has done lately. But both of you are hurt, confused and unsure of how to handle things. I read that WH is making offers to get together, take them, just make sure that you are in the right frame of mind when you get together. Maybe try and initiate a little romance, touching his arm, holding hands and see where it goes, show him your soft side and see. Spend time together, alone or as a family, just being together without any R, M, OW or A talk, let it remind you and WH of how good it is to be with each other. At some time WH and you are going to have to talk about OW and the A, but right now may not be the best time. It will need to be done, but later and with a C involved.
Take Calis advice and burn that newsletter and then don’t think about it anymore. And, it think doing the separation stuff without face-to-face contact is fine, it will keep you focused on only that.
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