</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by maw64:
<strong>Going Crazy - I am sorry that you are having a bad night still - but unfortunately I am there with you - I don't know it really sucks when you let your mind run wild - I was trying the not talk to thing but you know it kind of got to me that he didn't care if he talked to me or not - you know these wayward spouses are really lost -</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">yes, they are lost, I don't even think they know it. The hardest part about not talking to them is the wondering, we always imagine the worst, I cant help but to, I hate it, I have to remember that worrying is a waste of my imagination but its still way too tough.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by maw64:
<strong>I wish you luck tomorrow morning - what do you want him to say - if he says go to Plan B are you going to do that??? I mean this situation really bites...Totally... I pray all of the time that I will just wake up and not care about him anymore - I do have bad days like tonite but they are getting few and further between but they still hurt - and the whole situation sometimes is just very unbearable as you can relate - Let me know what happens tomorrow with Steve....
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have no idea what he is going to say, no clue at all, I haven't started a plan B letter in a while, I have a few drafted ones around here somewhere that I wrote but never gave, I will update when I get off the phone with Steve.

((GC)) When I read what your H said I could not believe it, but at the same time it was stragely familiar - its the Alien V1.1 kicked in again.

I'm sure what he said hurt you to your very being. This kind of stuff is really nasty and pure babble. I wonder if he will remember he said this stuff to you, be prepared (one day) that he may block it out and you may not get an apology for it.

I agree with USH if I could get over there I'd take you diving in Mexico, then USH can buy us both Margaritas.

I'm glad you don't know where OW's parents live, IMHO I think you should keep away from trying to separate H & OW in this way, no matter how tempting it seems. It will backfire on you (personal experience talks here). I've often thought of sending OW brother our marriage certificate (she also dosen't know he's married), but what good would it do, he'd have justification for hating me then and I would regret it.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I don't care what he says, if he was that "in love" with the OW, he would have filed for a divorce a long time ago. He is confused and his brain simply does not know how to cope with his extreme guilt. This is something called cognitive dissonance -- when somebody has to rationalize things in their head because they have done something so wrong that the cannot cope with what they've done </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">USH thank you for putting a name to this. I have wanted to understand the psychology behind this behaviour, now I have a place to start looking.

She's right, if they want to leave, why aren't they gone yet?

Don;t do housecleaning this weekend (saw your both on USH thread), go out and treat yourself to a massage or something - sell some of his DVD's to pay for it.

Going Crazy - Ok so how did it go ??? Was your session with Steve helpful - What is the game plan?? Are you feeling better today??? I am thinking about you !! I hope you are feeling better physically as well as mentally.... Looking forward to the update..

Going crazy,
How did things go with your SH session?
Thinking of you.
KK

GC -- Just checking in to see how you are doing. My WH didn't call last night. He supposedly had dinner with a friend of our's from graduate school at 6:30 -- must have been some dinner since he didn't call like he usually does at 10:00 or 10:30 p.m. My gut tells me he was getting together with OW to talk -- he just can't seem to give that up. It always seems to happen just as things seem to be improving with us. He always has to "check in one more time" with her. Yuck. I hate to be so suspicious and I should give him the benefit of the doubt, but....

How was your call with Steve?

Thinking of you.

thanks everyone for your concerns!! I could not sleep well last night, went back to bed after my appt with Steve, getting ready to post my update in a new thread

GC, thinking of you, hoping Steve helped you some, and wishing I could knock some sense into that H of yours!

It would be better if you stayed in the same thread longer, like Seahorse, Forgiver and the others.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by relate:
<strong>It would be better if you stayed in the same thread longer, like Seahorse, Forgiver and the others.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Relate: thanks, sometimes an important update seems to get "lost in the thread" so I started a new one

here's a link to the new thread, after my meeting with Steve this morning to see if I needed to go to Plan B or not:

Definite Fog Babble, Back to Plan A