Pepper, Tossedwave, Replaced, Hanora, Rosebrook, Tjaa, and other fellow fossils,
First, Hugs to all of you. Thanks for your empathy and kind responses. I take all of your words to heart….
In response to Pepper: I have never met the OW. She is married, but I don’t know if her H knows of the A (she was engaged to her current H, but not married at the time. She married a few years after the A and it is amazing to me that the EA continued throughout her engagement, wedding, and “honeymoon” years). My H has not absolutely refused MC, but neither have I absolutely insisted on it. You’re right…it’s the epitome of conflict avoidance. In my heart I feel that we are over our heads in trying to make it through this by ourselves and that MC would be the best course for us now. We do seem to be making progress and breaking new ground in honesty and openness and respect for each others’ feelings, but there are some very deep hurts (even beyond the A and years of lies) that must be explored and processed. Those who have encouraged MC are right on…and I know it.
Replaced, TW, Hanora, Rosebrook, and others: My heart goes out to you when I read about the long, painful, struggles many of you have endured and the incredible efforts you have made to try to save your M’s. Sometimes I think that making the decision to leave must take courage far beyond that which it takes to stay and fight. But whether you have made the decision to leave, are on the fence, or are in the thick of the battle, I think you are all incredible and I respect you immensely.
For me, for now, the battle goes on.
