Pepper:

Yep. The fire really broke our hearts. Made us pretty much forget about 9/11. But then 1/18 made ME forget about 10/19! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Hey 2long…..come 2confused….come 2angry…..come 2sorry….come 2long,

If you’re looking for gut feelings, I’d have to vote with the Spaceman and say her angry outburst was a good sign and here’s why…..

Let’s assume worst case scenario and say they are still emailing.

You know she wasn’t angry at you or you’d have felt it.

Since the outburst happened “just after” a warm moment between the two of you, I’d guess it was related to the love she had just been feeling for you. Because at this time, those feelings would come with feelings of anger with herself over the damage she’s done, the hurt she’s caused you and "possibly" her frustration with her weakness (inability to stop emailing).

Either way (email or no email), I believe this demonstrated a strong blow in your favor.

Then you were keen enough to get another jab in, in your favor, by phoning her and wishing her a happy rest of the day. In essence what you said to her was "I saw what you did today and I still love you". 2smart.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">2long said.....So, it seems all 2 likely that she's simply assuming that she can keep up this secret second life of hers because we're getting along so well and I won't care.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If this was the case, she’d be the happiest woman going right now. Just the fact that she’s not seems to demonstrate this not to be the case.

Again, that’s just my 2 cents.

As for you, Mr. Usually 2funny, you handled things perfectly. You stayed controlled with her and then came here to vent about YOUR feelings.

Bottom line….it looks to me like you’re fight the battle and winning the war…without getting your hands dirty.

I guess that means you can never be 2patient. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

E_C

<small>[ September 07, 2002, 06:36 AM: Message edited by: Extremely_confused ]</small>

EC:

Don't have 2much time this am, but I will try 2post later.

Bottom line, I think you're right. And I'll talk more about it later! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Anyway:

When I got home last evening, W was dozing in our room. I went in, and noticed she was sobbing a little. I asked what was wrong, and she said she was tired. The whole job she's been doing has been very exhausting for a long time now, and problems with other people and getting lab space with the higher ups has been a pain lately, so that's probably true.

But I still wonder if the "R" with Rat Meat has anything 2 do with her mood. She's been very nice 2 me, though, and I of course am being totally non-LBing with her. So we had a nice evening together, a good night's sleep and worked in the yard today. Got a counter offer on that house we're trying 2 buy, and will probably accept it and start escrow first thing Monday.

So, yeah. Stuff IS gettin' better. Not resolved, but if I keep this Ulove plan A stuff up much longer, what "choices" will my W have? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

2dles!

<small>[ September 07, 2002, 10:00 PM: Message edited by: 2long ]</small>

dear 2long-its been awhile since i posted anything here. you sound sooo much better than the last time . i am praying for you--hang in there.

Here's a theory ...

W might be in withdrawl <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> ..... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hug that woman .... bring her flowers (not the large ostentatious kind, but a small and sweet mixed spring flower bouquet) .... buy her a teddy bear .... leave her little notes ..... massage her feet ..... treat her with ultimate kindness ..... what have you got to lose by playing the prince???

DO NOT LET THE CRYING HURT YOUR FEELINGS !!!!!!!!!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Pep <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Pep:

Since the weather has cooled quite a bit, it was possible 2 "spoon" this am without melting. So, I hugged my W for a good couple hours. No "pressure" for SF or anything, which she actually mentioned in a nice way. She said a lot of other nice things about how it was comfy, closeness, that we could forget about the worries of the day, that kind of thing. All that without me trying 2 probe her for information about anything. So I'm wondering if she may be starting 2 feel safe enough 2 open up 2 me, by starting with relatively "harmless" stuff.

I told her ILY yesterday, but she didn't respond except 2 squeeze my hand, so I'm not going 2 pressure her 2 say that.

We're going 2 work on our house 2day, try 2 "reconnect" with it by doing something simple like remove some '60s bathroom kludgy stuff so that we can make a more Victorian style bathroom 2 move back 2.

Plus, we have 2 sign the seller's counter offer on that house. I checked around, and there doesn't seem 2 be any possible way we could lose out on this deal. Even if we have 2 sell it again in 6 months or a year, just cleaning it up and redoing the kitchen and bathrooms could make it worth another $100K. We work well on projects like this 2gether (something that Rat Meat could NEVER do), so I'm looking forward 2 it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

No, I don't let the crying hurt my feelings. The prozac helps, 2! I am looking at this with guarded optimism. I don't think I'll ever be so optimistic as 2 be susceptible 2 a major disappointment like in the past, ever again. But being PESSIMISTIC gets me nowhere, so I'm focusing on the good stuff. Good stuff with HER and good stuff with my family and my hobbies.

Flowers have always been a problem with us! We have an amazing garden, largely due 2 her and her mom's green thumbs. When she was away in the field and I went up 2 visit her, I'd always bring some flowers from the garden with me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

We have watched a couple of these amazing sunsets we've been getting lately together. Nice stuff. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ September 09, 2002, 10:21 AM: Message edited by: 2long ]</small>

nikko:

Thank you! I'm feeling better these days!

OK ... no flowers .... how about a surprise picnic ??? Tell her "You're NOT fixing dinner tonight. I am taking you OUT for dinner and it's a surprise." ... Then, go to Gelson's deli ... and load up with delicious goodies, wine, candles, a soft blanket ..... ( ?? some DEET bug-spray ?? to ward off *West Nile Virus* mosquitoes???) ... and put the goodies in the trunk ... and then drive somewhere pretty for a romantic picnic.

HEY! I really like this idea! I just might steal it and do it myself! LOL! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Isn't this weather just to die for? We're going on so many evening walks lately ... so enjoyable.

PepperProzacPrincess <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

OR .... depending on the slope ... picnic on your roof!

Pep <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Pep:

I thought of that! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> It's 20ft square and flat on top.

Trouble is, the roofers have a tarp covering the access hatch, so we can't get up there until they finish the roof. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Oh well, there are other places around the yard for a barbecue or picnic among all them flowers and hummingbirds!

Was a great weekend. Yes2rday, we finished sawing up a Pepper Tree limb (sorry, Pep!) that I had 2 cut down Sa2rday. Next, we tore out drywall dividing the original bathroom in 2. Was very goofy the way it had been done. That was fun, it wan't hot in the house, so comfy (if dusty!). When we got done with that, it was late afternoon, so W went 2 cook some 2be steaks for dinner (we decided 2 eat what was in the fridge and not have 2 run 2 the store). And I finished gluing up that old dresser in the garage. Thing's really tight now! Now all I have 2 do is glue in some new guide blocks for the drawers and replace the handles that are missing.

W kept remarking about how nice the weekend was. Remember, she asked me specifically if we could work on the house 2gether. That was the best thing we did all weekend. Good therapy stuff. She's being very close, 2, and that's nice. She also was NOT looking forward 2 going in2 work 2day. Her report is writ, but finishing touches are continuing. I have no idea whether she's emailing Rat Meat directly about anything, but the way things have gone this weekend, I'm betting I won't have 2 worry about him much anymore. I hope so, but I'll stay on my guard (internally, that is), and I still have options if we don't work out. But working WITH my W right now on our R is what's in order. Still, I'm not pushing NC. I think it will come, even2ally.

A very pleasant change in our daily lives. I can also get some WORK done this week.

Thanks, MBers, for your valuable support!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Can I hijack your thread?

My son had a melt down last night. He has been unable to go to sleep without an hour of his head telling him to check and re-check and re-check "things". He has to check the fridge, to make sure the cats aren't in there. (He KNOWS they are not in there, but his brain will not be quiet until he checks on these "things". He has to check his closet "five times" before he can let that one go. He goes and makes sure all the windows are locked (five times). Finally, he got so upset with himself ... he tore apart his room! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Well ... I am thankful it was just his room, and not his body. Poor kid, he's been so successful for months now .... I have to talk to his shrink today.

Pepper <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

PS....
I need a hug please.

Hi 2long. Just wanted to check in on you today and see how you were doing. It's so good to see things are looking up. You have done wonderfully. I'm glad things are picking up nicely for you. My best to you always. Take care, and have a wonderful week.

pepperband...

here's a hug for you...

(((((pepperband)))))

oaktown...

Wow, pepper!

I don't know your son's his2ry. I certainly will send cubic tons of cyberhugs your way!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

(((((((((((((((((((Pepper)))))))))))))))))))))!

Prin:

Thanques!!!

I hope it continues 2 get better. We'll see!

<small>[ September 09, 2002, 06:25 PM: Message edited by: 2long ]</small>

Well it looks like we're going 2 be homeowners again! for the 3rd time! (contemporaneously, that is!). Seller signed our offer.

Looks like ol' 2long won't be wanting for projects anytime soon! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Pepperband:
<strong>PS....
I need a hug please.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">{{{{{{{{{{Pep}}}}}}}}}}