g_b, depending on what was on that tape, it could be in violation of Federal law if it was sent through the U.S. Mail to you. Keep the packaging it was sent in as well. Good luck, man.

ST

GB.

What do you mean by saying: "I won't be back"?

L.

I am so sorry to hear your story. I stumbled across emails from OW to my H that he thought he'd deleted from his computer. It was 6 months after the A ended, but just reading the words passing between them was like a searing knife in my heart. I cannot imagine the pain I would feel if I had seen images.

I agree with everyone - please don't destroy the tape. I am new to this board so am not sure about your whole story. If there's a divorce and if custody of children will be at issue, this tape will become a major issue because it goes to character of the WS for suitability to be custodial parent. You need to turn it over to your attorney for safekeeping. I'm an attorney, but don't do family law, so don't rely on what I say here. You need to get an attorney. You will probably both pay for half of the divorce. There is usually some advantage to being the petitioner (the one who files the divorce).

I don't know what state you're in, but you probably don't need to show fault for divorce. You do need to show character for custody issues.

I hope you find some healthy way to ease your pain. I am still struggling with the anger and pain at 10 months after d-day. Good luck.

imho,

I usually do not like to judge another person...
Fog or no fog, there is not any justification for that kind of cruel behavior. Infidelity under certain circumstances is one thing but this kind of intentional abuse is another.

Time to move on - she is not someone who you can take pride in calling her your wife.

Take care g.b.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Sad Tiger:
<strong>g_b, depending on what was on that tape, it could be in violation of Federal law if it was sent through the U.S. Mail to you. Keep the packaging it was sent in as well. Good luck, man.

ST</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I wholeheartedly agree with Sad Tiger.

If they have indeed violated federal law, they may go to prison and then you would have what is called poetic justice.

...urban legend, that one...

Mike, hang in there, mon! Get through this.

You're going to be OK.

Mike - I am so sorry for the pain you must be feeling right now!!! I can not believe how cruel some people can be!!! You do NOT deserve this... no one does! I agree with all the others posts... KEEP THE TAPE!!! Do not watch it ever again, but it may come in handy... How about sending a copy to the OW's W??? (is he married? and does she know about the A?)

Please stay strong!!! And let us all know how you are doing!

You are in my prayers!

-mcnyh

Please do not send a copy to OM's W. She doesn't deserve to see it anymore than you did.

If OM is getting a divorce from his W, you can find out who his wife's attorney is. Anyone can go to the courthouse and get a copy of the divorce petition. It is a public record. If he filed the divorce, he's the petitioner and his W would be the respondant. Her attorney will have filed an Answer to the Complaint. Her attorney's name and office/contact information must be on that answer.

Contact her attorney directly and explain who you are and what you have. The tape may be extremely helpful to the W is getting a good settlement, custody of the children and so on.

In this way, OM's wife will have been helped by the tape, but she would not have been subjected to the cruelty of having seen it or knowing anything specific about what is on the tape. Her attorney will have to view it of course, but the W will not have to see what is on it to bring it into court.

Hope this helps put that evil tape to some positive use for someone. Good luck.

I got tears in MY eyes reading this! SO SORRY to hear about it. The low that some people stoop to never ceases to amaze me!
I agree with everyone hear about that tape. Don't destroy it! I'm sure that having it can bring you some sort of justice, either Federally or locally. Perhaps it can be the key to W paying for EVERYTHING re: divorce. Not sure what your states laws are but certainly worth it to look into it. No it can't bring your wife back, and I'm sure you'd gladly do anything to go back a few months/years to make sure you never get that tape!
But like everyone says, WORK ON YOU!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Now is the time to give you the gift of yourself. Wholeheartedly.
You will be in our prayers. Please don't go away from here. This is the best place I can think of to talk to folks who just KNOW what you are feeling. You will be worried about and missed..

GB,
Where are you? You haven't posted since Friday night. Was wondering how you're doing. Are you okay???