HP,

Don't beat yourself up. You made an attempt and it didn't work out THIS TIME.

Do something nice for yourself. Go get your nails done or your hair styled or something.

I think that the next time you call Hubby for an invite, try to be causal. If he says "no" then say okay, maybe next time.

You started out with an expectation that you were going to be turned down by saying: "maybe I'm going "out on a limb" here". Next time, talk to him as if you are CONFIDENT that he will say yes.

EX:
Hi XH,
Since the kids are out of town, I had an idea that we could go out to ...... I think it would be fun to sit and chat. Here he says yes or no.
If he says no then say:
"Well, I'm sorry that you can't make it. I hope that you have fun with ......" and MEAN IT!

This will open the door for the future. He will learn that it is okay to say no because you aren't attaching an expectation to it. Also it might upset him if you seem to be unaffected by his participation in your plans.

Hopefully this lifted your spirits.
Remeber that you always have KILY thinking about you when you feel all alone.

Bye.

Coffeeman,
Thanks for the male input! I've never asked a man 'out' before, and I certainly had never planned on it. I've never pursued a man at all in my life. I could see as I posted here that I did appear rather desperate. I knew instinctively that I should have just asked him to join me for breakfast, but I guess I didn't listen to my instincts.

So you are saying, Coffeeman, that I should quickly hang up after his 'no' and not carry on like I haven't been hit between the eyes? Kily mentioned that it might be good for him to feel I'm not upset about his disinterest in going out with me, sounds like you agree. I will try that, when I get the nerve to do this again. In my life, I never thought I'd be pursuing a man. Oh well, I certainly never thought I'd mess up my life this way, either.

Kily,
Thanks for your thoughts, too.

Yes, I will do something nice for myself this weekend. I had just thought of the hair 'thingy' as I was moving my sprinklers around my yard this morning.

I realized too last night that I shouldn't have said the 'going out on a limb'. It was like expecting a 'no'. I knew it was dumb to say, but I said it just the same. Thanks for the little script you gave me, I will truly have to practice it. I've found that in my profession it helps to have 'bottled' responses, so I guess a few of them in personal life won't hurt me either. It just comes so hard for me, I am very spontaneous.

I like too your idea that it might be better if he sees I'm unaffected by his lack of participation in my plans. I will have to try this out, honestly, how to sound unaffected.

Thanks for your replies. It is truly appreciated.
Back to yardwork now!

H_P

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Coffeeman,
Thanks for the male input! I've never asked a man 'out' before, and I certainly had never planned on it. I've never pursued a man at all in my life. I could see as I posted here that I did appear rather desperate. I knew instinctively that I should have just asked him to join me for breakfast, but I guess I didn't listen to my instincts.

So you are saying, Coffeeman, that I should quickly hang up after his 'no' and not carry on like I haven't been hit between the eyes? Kily mentioned that it might be good for him to feel I'm not upset about his disinterest in going out with me, sounds like you agree. I will try that, when I get the nerve to do this again. In my life, I never thought I'd be pursuing a man. Oh well, I certainly never thought I'd mess up my life this way, either.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">H_P

No I'm not saying to quickly hang up. Remember I said that after you asked him out for breakfast,and he said no, that you could have asked him then if he would like for you to get him an order of Belgian waffles and drop it off at his place afterwards. If he still said no then end the conversation 'well maybe another time, ok?' wait a few seconds for a response from him and then say 'bye'.

And don't sell yourself short H_P, you have more guts and nerve than you beleive. Just wait a week or two before asking him out.

HP,

So you have never pursued a man before? Well, I think you need to realize that being the initator as Kily and Coffeeman has said is difficult. You do get shot down, the problem is to understand that you went down in flames because of bad timing: the ball game is on, or because someone doesn't want to be with you.

You made a comment I thought I would expound on and get your views. </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Maybe some day he'll decide it's worth it, to learn more about what happened. Then again, it seems he is just done with me. After a 28+ year R and an almost 21 year M, I just can't believe it. I remain hopeful that someday he'll forgive me and our family can be reunited. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Just remember he couldn't believe it either. Also recall some basic facts. You were truely only married almost 17 years, your affair took up the last four. That means depending on how you do the math, that your affair lasted 1/4 as long as you were married or 1/5 as long as you were married. So he is used to being without you now you haven't been with him for a long time now.

With these data in mind, consider the following: he doesn't seem to be dating anyone either. He isn't out running around, he is home watching the ball game. My guess is that he is sufficiently damaged that he doesn't really trust or know what to do around women right now. So you calling is really pulling him out of his comfort zone.

Now if you are going to ask someone something that will require some sacrifice (pulling him out of his comfort zone), then you need to understand something that I learned years ago when dealing with the institutions in D.C. NEVER ASK A QUESTION WHERE THE SIMPLE ANSWER IS NO.

Instead of would you like to go get coffee, try "can you give me a 3 good reasons why we shouldn't go out and have coffee tonight? I can give you a bunch why you should." <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Do you see my drift? You need to reverse things so that the easy answer is the affirmative, not the negative. But, as Kily said the answer was NO this time. If you want this don't give up.
Yes, I think you and you alone are going to have to pursue this, because your H seems to be in no hurry to enter another relationship of any kind. He may never again, that is possible, but I suspect he will heal.

Most people I have read about or known that remarried, did so after several years. I suspect there was healing that needed to take place and a developing confidence that the person initially left behind wasn't just the fall back person when all else failed.

So hang in there HP. Nothing wrong in asking. I also think that in a few months it would be worthwhile to let selected relatives know that you deeply regret what has happened and that your goal is to reunite with your H. In someways it puts pressure on him and he may feel he is in the catbird seat. But sometimes hearing affirmations from other people and hopefully their approval often removes the stigma that he failed as an H and that you had been looking for someone better.

THis is tough stuff, but I think you can handle it. Just take your time, build up your life and enjoy it, and do your best to keep H in contact with your life.

God Bless,

JL

<small>[ October 12, 2002, 03:25 PM: Message edited by: Just Learning ]</small>

Coffeeman- Thanks for the input ! Yes, I see what you mean about not hanging up the phone too fast. Thanks for the clarification. I do have nerve, yes. I will try again in 3 weeks or so, I suppose. It sure is hard, indeed.

JL- Thanks for your response, I really appreciate your insight.

Okay, yes, maybe my timing was bad in asking him out for coffee AND breakfast this time. However, I do think that he simply doesn't wish to be with me too much at this point. Understandable.

Yes, your math is correct. I was being selfish and giving it a 21:4 ratio, but you are correct in saying the marriage vs non-marriage ratio is indeed 17:4. He couldn't believe it, either. You are so right--thanks for pointing it out. I need that!

Right again, he told me directly that he feels 'awkward' when we're together. No comfort zone with me... You said,

Now if you are going to ask someone something that will require some sacrifice...then you need to understand something that I learned years ago when dealing with the institutions in D.C. NEVER ASK A QUESTION WHERE THE SIMPLE ANSWER IS NO.

What an interesting idea. I have no experience in this sort of thing. I will apply this in my professional life, too! I actually awakened during the night to think of your suggestion at asking exH the question "can you give me 3 good reasons why we shouldn't go out and have coffee tonight?"

I'm not trying to be a negative one, but I can imagine his answers---"I am happy sitting here watching T.V.", "I get nervous when we're together" and "I don't think it's a good idea."
So, I'll have to answer him with three good reasons. Sounds like a good plan, but a new one for me, for sure! I will have to have my good reasons solidly in mind. At this point I can't think of any reasons he would agree with or even care to hear. Tough one! It's like I am a monster to him, that's truly how I think he views me.

Yes, you're right. It might take years to remarry! He may think that he is just the 'fall back' person indeed. I don't feel that way at all, but I can see where he might see it as such.

Some relatives know how I feel already, but I don't know if they will be helpful or not. I know that one of them (the one my EX is closest with) feels that having an A in the first place indicates a horrible, awful marriage. (Naturally, this person is under 30 and said this after a four year marriage) They already know how much I deeply regret things, but the person also told me they saw my desire to return to him as 'rebound'. I said that 'rebound' would be me looking for someone new, not returning to my spouse after what I see in part as my MLC. But everyone is entitled to their own opinion. In time perhaps these well meaning relatives (who entertain ExH regularly) may see and believe that I am steadfast and firm in my expressions of love for my ExH. I can see where at this point they see it as romantic 'fluff' for the past, after the A. One of them said to me,(SIL),"Why in the world would you want to reconcile with someone who doesn't want to communicate with you?" My response was , "Yes, he is a quiet person, but he did communicate with me in HIS WAY when things were good between us, and I still love him, AND we share children. He's a wonderful,kind, man- and I blew it." The person who said this (SIL) has divorced parents who divorced when she was 3, so maybe she doesn't see the importance of marriage, really--or she wants others to share the same legacy in their family. I really don't know, I always try to consider the source, so to speak.

Thanks for the encouragement. I appreciate it , and yes, I am in the process of building my life and still trying to maintain some sort of contact with ExH. I know that it's going to be a long journey.

I think it's hard at times to read here on MB about how many BS's are willing to forgive , and try again--and mine is so seemingly unwilling. But, that's something I created.

Take care,
H_P

H_P,

You said </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Tough one! It's like I am a monster to him, that's truly how I think he views me. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I doubt that is true at all. I suspect that he is afraid of you and has no confidence in himself. Now he may have truely reached a state where he doesn't care, but I suspect and actually hope that he has some anger and deep feelings left for you.

As for how other BS's view things here, I do think your situation is bit unique, but more important you feelings are pretty normal. Just remember, you have only been rid of OM for a few months. Your H unlike most BS's here had to deal with this for 4 years. You see very very few BS's that have any interest in staying in a marriage after 4 years of a spouse having an affair.

I suspect very early on if he had known the affair was going on he might have fought for you. But, I will be honest if I hadn't come to this site and learned what I learned, if my W had an affair I would have moved on. I don't NEED to be married, and if she didn't want to be with me I would have been gone. Now, I would view it a bit differently, because I wouldn't necessarily have viewed the A as a rejection of me, but my W wanting something else in her life, that I might have been able to provide. I would have tried.

My point is that your situation is beyond most of them here with regards to time. So it requires that first and foremost you gradually reestablish contact with your H, and then gradually begin to become his friend again. After that the thought is to perhaps remarry if it is something you both want.

So don't despair, there is hope. The key is to find out what his needs are and to start to see if you can gradually meet them. You might be well advised to take the ENQ and answer them for him as best you can.

Hang in there HP.

God Bless,

JL

another suggestion. I don't know if this is possible. Try to get tickets to something he might enjoy- a football game? a concert? Call and say, I have 2 tickets to X. Would you like to go with me? maybe add, I think it would be fun, but if you're busy I can ask (female friend). Then let him say yes or no, I'm busy. If you get a no, say Oh, too bad, maybe another time.

He said you're not crazy for still hoping. But there is alot of damage to repair.

I don't know about the "give me 3 reasons" suggestion. It sounds a little pushy. Also I think it is better to find activities where you don't have to stare at each other making conversation, where his quietness puts him at a disadvantage. You need to find events where you can share the experience of going to the event, and reacting to it/discussing it afterwards. Also try to pull him into some kid events if you can.

Never push, and take any no's lightheartedly. Just keep asking him and including him until he says point blank not to invite him anymore.

JL and Espoir, Thanks for your responses. I appreciate it so very much.

You're right, JL, this was a long A. Separation was over two years ago now, and ExH has been alone now a long time. I don't think he even knows the full length of the A, he's never asked the timeline. HOwever, I'm sure he remembers when I first met OM online. ExH has never been one to think much about years, dates, but I am sure this sticks in his mind. It did last a long time, but it would have been over so much sooner if OM had lived local. The long distance thing made it much more 'romantic' and unreal. Crazy, yes, but true. My big sadness is that ExH didn't seem to much care when he did find out about OM. Well, better said, he didn't say much to me about it. I guess that is normal for some BS's , too.

He doesn't even want to look at this site, nor did he last spring when I mentioned it to him. HE did look once, and he said it was 'stupid', and 'made no sense'. Please remember, I did talk to him of reconciliation right after DDay. He just wanted nothing to do with it, just like now. I read here where many do want to try after DDay. That's all I am saying, a vent, yes...that he didn't seem to want to give it a try. (By then, yes, the A was a few years old, but OM was long distance, it was all so dumb!)

Thanks for the words of hope. I truly would like to think there is, but then again it seems like there's no chance. He doesn't seem to seek me out at all. I did call him the other night about one of our children. He did call back a while later to tell me more about that situation, and tell me his thoughts on it. That was good, but it just seems he doesn't need me or the kids much at all. It's like he's in a shell, alone, and happy that way.

I thank you too for the ENQ suggestion. I will do that soon. He and I are quite different in needs, I know that. Can be worked with though, yes.

Espoir,
Thanks for the sporting event idea. Good one! Much better than to sit there and stare over coffee--for him, any way.

I agree, I won't push him--and I will take no's lightly. Good idea--keep asking him until he says not to do so anymore.

I really have been down about it the past few days, but I realize this is the price I'm paying for my mistake. I just wish the man could forgive me, but it doesn't seem like he'll be ready for that in a long time, if ever. In the meantime, life goes on, and I really don't like living without his love. I truly blew it!

He even got upset when I mentioned that now we have similiar schedules and more income. We struggled financially much of our marriage, but I was thrilled to be a SAHM. I never worked full time while we were together after having kids, except for 3 weeks before separating. He said, "Now that I make more money, you want me."
I told him , "No, I mean that I now have a career, and that I make money, too." I also told him that if he wanted to work less, and go to school, I'd support him--just as he had generously done for me. Oh well, nothing seems to help at this point. It is like talking to a brick wall, and I made the wall.

Enough spewing out here,

Thanks for your help,
H_P

H_P,

If there is anything I have learned about my own situation it is that nothing is hopeless if you believe in it. You're going through a slump. I went through this a few weeks back and I realized that it was just another form of self-punishment. Stop beating yourself up for what you've done. Start BEING who you are. XH is responding to you but he will do so only on his time frame.

From the things that you have written about your husband, I get the impression that he has never been the type of person that is very "open" with his feelings. Try to keep this in mind when you are feeling low. I think that his comment about wanting him now that he makes more money is very telling about where he is at right now. You rubbed as nerve with him and he is questioning your motives for wanting to return to him. He is being very subtle and non-committal because he is fearful of returning to the "old" relationship. His anger or "upset"-ness is a natural reaction, so is the distance thing.

Just keep believing and stay committed. Keep working on loving yourself regardless of what transpires between the two of you. You are only seeing what is on the surface. Be patient.

I'll check in with you later.

HUGS.....

Hi Kily,
Thanks for your encouragement! I guess I have been self-punishing. Others have told me that, too. (one of my siblings has, and a close friend) I guess I just have to believe in NOT doing it, and in moving on towards a more positive way of looking at life.

YOu're right about XH. Never been open at all with his feelings. Also always kind of a procrastinator, doesn't like to 'attack' issues right away. Thanks for your thoughts on his feelings, I just can't believe he likes our life this way. You're correct, it will take TIME.

Thanks too for reminding me that I do need to think of 'working' on myself. For one thing, I used to love to exercise. I need to get back into that, in my 'spare' time. LOL....Also, I need to not think about the situation so much. It is really tearing me apart when I think of it too much.

Thanks for your support,

I will check now and see if you have an update today...

H_P

Thanks to all of you who have helped me here with your past postings and wisdom. This site has truly been a blessing.

I really have nothing 'new' to say, except that I see no positive changes in my exH as far as his feelings for me. He doesn't even look me in the eyes now when he picks up the children.

He asked me via email about Thanksgiving plans, sharing of children. It seems that obviously he sees no chance of any sort of 'reconciliation' attempt before then, or any sort of sharing of the holiday.

I haven't responded to the email yet, but I wanted to say something like this:
"Yes, your plans as suggested sound fine. My hope is that someday soon we will again be together on holidays. Please let me know when you are ready to consider it."

Is that too much? Too sappy? Should I just say nothing at all about that sort of thing...??

This man was my best friend for years, and now I feel like I can't even be 'me'. It's kind of pathetic, isn't it?

I also heard a song played at our wedding, today. I halfway wanted to share those lyrics with him, but that seemed super over-the-top. The lyrics speak rather prophetically of love growing out of the depths of winter, like a rose.
As I heard them on the radio today, I kind of was amazed that they now were more applicable than they were when we married. ("The Rose", Bette Midler sang it...)

I know this is a bit rambling, it's quite late now. Please, dear MB friends--any thoughts are appreciated.

By the way, I did have a slight 'epiphany' this week. I realized that I am a nice person, yes--flawed--but that I do have value as a human being, still. I then realized that I am deserving, still, of love. Finally, I realized that if my exH doesn't think so anymore, than perhaps he never loved me too much in the first place. He never once, in the past 18 months of me asking him for a 'chance', has never agreed to try. He just keeps saying he needs more time, although I haven't asked him now in quite a while. He then always adds, "But there's no guarantee, I may never want to try again with you." He's been saying that now for a long time. Is that too radical a thought, to feel he never loved me too much? So many BS's here are willing to forgive, and save their marriage and families. Then, I realized--that if he could never love me again, then I am better off alone and available to be loved by someone who believes in me, and sees me as the kind, caring person I am. Yes, I blew it big time, but I still am a decent human being with a lot of love and kindness to give.

Thanks for letting me share that here!
H_P

Hi H_P,

Don't have much advice on the e-mail. It might be too much. Have others advised you to stop the R talk. I have completely stopped R talk with my H. Since then I notice it is easier to talk to him. He does not get defensive. When he gets mad or rants, I just ignore it. Of course I don't have to see him. That would be HARD.

I know that strange feeling of not being able to "BE YOURSELF" Espoir gave me some great advice to act 'as if' my H is someone I am interested in, someone I might like to date and act as such. Makes you think along different lines. I am trying to act like the ME who attracted my H in the first place. I lost some of that between kids, bills, life in general. I can see where I became less attractive.

The holidays will be hard, on both of you. Don't let him fool you. Unless he is a totally heartless man. And if he is you don't want him back. Everybody is telling me the holidays will be a little wake up to my H. That if he has to spend them alone it is his consequence. Now I understand our situation is backwards, but your H is deciding not to include you. Remember you can't force him to do anything.

I did read in another post that it is a disrespectful judgment on our parts to try to put thoughts in the other persons head. Like "Oh, I know he is thinking this or that." I never thought of it that way. I do think it is a good sign that your H has never come out and told you NEVER. I get a feeling, and this is just MHO that he is trying to make you "PAY" for what you did. A very human reaction. Maybe he like the WS on this site, needs to see that you are moving forward to wake him up. He has got you right where he wants you now. He is aloof and you are groveling. Kind of a reverse cake-eater. I know the guilt you feel compounds everything you do. This is a hard thing.

Take care of yourself and be happy.

Sharon

Hi H_P

I am glad that you have realised you are not a bad person and that you have plenty to give someone - hopefully your XH. Me, I still struggle with what I did, and find it quite disabling to me as an individual, let alone in my M to have these daily negative thoughts about myself. If you have come through this, good for you. I'm going to have to keep working on this.

I don't think what you are feeling about your XH is abnormal, especially given your revelation that you're not such a bad person, but just one that made a foolish and big mistake. I think that, combined with the fact that you are trying and have been trying everything within your power to show your H how sorry you are and how you would like to make amends, and feeling that there is little or no return makes you cross and upset with him - well, he couldn't really have loved me enough in the first place if he can't see how hard I'm trying and how I've changed. But the reality is, for 4 years you had an A, and IMHO, he just can't let go of that yet and open up to you and perhaps start to trust you again. My H told me at the weekend, he knows that I wouldn't have another A, but I have let him down and "abandoned" him, how does he know that I won't let him down in another way? Give yourself time though, and keep working on positive actions.

I don't know about the e-mail - given that your H appears to keep his emotions close to his chest, this may be too much for him - your hope for the future. Would it be completely out of the question to ask him directly whether you and your family could spend Thanksgiving (or lunch) together? Why not a direct approach, "Oh, I was just thinking, could we all have lunch together, the kids would love it, and I know I'd enjoy that too" sort of thing? Obviously, you would have to be prepared for him to say no, but if you don't ask him, you'll never know. What else may he do? Maybe I'm completely off track here, and others would disagree, but isn't it worth a try?

Anyay, as ever, I really feel I don't know much about anything, but keep strong and I wish you well.

Lisa

H_P,

I think if you want to talk to him about things do so, just do not have any expectations. Also remember while you think you have been trying for 18 months, the OM has been out of your life only 3 months. That is where your exH's timeline is set, 3 months; just Aug, Sept., Oct.

Further, he has had 4 years to bury his love of you very deeply so as to releave the pain. My take on this is that if he didn't love you he wouldn't have trouble being around you or looking you in the eyes. I just think you are seeing a man that loved, trusted, and depended on you protecting himself.

You have mentioned that he isn't a very talkive sort, and not the most socialable person. If that is so, and you are indeed talkative, and social then it is very likely that he was more dependent on you than you realize. Thus, the reluctance to be around you.

HP, patience is what is required. Let me ask you a few questions. What have you been doing for holidays: Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter for the past 4 years? How about last year?

My reason for asking is that depending on what each of you did, you might get a clue as to how to approach these holidays this year.

Finally, I will go back to his family again. Do you talk with them? Do you tell them of your remorse? Do you tell them of your hopes? My guess is that they will be the key. Finally, don't discount that your exH may be very depressed and if so nothing will be met with enthusiasm.

Must go but I look forward to your answers.

God Bless,

JL

<small>[ October 28, 2002, 10:18 AM: Message edited by: Just Learning ]</small>

JL- Thanks so much for your response. I had a huge project to work on yesterday, so I didn't have time to respond properly. I am running late this morning, so I still don't have the time presently. I thought I'd have a chance now, but there's a glitch here now that I must handle.

I will answer your questions later on today, but in the meantime please know that I truly appreciate your help. You've given me much to think about!

Thanks for your wisdom ,
H_P

Hi HP,

I wanted to congratulate you on your epiphany. I know how hard it is to get to that realization, but it sounds like you are on your road to forgiveness to yourself!

I think that you should convey your feeling to XH. I fhe feels uncomfortable, he will tell you to stop or to knock it off. Just don't look to him for any type of reaction. Simply be honest for the sake of being honest. It is a difficult jump, but the worst thing that can happen is he will tell you to get lost. He hasn't done that yet, and I don't believe that he will.

My thoughts on this type of sharing are that your husband will know in those deep sensitive places that he guards so well, whether or not you are being truthful. In sharing your deepest emotions and fears to those places, you will be chipping away at that wall of protection that he has built around him. His male "EGO" is what is causing his resistance to your attempts at discussing relationship. The truth that his "inner self" recognizes will fester inside. With consistency and reassurrance, the Ego will gradually start to listen to the inner voice and a change can then happen.

Appeal to his "inner self" from a genuine position. Treat his inner child the way that it needs to be nurtured. The less demanding you are, the more this inner place will be receptive to you.

Just remember, YOU will LB and get frustrated, but the gain is so worth it!

Have a great afternoon.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by kily:
[QB]His male "EGO" is what is causing his resistance to your attempts at discussing relationship. The truth that his "inner self" recognizes will fester inside. With consistency and reassurrance, the Ego will gradually start to listen to the inner voice and a change can then happen.[QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Trivializing H_P's xH's pain by claiming it's his ego that is blocking any progress shows a lack of understanding of the pain that a BS goes thru.

H_P

You are a good person that made a terrible mistake, has repented for it, and you are indeed worthy of receiving love. But please don't build up your self worth by demonizing your xH because then you will be doing the same thing the person you 'were' did during her A.

<small>[ October 29, 2002, 06:14 PM: Message edited by: TooMuchCoffeeMan ]</small>

Hello Sharon, Lisa, JL, Coffee, and Kily-
Thanks for all of your responses. I just spent about 45 minutes here answering all of your wonderful posts, and adding some small but positive interaction news concerning exH, and somehow it all disappeared. I can't find it here anywhere.

I need to finish the project I was working on last evening, so I can't afford the time right now to respond again after just taking 3/4 hour here doing so already. I'll be glad when this week is over, workwise.

Just wanted to THANK all of you, and tell you that I will respond soon. I still can't believe all of my response went away. I hit a button on the 'new' mouse my daughter put on here, and it all went away. Going 'back' didn't seem to help at all. I sure wish I knew more about computers.

Take care, and God Bless all of you,
H_P

H_P,

Good luck this week. Sounds like a busy one. I know about the computer thing, it has happened to me more than once and it's so frustrating.

Just remember it's almost Friday. I have changed my sign-in name. I gave this site to a friend and didn't want to reveal too much.

Talk to you. Take care of yourself.

Sharon

HP,

I had this happen to me a few times. An easy solution to this problem is to write out your responses in MS word, or Note pad. Once you are complete, all you have to do is copy everything and paste it to your post screen. Then if you lose it, you have the whole thing on you text editor so you haven't wasted hours and lost valuable thoughts.

You can delete the files after the posts are done if you so desire.

Looking forward to hearing from you.