Davepr, I see it took plan b in the end for you... did distance bring her closer everytime? i see you had distance a few times in your sig. Just curious. My ws is angry at me today, because of some educating type stuff I sent him on a's... gee I should of known... something just took over my brain and my fingers and I cut and paste comething from mb to him... He had a fit!

I think they hate this.

I do think GC is doing great... but I know stever advised her to contact him one to two times a week. I think a little contact with NO RELATIONSHIP TALK...a s I learned again today by educating ws- is a good way to go.

Thanks for your support here, all of you! Go GC!

Tonight I will be doing the firm!
I wish we could all go on that MB girls vacation, wow that sounds awesome. Hey who knows maybe one day we will! For now, the firm, glasses of wine, and ck ins!

Hugs to everyone, have a great afternoon.

I am going to church tonight taking a financial class ... on budgeting, etc.. then home to ck mb and on you GC! Have a good day.

BTW- Not totally suprised he was able to back out of his little talk. SOMETIMES NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS...a nd all this bad realtionship talk really brings us down.

Dont worry, be happy! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Honey

USH: especially when I told him I did not want him to come over if he was going to tell me the same thing. I have been watching the newspapers, I don't think he's filed yet.

Honey: I did my Absculpt tonight, tomorrow is Cardio sculpt!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by davepr:
<strong>don't call him in a few days.... let him call you...</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">well, I did call him this morning, Steve advised that I keep my name out there at least twice a week but no R talk and no LB's. I called him, said I just wanted to say hey and hopes he has a good day. He seemed kinda surprised, but we had a short pleasant conversation. I was on my way to a meeting, he asked if it had any thing to do with my company cutbacks, it wasn't, and then he told me that he was playing golf with two of his friends after work (down by his work, I can confirm this with his friend's wife, we are good friends). I didn't say anything about him not coming, and he didn't either. I just acted like nothing happened. Then we got off the phone. Just a short, non LBing pleasant conversation. I needed to have a good conversation in there since I probably LB'd when I said I did not want to see him.

Also, I need to develop that pleasantness again, that way I can catch him in a fairly good mood to approach him again about making an appt with Steve (Steve asked me to do it again).

Hi there G_C,

It makes so much sence what SH adviced you.(everything makes so much sence what he says) It made me smile when you wrote that the call surprised your H and that the conversation was pleasant.
It's just a that "you" give him "no" reasons to feel bad about you. I'm quit sure that no matter what, you got him thinking. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Try to change the situation into the positive. You wrote: WH wants to have another talk Wed, doesn't sound good(maybe 'cuz he didn't show up)
It might not "sound" good but nothing "negetive" happened. He just didn't "do" what he said he wanted to. He didn't do, what he told you, he wanted to.
You knew for sure you didn't want to talk about the same stuff and you didn't. Do you see the difference?

This shows you that he doesn't have a plan nor does he know what he really wants.
"Relationship" is very confusing for him, he is reacting very insecure.

And I really think that if he wanted a "divorce" he would react secure and he would "do it!"
You're doing a great job and you are not making his decision "easy" for him. You are reacting so great that he just can't "do it". At least not when he was telling you that he wanted it.
No one can tell you what the future will bring.

Use what you have learned for the future. No one can take that from you. You have grown and you have became stronger without even really realizing this.

No matter what will happen believe in yourself and don't loose trust. No matter what direction your H takes.

I hope you have a nice weekend and no matter what, be good to yourself! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
hugs
bb

<small>[ September 27, 2002, 04:12 AM: Message edited by: blondblossom ]</small>

thanks BB! I have tried to do so much work within myself, with all of the books I have read, etc.

With all of that "knowledge", I scared him off last time, I know I did, I was trying to teach him and educate way too early. Compare it to a kid in 1st grade showing up for his first day of class, I was trying teach calculus and physics to that kid!!

I did learn my lesson about "controlling" behavior. So, if I don't know what to say, I'll stay quiet!

I have no clue if I will see him this weekend or not, I am not going to expect it.

I think he is confused, and I hope he and OW LB' the H@@L out of one another since he has not filed yet, then again, he could be telling her lies and said he did.
When he filed last year March '01, but never followed through or give me papers, they still worked together I talked to a girl a few months ago from that employer (neither one work there anymore). She said that OW was always crying at work because WH was not divorced yet and was mad at me because "I was holding things up". He had told everyone that I was delaying everything, etc! Well, it eventually got dropped after one year because he did not do anything with it when he filed, I think he was buying his time, even though he was not sure what he wanted.

Honey, Yes, it took me going to a modified Plan B/A to get on the road to recovery. Plan B except when WS makes contact, and then Plan A for everything you have left inside you.
My WS was on the fence for some time, in my case, the Plan B/A pushed her off on the right side. I think you already know the answer about trying to educate a WS, I know that you
are eager to share what you learn with them but they are not capable of understanding it when they are in the fog. MY WS was very angry with me for a long time, Plan B helped give her the time to deal with this and find her own way out of this mess.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.
Dave