Shattered in SF,

Loved your post! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> You are SO right on. He's playing everyone here for a fool just like my WH did me. Wait, maybe it is WH? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Keep them coming - I had my best laugh in days.

Shattered,
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> You understand him! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
And he thought nobody did... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

This guy has no intention of taking our advice, he has not from the beginning.

Pity his poor wife... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Since there is no problem here you should have no problem telling your wife and showing her these threads. Have you told her yet?

Since there is no problem here you should have no problem telling your wife and showing her these threads. Have you told her yet?

Since there is no problem here you should have no problem telling your wife and showing her these threads. Have you told her yet?

Since there is no problem here you should have no problem telling your wife and showing her these threads. Have you told her yet?

Hello Cautious. I have been lurking and following your thread. Now I will put in my 2 cents. I think deep inside you know what you are doing, same thing with ms. lunch buddy. I will digress from everyone is saying and advise you to spend more time with her, get to know her more, let her get to know you more – after all, you are both getting good feelings from these innocent lunches. Don’t let anyone stop you on this and advise you against yours and lunch buddy’s better judgments.

AND POSTERS, PLEASE STOP BADGERING THIS MAN!!!!

I also agree with another poster when she said that the prime reason you posted is to find out the motive of lunch buddy for wanting to spend so much time with you. From what I see, truly your posting was never about saving your marriage or nor about protecting your boundaries – it was finding more about the intentions of ms. lunch me, opps, I meant ms. lunch mate – and getting inside her thoughts.

I also believe that you are pursuing her as much youre making us believe that she is pursuing you. Otherwise, she would probably behaved a lot less aggressive.

I can compare you to a little winged insect too attracted to fire at this point. Your justification and Mrs. Good Catholic’s on the EA just sucks, yet you prefer to hold on it than to listen to so many other people who have been there and done that.

If you’re married to a good woman, you’re a lucky man. Luckier than you would ever think or imagine.

There is a reason why you are married to your wife. Many years ago, you saw her and fell in love with her, fell for the crazy things she represented, laughed with her. You also saw all the best and good in her. You know that she is unique and you’re the most stupid person on the planet if you let her go.

Who would want to be married to some slutty, pretentious woman who sneaks around and tells her lunch buddy – I promise never to be sexual with you, never to eat this oh-so-long-and-firm-and-creamy fettucine on top of your beautiful, flat, naked, tummy – yummmm!!!

Think!!!

I think you have been given a chance to learn an important lesson about valuing what matters most. But I think for you to realize and gain valuable knowledge and insight from all of this is for you to actually gamble and risk all that matters to you – then you will know. In the perfect world, when a spouse becomes wayward, crashes and burns – his spouse will still be there for him. Do you think so less and so little of your wife that you think she will settle for a lunch lover’s leftovers??

1. Lunches to continue. As I type now, there is already office gossip about the 2 of you. Half of the office think you’re a ba**sless SOB, the other half thinks she’s a real sl**.

2. More intimate talk happens (more along the line “how do you really, really feel about the two of us?” “can you imagine yourself divorcing W/H and being with somebody else?” “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you are in a terrible, terrible sexual fix with your W/H”)

3. A sneaky call during Thanksgiving (Im thinking about you, you know that)

4. “Innocent” goodbye kisses and rub on the shoulders at work

5. A peck on the lips during the company X’mas party, you will find a way to be alone together, have more yummy kisses and some very intimate touching

6. A sneaky call on X’mas day (I don’t understand it, why do I miss you so much????)

7. A stolen moment sometime between post-X’mas and pre-New Year, probably a not all-the-way PA (This is sooo wrong but I cant help myself. You are just so irrisistable!!!)

8. A full pledged PA before end of 1st quarter next year. Overtime at work. Stolen weekends together. (This is so unfair!!!!I wish we could tell the whole world that we are inlove with each other!!!)

9. By April, you would want to D your respective spouses.

10. You will get out of your homes by June 2003 to do some “thinking”

11. Share an apartment by 3rd quarter of 2003

12. By March 2004, she realizes the kind of yucky guy you are compared to her H, she starts missing her “family”. You discover that you just got hooked on her because of the “newness” that she represents.

13. By 1st quarter 2004, she gets back to her H. He forgives her. You go back to your W. Nopes, you don’t get as lucky as Ms.Lunch Me, I mean Ms. Lunch Mate.

This in a nutshell, is my fearless prediction for you.

No-brainer, really - Next tragic story please!!

XTREME

Oh BTW. My sometimes abrasive nature aside, I am also psychic. Though in this case, I would rather eat my psychic blah-blah than see my prediction come true (like I said, this case is no brainer, even if I was dim-witted, I would still arrive at same projection).

And another thing, no matter how well-intentioned people are in MB, no matter how much we want to see at least 2 marriages here not to fall apart, please see that the parties involved, the very people who made vows to keep their M's faithful and unblemished, do not give half a care.

They are determined to have their way and prove that they do not have an affair (yet) and prove that emotional intimacy/sexual talk can happen w/o calling it an EA; without progressing it to PA and that affairs dont get nurtured from innocent lunches.

Let's just wait for the time when their respective BSs come over, MB's advising efforts will probably have more yield on them.

XTREME