I was the WW, and I must say Toro that I don't think you should give up. I know I told you before, but as soon as the OM moved into this area and I saw him daily, reality set in better and better. I'm sure this will happen with your WW. The more pleasant you are, the better she'll see you. The OM couldn't compare with my exH, and I realized that the A was about my own selfishness and insecurities than it was about my ExH. The OM wasn't even a nice person. To have given up a stable marriage with a kind man for being with this OM--it is simply hard to take.

I am sorry for what you and all of the other BS's who've posted here have been going through due to your WS's. I have to live the rest of my life with what I did, and it's quite hard to do. I'd never lied in my life til this A started. I was the Sunday school teacher, the PTA mom, the one everyone looked to for advice and comfort. Worst of all, I was my now ExH's best friend and the light of his life, and that's all gone at this point.

Sorry for venting here! My advice, Toro, please don't give up hope. It is so heartwarming to see all of the BS's here who forgive their WS's. I pray that someday my ExH can forgive me for my huge mistake.

Take care everyone,
H_P

TORO I agree with hopeful_person's comment. Your WW has yet to experience what reality will be like living with prince charming <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> . She has all these adolescent girl fantasies about how wonderful her life with OM will be, and boy is she going to be sadly dissappointed.

You may want to go to plan B and let OM fulfill all her needs. It's like Moving Forward said about once it finally sinks in that their BS will be moving on with his/her life, it becomes a wake up call and suddenly they realize what they are doing.

Even though I would normally think it's a bad idea to contact OM, you might want to consider sending OM one last e-mail or phone call telling him that you are no longer going to fight for her and that he (OM) better prepare himself for her arrival anyday soon. If he's just playing with her and has no intention of having her live with him, then this approach might send him panicking and contacting her and telling her how he doesn't want to break up her family,and yadda,yadda,yadda. Of course this might not work but hey what have you got to lose, right?

Well, in full Plan B. She decided she wanted me to know that she is flying back to see him, which she already knew I didn't want to know about it. She's upset that no one is supprting her. Jeez wonder why? Called OM, told him he can take of her. He said he would and that he is moving here as soon as he can. HEHE, her family will have nothing to do with him. She tells me I cannot talk to her family. Her family tells me they can talk to me all they want, that I am a part of the family and that OM will never be. Oh well. I asked them if I ended up meeting someone else if I could still be a part of the family, they said absolutely. I know their relationship is doomed. She acts like her family doesn't matter. I've known her for 14 years, her family matters. OM is upset with me b/c I won't trade days with WW so she can go back to see him. Can't believe he even has the nerve to ask me. Told him if he even looks sideways at my kids the Sh** will hit the fan.
WW is so full of herself it is unbelievable. She actually told me that she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Oh, flying 1500 miles to scr** some loser is the best thing that has happened to me. NO, the best thing that has ever happened to me is God giving me my boys. The next best thing is still in the future. I will meet someone special, I know it. I can feel it. I don't think WW was ever the "one." Even though she thinks she is god's gift. Oh well, thanks guys for all your help and advice. I have learned a lot. I will continue to post here in my future relationships.

Take care everyone and god bless.

TORO:

1. DEFINITELY stop talking 2 OM.

There is no #2.

TORO.

When I was a kid, I used to be a hard core candy junkie and my mother tried very hard to reason with me, threaten me, plead with me all to no avail to stop eating so much candy. I had cavities with cavities and there seemed to be nothing she or anybody else could do to make me stop. Until one day, an old aunt of my mom's came over to visit us and my mother told her about my problem with sweets. Well the old lady asked my mom if she would to let her try to cure me of my extreme sweet tooth, to which my mom said yes. The old woman approached me with a wicked smile and told me that I could eat as much candy as I liked whenever I liked. You should have seen the horrified look on my mothers's face and the ecstatic look on mine. To eat all the candy I wanted, whenever I wanted and not be hassled by my mother was like a dream come true. So I took the task of eating chocolates, caramels, soda pop, you name it, I ate it. The following day when breakfast rolled around, instead of eggs and bacon with a glass of orange juice, I had a plate of nothing but candy and being a normal kid, I ate it all. After I came back from school, I was ready for lunch, but instead of pot roast and mashed potatoes with green beans on the side, my plate once again was filled with candies, and even though I was disappointed in not getting the real food everybody else was getting, I ate all the candy on my plate. When supper rolled around, and everybody at the table was having lassagna with garlic bread and with a side garden salad, you guessed it, my plate was filled with the same candies I had for breakfast and lunch. I only ate a few of the candies before I said I wanted to be excused, but the old lady said to me that I wasn't going to be excused from the table until I had finished everything on my plate. So I reluctanctly chewed everything one of those pieces of candy until I finished all of them from my plate. I had never had so much candy in my life and instead of being happy for having been allowed to indulge in such great quantities, I was sick, sick of even looking at one piece of candy. The following morning, my breakfast plate was once again filled with candies, and I just broke down and cried my eyes out because I did not want anymore candy. The old lady then proceeded to take the plate away and serve me a plate of eggs with bacon with a glass of orange juice. I swear that I had never been so happy to be eating real food instead of candy. And to this day, I continue to have an aberration to eating more than one piece of candy.

TORO let your WW have a plate of OM every day morning, noon and night, and just wait until she too will start crying her eyes out for a REAL MAN (YOU) instead of a CANDY MAN (OM) on her plate.

TMCM:

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

TooMuchCoffeeMan:

HEHEHE, I like that a lot

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />