Honestly unsure,
I just got tired. I was so worn out I didn't know what to do.

I didn't wnat to marry him and have some great life. We were together for nearly 10 years. I grew up a lot in that time. I came to understand that this man was not capable of making a great life for himself. He was happy to sit and blame others for his troubles. Never confronting his issues.

I loved him. I used him. I was sick and tired of playing the game. Then one day he came "home" to my house with this great plan. He had told me before "i'm never leaving my wife." Well that was fine with me. So when he comes home with "i'm leaving her for you" I was <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> to say the least. I was like "oh HELL no!!" She's either crazy, weak or a saint, because there's no way in hell I would put up with all of the stuff that she put up with.

PLUS he had decided to get sober in AA. I'm sober 6 years and I know what a nightmare that first year is. I just didn't want to do it. And I haven't.

Interesting that very few WW's (orWH's either) see themselves in the role of the OW. My wife acknowledges that she's a WW, but sort of overlooks the fact that she's at the same time an OW, that she might have (no doubt did) cause the kind of pain for the OP's wife that those bon-of-a-sitchs have caused me.

If you fooled around with a married person, you're also an OP to your OP's spouse. Live with it.