I can't resist.
RELATE, you take great pride in baiting people don't you. Well, you baited me so smile with much joy.
I wish no ill will on you. No need to , your own unhappiness serves you well. It is so obvious.

HCII, I've followed your threads and wish you the best. It must be crazy going through what you are now.
Best of luck.

Bringing out the SuperSister cape......donning it....Hands on Hips...

If you are holding the paper saying you are her partner because you have not signed the divorce papers <heh, heh>, while they are married and happily living the good life, you are so in denial and in a fantasy bordering on psycho, and you so need help.

This comment confirms it....you are talking out your anal orifice.

This entire thread has been about NOT having seen the papers...NOT having the papers....and WANTING the papers so that he CAN sign them. He did not even know any papers existed yet. He has been waiting and waiting.

What planet did you warp from? Maybe your purpose in life is to just convolute people's posts and come up with your own little armchair psychology. If that is the case, you need to take it elsewhere. People here know my Brother's story because they have been following it for months, they are responding with shock, indignation and sympathy, and rightfully so (Thank you to all his MB friends).

Sign the papers and get on with building your house.

This is the closest thing that you have said to even be considered coherent....with a few changes it would be DECENT of you to share it. Example: "Hopefully you will get your papers soon, sign the papers, (catching on yet Relate?) and get on with building your house". Now, that does that look so hard? It probably would be impossible for you to post a "decent" response because I can imagine there is nothing decent about you. After seeing the way you waver on others' posts, I can expect that you are not consistent with your medication. You came very close to admitting that you are too up and down and inconsistent on another post to someone else. Please refrain from being an antagonist it is annoying and unwarranted.

To All Other Posters...

I am glad that the people here are supportive of my brother by not allowing relate's absurd ramblings to go unnoticed in trying to antagonize.

This post was intended to share information about the lunacy of this week's happenings, not intended to share in relate's lunacy.

I really feel that relate has been the other woman in one (if not more) relationships and she is here to simply flame. She needs to be warped back up to the planet that banished her.

Always,
committed

<small>[ November 10, 2002, 08:48 AM: Message edited by: committedandlovingit ]</small>

boo,

I am truly shocked by your situation. I can't believe that a judgement was entered without your knowing. The signature of your atty or yourself HAD to have been present, especially on the stipulation attachment.

Hopefully Monday and a talk with your elusive atty will shed some light on the matter. I hope it's nothing more than a correctable error.

Wishing the best,
ba109

If I remember correctly (I suppose I could look at the archives and confirm it if I felt like it)...Relate is the same poster who got me all fired up when she told Mrs. Funk to let her hubby go out and have his fun (when Mrs Funk thought he was sleeping with someone out of revenge). Yea...wise one Relate is. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Never heard of Mr/Mrs Funk.

Much of the original post has been about a bitter ex bad-mouthing and trying to attack a happy new couple.

<small>[ November 10, 2002, 09:50 AM: Message edited by: relate ]</small>

If stating the facts has the effect of badmouthing, well, they brought it on themselves. All I read of hcii's original post was his understanding of the facts as he knows them with some possible scenarios for facts he admits to not having.

Badmouthing?

No.

Relate, I propose you are projecting psychologically on to hcii's words.

Bitter? Perhaps. I'm bitter that I didn't have much say in the course of my family's struggle.

Read my sig line. If stating the facts that my XW and OM married a few months after our respective divorces is badmouthing because it suggests they were having an affair they both denied, oh well.

hcii,

Take what you like and leave the rest. I know how you feel may make you want to respond to things so off the beaten path from other posters.. but it does no good.. they keep their stance and get angry at you- just don't answer and ignore the postings, in fact when you see a name you don't like, don't read it!

A few weeks ago I was under some stress here from some postings, and I just had to let them all go. SOme hurt, but just let them go.

Hugs, i am sorry for the words that don't apply to you, obviously.

Honey

OK, Relate...Time to give you a little "English 101".

You said:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Much of the original post has been about a bitter ex bad-mouthing and trying to attack a happy new couple.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">OK...Show me where MUCH of the post was attacking. Don't come back with maybe a "one-liner", but show me "much".

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It is not necessary to have the consent of the ex. The other way is to have a judge declare the marriage dismissed, which she would have got done in this case. You are divorced whether you agree or not by a court decree. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Quote me exactly where I do not agree with the Dv. I have maintained that I do not agree that there could be a valid settlement agreement. For instance:

MY WORDS:

HCII: "I don't think that there is any way it could be final. I know that it is possible for the Dv to have been granted, but I can't see how the settlement agreement could be final without my signature."

AND MY EVEN "QUESTIONING" THE DECREE:

"What throws me off is the fact that there was a hearing a few months ago for bifurcation. The exW wanted the DV immediately, and settle the property at a later date. That was DENIED. So...how could she get the DV now, without a bona fide settlement?"

That was a question, NOT a denial....

THEN I SAID:

HCII: "I have no problem with her wanting out of the marriage. I consider myself intelligent enough to not be happy with someone who doesn't want to be part of a marriage with me."

Sounds like acceptance to me.....

THEN I SAID AGAIN:

HCII: "I can sort of believe the DV being final, but there is a settlement agreement that is attached to the decree that I did not agree to.

Since she was denied seperating the divorce from the property settlement, I would think that it couldn't be granted. FWIW, I have not signed a Marital Settlement Agreement. No way can the one that is part of the decree stick. At least I wouldn't think so...."

Looks like I am "denying" again....

AGAIN:

HCII: "There IS a settlement agreement attached to it, WITHOUT my stipulations"

Not divorce, but SETTLEMENT AGREEMENT!

OK...ANOTHER:

HCII: "When I have something presented to me to sign, I most definitely will!!!!

But....She's the one not turning ME loose. Or she'd have them sent to me. And she wouldn't be letting me pay HER bills."

I reiterate that I'm ready. Again. SHE'S dragging it out....

If your gonna say that those are out of context, too, then put your money where your mouth is.

Now, for just an opinion based on facts and observations....

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> It is not necessary to have the consent of the ex. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Before they start dividing up the marital property, they do. I cannot have a settlement agreement "forced" on me, unless it is one that has been handed down by the court via trial.

relate posted

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> a short courtship is quite common and I know so many couples who are married and in love only after a short courtship. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have no problem with a short courtship working out. Provided that the decision to marry was not obtained during heights of emotional distress.

See, I'm the one here with the recordings taken in MY vehicle. I know the facts. I know the fears. I know the reasoning.

FWIW, her marriage, IF she has, is VERY relevant to me. There are stipulations in the decree in that remarriage by her will alter the decree. So...with that being said, to try to "hide" that fact, is committing fraud and contempt of court.

Make a "right" out of that....

Boo

Ok Relate, you got me...I tried looking for that post and it's lost in a sea of thousands of other posts. So I'll give you that one...MAYBE it wasn't you. But just surfing back to some of your most recents posts... what the ?!@# was the sense of this in Pepperbands Squeezit PizzaJuice post???

"How about these Slitty mongoloids trying to be funny? The stupid sh*t is a menace. Zip up the slits! They need to be taught how to be polite. "

You just hit and run on that one...never did explain what wiggled up your tushy and made you so mad.

And then there's all your freakishly poor advice to Honey where you tend to victimize her alcoholic and abusive husband and minimize her hellish struggle with trying to establish a normal and non-codependant life for herself and her children!!

"Poor guy. It must have been very humiliating and frightening to be kicked out and be without anywhere to go. That was downright cruelty. No wonder it feels wonderful to have his own house that no one can kick him out of. If you want the marriage to work, go and ask for his forgiveness and move in with him as he wants - even if you have to sell your house to let him feel safe. "

"Your refusal to visit his home, at a reasonable time (not at 1:00 am) with the kids is terribly controlling and domineering thing to do. You should be listening to him and making the changes he requests, not dimissing his requests. He needs you to look after him (domestic support) and make more of an effort with your looks (attractive spouse). You should be glad he is revealing His Needs to you and doing your best to listen and meet his needs. You should take your children to his place and admire his attempts (Admiration) at what he has achieved, not put it down."

GET REAL!!! Honey is doing a WONDERFUL job of establishing reasonable boundries. If someone came on here looking for answers and thinking about suicide...what would you tell them? To use a gun instead of a knife because it's more effective?!?! GEEEZ!

I could go on...pretty much all of your posts have been antagonistic and ridiculous...except for your current bizarre infatuation with Alan Arthur. What's the deal with THAT??

I just have to wonder...are you a scorned OM/OW...are you a WS whose spouse is posting on this board...are you schizophrenic or just deranged and bored???

GET A LIFE!!!

Yeah............

What she said!

You go hope. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

committed

Relate,

I too have gone back and read your posts, and the majority of them are mean spirited "Hit and Run" type responses.

I'd like to know if you have the slightest clue the devistation one feels when betrayed. I cannot believe you have experienced it from either side of the coin because your responses are hurtfully sterile and void of any compassion.

I have to believe you're not here to support or to help anyone through anything. Unless you have experienced this life altering devistation in your marriage RELATE, you just aren't qualified or in a position to give any advice or comments to our members.

If you cannot offer supportive comment, please stop posting.

Respectfully,
Jo

HCII,
I am sorry for what you're going through. It must be quite upsetting to see that a person whom you were with for so many years (14, right?) can act in this sort of way. It's hard to see our perceptions of someone shattered so forcefully, again and again!

I've learned much from words you've expressed here on MB to Kily, and I don't feel I can say anything now to help you. Just know that, as she said here too, you deserve better.

Does seeing this sort of complete instability make you feel glad she's not your wife anymore, or does it just make you feel very sad for her? I am just curious, myself, as a former WS- how you look at this.

Take care,
H_P

PS I was informed of my divorce's finality in the mail. I guess this is how it's always done. However, in my case, I had signed the final agreement the previous month.

Relate is a troll pure and simple and wasting emotional energy on her posts only adds feeds some potentially unresolved childhood issues in her life. It would be wise if we simply choose to ignore her.

I should say she has been very consistent and stable in her actions. She has ended the failed relationship, gotten the divorce by decree (though the financial settlements may be still pending), tried out a couple of relationships and found and settled down with a man she can love and is in love with. She seems very stable and sensible and very likely has an extremely happy and stable family life.

All the more credit to her for finding someone else when the child came to light. Now that she is married, you should not be bad-mouthing a new marriage.

<small>[ November 10, 2002, 03:48 PM: Message edited by: relate ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by relate regarding hcii's W:
She seems very stable and sensible and very likely has an extremely happy and stable family life.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">STABLE??? .... you consider a married woman who is having an affair with a married man that is still sleeping with his W which he has made pregnant STABLE???

Relate, you are only here to cause trouble and aggravation on people that certainly don't need any more hurt in their lives, Please stop your harassment. Your words are senseless and not based on any fact or data, they are simply to cause more hurt.

hcii,
I hope for your sake that this is all a misunderstanding and that everything will be cleared up soon. Tomorrow is Veterans Day though right? I know banks will be closed but will the court houses be open? If they are closed, would your lawyer be in his office tomorrow anyway? Either way, I hope all is settled for you soon so that you can move on and build that dream house of yours.

Ok, I just have to ask...is that Relate person for real???? I know no one could possibly REALLY think that way. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Anyone reported relate to the moderator yet?

BOO-

Just sending a hug your way! You've been in my thoughts and prayers. I just hope that you receive word soon.

I was wondering about this secretary/paralegal that is your wife's friend. How tustworthy is this woman? I'm sure if this is just a run-a-round on her part that she may no longer have a job once the details work out.

I'm sad to hear of your pain, and as a former WP, it really hurts to know that I was capable of hurting someone in a manner that your XW did. I'm glad that I am able to follow along and provide some words of wisdom because it helps me to heal.

Good Bless You and your family.

Hi Jacky,

Yes, I have reported RELATE to our MB mods this morning. Hoping to hear something soon.

Lv,
Jo

Hey hcii ~

Totally crazy situation - I'd really follow Brit's advice and have another attorney review this situation - that your lawyer hired your wife's best friend while there was an ongoing case and you are forced to go thru her to get to your attorney is disturbing.

And hey, at the very least - if you have indeed been divorced, I'd sue your ex for any funds you've outlayed for HER bills since that date.