So we've been snowed in here in the Queen City of the West for a couple of days. I've slept in the same bed with my wife for the first time since November. It was awkward and almost foreign. Our time together has been good ... we both got a little bored with little on television (the satelite has been in-and-out) and no movie stores open. I didn't expect that it would be entirely comfortable yet. I'm happy with the way things have gone so far.

Pretty laid back post for this kind of news isn't it?

I am happy for you and that is an understatement of the highest order.

SS

SS ... I do quite well with understatement. It's almost an art for me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

In other news to report, I was trusted in my wife's apartment alone during the snowy aftermath. I was charged with making sure her (our) cat was doing well and still had food. So that was also a plus.

Despite the lack of emotion in my last post, I'm a pretty happy guy.

So my wife has been sick the last few days. I signed up to play Dr. Feelgood ... gladly, I might add. I got her some groceries and fetched her dry cleaning. Rented some movies for her and capped it off with a lovely bouquet of irises and tulips (tulips are her favorite). Last night it was hard for me to leave her apartment ... not because I didn't want to go, but that she didn't want me to go. She understood, as our dog has needs, too.

After the first night of her sickness, and after I got home, she called a few hours later to thank me for keeping her company and for running her errands. She told me she didn't know what she would have done without me. And she lives a block away from the grocery store!

So THIS is what it feels like to be needed? Not that I want my wife to be sick, but it's an awesome feeling, folks.

I have more. But it's late and I work in the morning.

Yes Whippit!!!!!!!! You're doing awesome! I had no idea things were going so well for you.

Congratulations, that patience you always told me about really paid off for you. I sense great things in your future.

Keep giving us those positive updates! Can't wait to hear more.

ALS

You ought to be a writer for TV programs.

"Here's what's happening - Oh no, I can't finish, back tomorrow, same time, same station."

Yeah, go ahead, get us going and then string us out.

Actually, all teasing aside, I am happy for you. I hope it continues to get better and better. Your W is letting you meet needs, fancy that.

I am still wondering why she doesn't come home yet. Does she still have issues, or don't you dare bring it up? Or (perish the thought) you have issues and don't want her until she works things through.

Just thinking out loud as it were.

SS

ALS ... thank you, thank you. I don't think of myself as particularly remarkable. I goofed up like others have, but I kept myself focused and gave a lot over to faith. And I've been lucky a lot, too. This is hard work, as we all know. But even if I weren't sitting where I am it would have all been worth it, as I've discovered so much about myself. And that I would never trade for anything.

SS ... don't apologize for teasing. Teasing is good. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> As for the meat of your response ... I'm sure she still has issues. We all do. But I need to ask her where she stands on coming home. I'm educatedly guessing she wants to at some point. And I want her to do so ... but only when she's ready. I'm confident she feels safe here with me (she's here nearly every day for at least an hour ... whether or not I am).

In other notes, my dog ate the remote to my satellite receiver while I was at work today. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

<small>[ April 01, 2003, 07:57 PM: Message edited by: whippit ]</small>

So ... my wife is moving home. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Yeah, Like I've said before............
Master of understatement.

One of these days, give us a play by play.

And Congrats.

SS

Whippit!

Yeah!

But overstate a little sometime, will ya?

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
-Qfwfq

LOL!! X 10

Of course, you do know I do it on purpose now?

I'm a pretty happy guy and the conversation went well. In typical fashion lately, my wife beat me to the punch. I was going to ask her this weekend if she had given the idea any thought ... that I wanted her to come home and I wanted her to do it when she's ready. I guess she's ready. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> And her practical side had an infleunce, as the cost of her rent plus our mortgage plus our other obligations just isn't getting us anywhere, either.

And I know that the hard work has yet to begin. I'm looking forward to every minute of it.

Thanks SS. Thanks Q.

I've been a little quiet lately. Things have been pretty good in the Whippitland of late. Making plans with my wife for her return home and those have been going well. New wok is going quite well, too. I've been contemplating moving to the recovery board, but my superstitious side doesn't want to jinx it. This, of course, is absurd.

I was thinking this morning about something another member has asked me before. I don't know why I was. He asked me why don't I participate more on the threads of others ... that surely my successes (as well as failures) could be helping others. There are two things I keep coming back to:
</font>

• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't think I did anything special. I just read this stuff and began applying it and I've been lucky because it's worked so far.</font></li>

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">... and ...
</font>

• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I've intentionally avoided giving much advice to the female membership because I haven't the foggiest notion what the female perspective of this is like. Cop out? Maybe so.</font></li>

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Anyhoo ... this is me right now.

1. Yes, I know you do it on purpose.
2. I think it is great that your W wants to come home.
3. You can help others anyway.

You done good!!

SS

Whippit:

"I don't think I did anything special. I just read this stuff and began applying it and I've been lucky because it's worked so far."

Which makes it special!

-Qfwfq

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

SS and Q ... thank you so very much.

I know I could be helping others more directly. It's just, sometimes, after reading what's there already, there isn't much I can lend. There are so many great helpers here with such awesome advice and words, that my response tends to feel like piling on to me. And I must admit that I get a little frustrated with those who seem not to want to learn this stuff. I know it's hard ... as I've been there, too. But I found that one or two good days led to more good days and that standing up to my fears was more liberating than the Marines have been lately. I also had to re-learn that I define my marriage ... not the other way around.

I can't remember the member who uses the line about wanting to be married rather than wanting to be right, but it's so perfect as it applies to our common situations here. Of course, our spouses are acting wrongly. Does it do us as betrayeds any good to focus on that? Nope. Then what's left? For me it was knowing that, each morning when I awoke and each night when I went to bed, I was STILL married. And as long as that was still the case, then I knew I still had a shot ... no matter how my wife was feeling or acting. If it didn't work the way I wanted it, then I would still be a better person for it. As hard as this was/is, it's gotten easier every day through practice. And I stumbled along the way, too. But tomorrow always had the potential to be better regardless of how today had gone.

Anyhoo ... thanks again. You've both been such awesome friends here.

So do you think we should send out a search party for W?

I duno, he SEEMS to be lost.

Perhaps it's just that he is spending so much time with W now he doesn't have time to post.

Ya think?

Probably.

Ah, lets just leave him be.

OK.

SS

<small>[ April 18, 2003, 04:46 PM: Message edited by: still seeking ]</small>

Friends ... the Love Bank is now offering free checking, 10 percent interest on savings accounts, and giving away free microwave ovens.

Today was my anniversary. Today was excellent.

We have a move-in date. We're painting the interior of the house. We talk about our future.

Thanks for checking in, SS.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Keep the good news coming!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />
♥Qfwfq

Timetable?

SS