Well tomarrow I am selling our wedding rings. I took mine off and can't stand to look at them anymore. It hurts too much. I will let God decide whether she returns to work on marriage or not. At this time I would have to say she is done. Maybe after first seperating I might have had a chance, but I've pushed her out of reach now. If she did come back it would be a miracle. Then I will get new wedding rings for our future.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by AlanArthur:
<strong>Well tomarrow I am selling our wedding rings. I took mine off and can't stand to look at them anymore. It hurts too much. I will let God decide whether she returns to work on marriage or not.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I would not do that ... not to take if off and certainly not to sell it. From the sunny California, I would say you are the one given up on this M ... and I would say she is still undecided and try to push you to make the decision. If you do that you would get the gulity feeling when all of this settled down w/ Dv.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>At this time I would have to say she is done. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That is what you said ... you know that she is sucking you up into her fog ?. She lead you right into where she wants you to be ... to give up !.
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Maybe after first seperating I might have had a chance, but I've pushed her out of reach now. If she did come back it would be a miracle. Then I will get new wedding rings for our future.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LIVE, LEARN and LOVE ... LIVE your normal life, LEARN from your mistake and LOVE the love of your life (W). Again from here I would say ... she hands you the nails (Dv) and you nailed it on your own coffin yourself (M)..... Let her put the nail herself.

Listen, knowing is far different than learning it. Reading the Bible is far different than beleiving it. You have to apply what you have learn and stick with it !!!!. You still have a few months, you could start over w/ your plan A. STARTING OVER YOUR PLAN A IS MUCH EASIER THAN STARTING OVER W/ NEW RELATIONSHIP. You should say it is not over until the skinny lady cry ... LOL !!!. Think it over big guy. -rh-

As long as you are married, you SHOULD wear your wedding ring. I left mine on until the day after the divorce was final. You are here because you believe in marriage and what it stands for. Even if your marriage ends, you shouldn't change the way you think of it.

Selling them even before you are divorced, I believe would be a big mistake. Put 'em in a box somewhere, but don't get rid of them, at least until the divorce is final.

[b]At this time I would have to say she is done./b]
Did you read Surviving An Affair? The two couples in the book are real.

I don't rememeber their names but one of the couples was beyond anything I have read in these forums.

The woman had an affair, moved out, moved back in, moved out again.
Then she got an attorney, had her hubby evicted, got a restraining order, got the house with the children, child support and the boyfriend moved in.

This was a BAD situation. The couple DID get back together and they are STILL together. This happened like 20 years ago.

My point? It ain't over 'till it's over. Expect nothing but hope for everything and all the other sayings.

Alan
Maybe after first seperating I might have had a chance, but I've pushed her out of reach now. If she did come back it would be a miracle. Then I will get new wedding rings for our future
Why do you KEEP blaming yourself, WHY? You did not push her to do anything, why are you so willing to find fault within yourself and blame yourself for LOVING your wife.
The wedding rings, what good is it to sell them, and then say you will get new ones for the future, YOU are married NOW and therefore the rings that were then are now, you want to hope for the future, but blame yourself and beat yourself up for what was and what is now, that's just not conducive to all you have been doing in such a positive way to regain some interacion with W. I hope I am making sense to you, because, I just feel that you are letting the "not having enough patience thing" hinder all the progress that you have made.
Please turn that energy around, when you even find yourself thinking from that view, step up on a chair and see the higher perspective, of the whole picture. Don't let where she is let your view get so one dimensional!!! My thoughts are with you, and sorry if it feels like I'm jumping on you, I'm not, I just can't shake you to snap you out of this defeatist mode you are in. Now hang in there!!!!

To tell you the truth I don't know why I blame myself. I know it takes two. I just feel there were so many things I could have done differently to make the marriage successful. She gave me so many clues and I should have acted on them. I guess I feel guilt. I just don't want to believe I will not get a chance to make things uo to her. She has turned into such a hateful person now. Some question why I would want to work on the marriage and not find someone else who I could be happier with. I just dread the starting over thing. We know each other so well (maybe not well enough) that I would like to continue........but with a new start.

You guys are right. I will not sell the rings. I can't wear mine right now though. Who knows maybe I'll mail them to her lawyer when it's over or leave them in the courtroom <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> . Such a great legal system and easy to get a quick divorce.