Maya,<BR>My old friend, it has been a while since I checked in on you. It doesn't seem much has changed. I edited this to reflect more clearly what I mean.<P>You don't appear to be Over your om...what a burden for your husband to bear. It must be hard for him to face you day after day, if he knows how you still feel. Do you tell him when these thoughts come to you? It might help.<P>May God help you,<p>[This message has been edited by Disgrace99d (edited September 15, 1999).]

Hey D99, you've come back. Just like a wart!<P>Ya know, Maya's husband, who has more compassion and forgiveness in his earwax than you have in your entire body, is OK with the progress Maya is making.<P>So what the hell is YOUR problem?

Rut-ro. Just read this thread, on the outskirts of a late evening (insomnia type of night), and wished that it wouldn't take this turn.<P>I wish instead of belittling, we could all go in in this together, and understand. But I do realize that this is something that doesn't always deserve the PC response...it would be better if others were to respect those who are trying to mend though..<P>*bowing out humbly*

Maya,<BR>As much as you “hate” the OM for being a part of your life, that’s just it. He was a part of your life! You’ve done other things in your life your not proud of, so don’t hammer yourself too hard. Look at it as a learning experience. Try not to think of him “fondly.’ It’ll lengthen your healing process which is still gonna take some time!<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A> <BR>

Hi Disgrace99d (doesn't that name say it all),<P>I don't think I've had the pleasure of making your acquaintace, but oh, how familiar I am with your posting as I mostly lurked on this forum previously during, shall we say, the time you graced us with your presence.<P>From your pollutant post on the "Gratitude Journal" thread, I see that you are familiar with me. To you, I suppose I'm one of those bottom feeding, scum-sucking, lowly betraters, just like my friend Maya and your wife whom you revere so highly. I'm actually kinda glad you have popped back onto the forum, ya know, to say hi and stuff, and to spread your good cheer and well wishes throughout the forum. Plus, you can give those who have not been, shall we say, blessed enough to read your postings a chance to see where holding onto anger and hatred can get you.<P>Let's see, if I recall correctly, you were banned from this forum once, weren't you, for your hate laden, name-calling, inciteful posts? And, let's see, haven't you and your W been in recovery for very close to a year (or more)? And, let's see, isn't your W utterly remorseful? (As I fully expect to have her reply to this post, as she usually did, defending you and your hatred) Didn't she end her affair and commit to rebuilding with you months and months ago?<P>Hmmm, and yet you still feel the need to attempt to bash and berate those of us who ARE able to move on, are healing and rebuilding. Interesting and very sad. One can only speculate how much you attempt to punish, bash and berate your W. I feel for her. Oh, but of course you probably think I only feel for her because we're both nasty ole betrayers, right? Well, you're wrong. I feel for her because I have compassion for all human beings.<P>While you're here, I invite you to read several postings made recently by both Glenn and Carol, in case you've missed those. Then, I urge you to read several recent postings from Sherrilyn, Stone, and DaveP. Notice any difference? Infidelity and its aftermath can take on many different faces. It's very apparent which one you want yours to take, and that's really a shame, because it doesn't have to be that way. There are many betrayed spouses here who'd give their right arm to have a remorseful spouse committed to rebuilding like you do. And yet, you spit on her face with your hate and anger. Sorry, but whatever is holding you back from moving forward and your own happiness can not be solely attributed to your W's infidelity. Sorry, I don't buy it. You got something way deeper than that going on, bud, and every time you post so angrily and hatefully to people who are trying to heal and move on, it shows. You are taking the saying "misery loves company" to the hilt. <P>But, the great thing about life is, there's always the opportunity to change. But, the choice is yours. There are many of us on this forum (betrayed and betrayers alike) who, along with our spouses, have made our choice. And I don't think that makes any of us disgraced, just human.<P>So, you can bash, bash, bash away, my friend, but it won't do you any good. Sticks and stones. You still have your own life and your own situation to face each day. I really wish peace for you, but you have to want it yourself. <P>------------------<BR>Love is meant to heal. Love is meant to renew. Love is meant to oust all fear. Love is meant to harmonize differences. Love is meant to bring us closer to God.<p>[This message has been edited by new woman (edited September 15, 1999).]

New Woman,<BR>I expected this response from you, I wish I could say that your "knowledge" of my story made me feel better, but it doesn't.<P>You should know that my wife, Loved your thoughts on "betrayers" and how Any of us could be just like You. It made her feel better. I respectfully submit that I don't agree with you at all. That is my right, of course, just as it is yours to expound on your beliefs here.<P>It seems you have been "here" for a while, I don't know how you do it. This place has so much pain in it, that it is hard to take. Evidently somehow it makes you feel better to be here. Good luck.<P>One question, why do you throw out the word "Anger" as if it is such a horrible emotion? God knows, there are many here who are justified to be angry at what their spouses have done to them. It is simply their reality now, a legacy given to them by their unthinking spouse.<P>What God has joined together, Let no Man/Woman tear asunder. Simple to me.<P>

Disgrace99d,<P>Yes, I come and go on this forum. I've contemplated leaving for good, but then I hear from people who have received hope and encouragement from my posts, and I remain. My H and I are nearing the 2 year mark very soon, and I guess that being a turning point, I've been here more lately than I'd like. But, if I'm helping anyone, even one single person to HEAL and REBUILD, then it's worth it.<P>You say: <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>God knows, there are many here who are justified to be angry at what their spouses have done to them.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>And I agree with you completely. Been there. But, all the same, there are also many here, like myself, who are justified and feel compelled to FORGIVE, REBUILD, and HEAL. Will you please give us the same liberty and respect to do so? I thank you in advance for your consideration.<P>Oh, by the way, either you or your W can feel free to email me at ibelynn@yahoo.com if you'd like to further discuss anything. Heck, you can even email me and berate me if it will make you feel better. I'd rather you do it there than on this forum where people are trying to remain positive and heal. By the way, as Sheba suggested, I ask that you please remove your inappropriate post from the Gratitude Journal thread. It doesn't belong there.<P>Email me.<P>------------------<BR>Love is meant to heal. Love is meant to renew. Love is meant to oust all fear. Love is meant to harmonize differences. Love is meant to bring us closer to God.

Hello D99 ....<P>How about you use that anger and respond to Carlton? You could have a field day .... <P>

Maya,<P>I know, I don't get it!!!??? Why is it that those of us who are remorseful, and are rebuilding are the ones who get bashed around here? And people like Carlton and many others are handled with kid gloves. What's up with that??? <P>------------------<BR>Love is meant to heal. Love is meant to renew. Love is meant to oust all fear. Love is meant to harmonize differences. Love is meant to bring us closer to God.

D99 - Please go away.

New Woman,<P>Just so you know,,Disgrace99 is my WIFE'S choice of a name for herself. Since she picked it, and legally at least, I am/was her husband..I use her name with an (H) at the end to signify myself..that's it. And by the way, what she has done is disgraceful,,she has destroyed more people's lives than you can imagine. The destruction she has left in her and her boss' wake, goes for over a thousand miles, with people of all ages crying themselves to sleep at night because of what she has done. This is NOT a pretty sight.<P>And to end this,,,,shouldn't it bother you, to throw out this "information" which is untrue about me, to all of these unknowing/innocent, hurt people here? Betrayers and destroyers of families..should not get into a mud-slinging contest..too much of it will stick. You've been around a while..should I go back in time and tell people here what you did when YOU were Having sex with another man??? Not your husband? That IS the truth isn't it..you have admitted it...but "It is in the past now isn't it?"...so the past is behind us..let's keep it there.<P>No reply is needed or expected.<P>Good Luck in your life,<BR>DG99(H)<P>[This message has been edited by Disgrace99d (edited September 16, 1999).]<p>[This message has been edited by Disgrace99d (edited September 17, 1999).]

(double)<BR><p>[This message has been edited by Doug (edited September 16, 1999).]

Oh, never mind.<P>You're not worth responding to.<BR><p>[This message has been edited by Doug (edited September 16, 1999).]

Doug,<P>I think that Disgrace99(H) is suffering some personal hell. I think that he cannot overcome what his wife did to him, and feel bad for his situation. But there comes a point in time that you can either live in the hell (that either your spouse, or anyone else for that matter created) or you can persevere and take steps to overcome it...however small those steps are. I see him as not even trying, which is sad. No one can say what type of hell he's going through, because even he hasn't stated what it fully entailed. I agree with you on your post, but that hurt has to be intense to be posting like he does. They're only doing themselves harm, by holding on to it forever.

double post..<p>[This message has been edited by Madelyn (edited September 17, 1999).]

Madelyn,<P>You're absolutely right!

Madelyn,<P>How presumptious of you to say, without knowing me, or my situation..that I am not trying. I would never believe for a second that I "know" what your Life is like. I have been attempting to live with my own personal hell for 9 months...you have no Right to even suggest what is going on inside me. I would never tell you what you are feeling or what you have or have not done. We are talking about a life altering, tragedy here. This is not a car wreck that one needs to put behind them... Think what you want, but don't tell me and others,that you know how I am..simply because you don't KNOW><P>DG99(H)<p>[This message has been edited by Disgrace99d (edited September 17, 1999).]

LOL, Doug... I did the same thing over on one of Carlton’s threads. It took six months, but D99 finally found a more pathetic loser than himself on this forum. I noticed D99 spoke of his W in the past tense... you think she finally got tired of the abuse and left him?<P>BTW, Doug... I lost your address. Send me some mail; I’ve got some “news” for you. You too, Maya... <BR>

Ooohhhh ...... news, huh????<P>What ever could it be?????? I've lost YOUR address!<P>Can't wait to hear!!!!<p>[This message has been edited by Maya (edited September 17, 1999).]

Got it, Maya... you can delete the address now if you want...