Lurking, I reread your post, and noticed you seem to think I'm using God to get what I want? Ergo, H to do what I want? Not so!
If it is Gods' will to change my H or his heart, he will, but it will be only when H ask him to. The change for me is to seek strength to handle any circumstances in a peaceful, loving way. Instead of constantly being upset. Whether that calls for divorce eventually or a healed marriage, it will only do me good to have my faith in place! My relationship with God is for me! And my prayers are for him to remove the anger, bitterness and turmoil I feel inside. If that has a positive effect on my H, and even my family, then so be it. And yes I do pray for my H to find his own peace!
I'm way too intelligent to believe God is at our command! God will do what he wills, not mine! But whatever his will, it's far better than what I can will for anyone. H has been out of his will, and I out as well. I am simply giving up my way to allow God to have his way. We do get in the way of God's will, you know!
More power to anyone here who has all the answers and can control the world from his own fingertips! I am not stupid by any means. I've sought the counseling for years, read over 250 books a year of all types for over 15 yrs, analyse with a very keen mind, and seek my own truths at times, but the truth is only smacking one in the face when it's from the word of God! I don't just live with my H. I have to live with myself as well, and any constructive change that benefits me, will no doubt have a positive effect on those around me. My immediate family is my concern.
Obviously, some here on MB think practicing faith in God is a cop out. Nothing could be further from the truth. Some say it's just for cripples, a crutch. Sadly, they are the misled ones. When ones life is turned upside down, they should look for answers to why. And in looking at all avenues in my life, I see a definite change took place for the worse when we fell away from our church and failed to stay close with God.
Can any WS say they were really close to God when they fell into their life style changes? I don't mean they weren't Christian, I mean close in their relationship with God and had accountability partners in their social group. Other Christians to talk to before they made their decisions to enter sin. A's and sinful behaviors of deceit, lies and adultery? I doubt any can, but if so, then they would have to admit they refused to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit which is in ever truly born again Christian. Conscience! My H is and has been a Christian for most of his life. And he does admit that all the time he knew he was wrong, but he chose to push it out of his mind. Christianity is not just a word or statement one can make and all is well with the world. It's a daily practice and commitment each day to stand up against the world. When we fail to do that, we are easily led astray.
Stastics: 30% of all Professing Christians commit adultery. Why? Because they fail and/or refuse to practice what they hear in the word of God. Some even refuse to read the word of God. Human failings. when that happens, there is only one place they can find redeeming strength and forgiveness.
Stastics: 70% of married men commmit adultery, and 40% of married women.
That doesn't even take in to account the fornication of the world!
You choose your way, and I'll choose mine, Because as Dr. Phil says, "How's it working for you"?
If all the books and all the counselors, and all the other methods fail, then I have to look at what is wrong. And what I found is I have not allowed the center of my life to be Christ!
"Handbook to Happiness" by Charles R. Solomon.
So for all here who are having a hard time getting
your life and marriage on track, then how's your method working? I see some have been here for at least a couple of years. How's it working for you?
I see a serious change already since praying two days ago! I mean serious. So I'll stick with what's working for me. And for H!
He is delighted, and the change already in his demeanor and behavior is drasticly wonderful!
Just a little kick in the A-- for satan. He's had his field day here long enough. So have a nice night and keep doing what you're doing if it helps you.
As for me,I don't want to waste any more years of my life trying to find answers. God has them, always has, and I am letting him guide.
I may have fallen, but I will be picked up! Happy with my decisions and the changes taking place in my home, marriage and inside.
God bless and just keep doing what seems to work for you! We're all different and so we don't all work the same way. If you can't respect my method then oh well. I decided not to give power to any human again. And that definitely includes anyone on MB that would disrespect my choices. There are many wonderful people here, and I do pray each one finds their happiness and peace. But like anywhere else in this society, there will be those who don't agree with anything or anyone. Can't please everyone or even some, so do what you need to do to make yourself happy.
Another favorite saying of mine is: "I do not want to fit into society, I just want to be able cope with it"! LouLou