why me (aka Success Story) - I'm truly glad my comments helped you through a bad time. I can say the same for yours now, and everyone here who's been so supportive. Many, many heartfelt thanks! There's nothing like sympathy, advice and observations coming from people who've been in the similar situations. Yeah, the problem with our counselor is that I'm the one who's had most of the tantrums. (Didn't throw things or hit, but did slam doors, yell, name-call, etc. No one else in my life has ever made me nearly as angry as my W has.) This is the issue we've worked on fairly successfully, in that I've learned not to express anger through explosive rage. But the fact is that my tantrums also tended to turn into her tantrums and our fights would become screaming contests. Anyway, this is how I got the crazy rep with our counselor and her therapist. And since my W had a violent stepfather who abused her (verbally but not physically or sexually) and her mother (physically too), we've focused on this whole issue and my W has gotten to play the role of victim. So I don't feel I have much credibility in this situation and my issues about her infidelity simply don't get validated. I could probably catch her and the OM in the act, and our m.c. would think her crazy H was making it up.<P>LS again - Yeah, in fact, I have tried things something like what you suggest. I can't tell you how many lunch hours I've taken cruising around looking for her car. A couple of times, I've even dropped in unexpectedly during the day. (She works at home and so has plenty of opportunity to do pretty much whatever she wants.) I did use the "Forgot my lunch," ploy. I don't feel I'm much good at this kind of detective work and, if I could afford it, I would hire a P.I. She and this OM have gotten very clever at concealing their affair and don't make any stupid mistakes, especially now, since I've become openly suspicious and she knows that I snoop. So she's managed to make me feel stupid as well as crazy!<P>--Wex
