Dear ALS:

I truly think your Ex is incapable of giving you any satisfactory answers to your questions. It is obvious that she is a runner and uses geography as a cure to her preceived problems. She probably cannot answer anything honestly to herself. She needs to mature first.

I think you would be better served letting your questions go for a good while and address them with her then (if possible I know). I just do not believe she can provide anything now that would be of use to you.

Heal my friend. Live your life and maybe help others here with your hard won life lessons.

All my best

Jack

how's als??

Howdy folks! It's been a while since I've put up a post or even lurked around here at MB, so I wanted to just stop in, give a hello, say a few words, give an update. I'm just, let's see...8 days shy of the 1-year D-Day anniversary. I'm sure that I'll acknowledge it when it happens, but I'm not giving the day as much power as I thought I might. Plus I have myself a nice scheduled vacation for the weekend after that, I guess sort of a present to myself for surviving all of this and making all the improvements.

That's something that really helps: Giving yourself presents, be it big or small, just doing something nice for yourself as much as you can -- Buying yourself something good to eat, or a new piece of electronic equipment, sitting down and playing a video game, or curling up with a good book, watching a good movie, listening to a new CD...Trying to take an hour or even a half an hour every day, stop obsessing over problems, stop working, and just relax and do something fun. It's even better when you don't plan it, just spring it on yourself. You deserve it.

So, yes, I'm divorced and the ordeal is over. No business at all left between W and I -- The past 12 months have been a rollercoaster but also sort of a preparation for the end of the marriage. Unlike some here, who have had false recoveries or doubt from their spouse, my relationship with W was over from the moment she walked out the door, and she never once gave me any indication it had a chance after that. So, this time, as we slowly grew apart, talked less, saw each other less, as her things slowly disappeared from the house, it was my opportunity to adjust. So, by the time the divorce actually went through a few weeks ago, it wasn't a big shock. Just that little final step to something that was in process, basically, for almost a year.

Since the divorce, I've been doing pretty well -- The secret I've found is just keeping myself so insanely busy with things that I don't have time to feel sorry for myself or be lonely or hurt my self-esteem. I realize that this will always be a part of me, no matter how many years go by, but I am so insanely thankful for the support I received from family, friends, and from the scores of folks here who don't even know me yet reached out and gave me so much time and support. But even a year later, there's still some lingering memories of everything, yet I find that the busier my schedule is, the more I can keep myself occupied, the more I enjoy myself AND the more successful my recovery is.

All that being said and done, here's what I still struggle with sometimes: I still miss her, because I've managed to let go of all the anger and the pain of the affair. It's gone, it's like a faded memory to me, and all that I remember now are the good things that we had. Yes, sure, her actions made me think differently of her, but inside we're the same people that fell in love years ago, in fact, I know I'm better than I ever was before. Not sure if I can say the same for her, but hopefully she has learned from all of this, just like I have. With the end of my marriage I have been able to let go of the hope of reconciliation or miracles, but when I'm alone with my thoughts, I still wonder what it would have been like if we'd taken all of this new knowledge and given it a try. Physically, she's still her, and I'm still me -- And we always both had the ability to make it together as a couple. We still do, really. All of us do. But the day comes where we here can look in the mirror and say to ourselves that yes, we went above and beyond, we fought the good fight, and that we've done everything we could and more. We have fulfilled our vows by doing everything in our power to stand by our marriages.

I'm sorry that I haven't been coming back here more often to help others...I lurk at times, but other times, coming here sort of brings back memories, opens old wounds, and it actually hurts to be here. It just makes me sad to see that so many others are going through this same pain, especially those like me who haven't been able to save their relationships, despite their best efforts. Those of you who are in a situation like mine, a sort of "exit affair", just know that you aren't doing anything wrong. By being here, it's proof you are a good person who values your spouse, and your marriage. You may have made mistakes, but we all have. It takes a strong person to admit they've made mistakes, and an even stronger person to do everything they can to correct them, and to move on. Being here makes YOU a better, stronger, smarter person, and that is going to happen whether your marriage is saved or not.

And, I'm sorry to say this, but most of the time it's not going to be you who decides whether the marriage survives. It's them. And most of the time, the person who comes to MB already knows they want to save the marriage. It's the person who refuses to come here, whether it be out of fear, or shame, or guilt, or just plain ambivalence...It's THEY who will decide whether your relationship will continue. Not you. Not too fair, but liberating in knowing that even if you do everything right, you might still not save your marriage. I didn't. But you're going to learn a lot about yourself and you are going to be okay. I remember looking at posts when I first came here thinking that I'd never be okay.

If there's any advice I can give when I see all of that going on, is to remember that the plans here are really more designed to help YOU get through this -- If your marriage/relationship is saved as a side effect of working on you, then that's great, but you should never implement the plans here imagining that as a direct result.

Nice to see you all. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

ALS

HI ALS:

Now unleash this hard won wisdom on the world.

It is now your time to prosper.

Be good to yourself and may God bless you and keep you.

ALL my best

Jack

ALS:

I'm not sure I've ever heard grati2de expressed in 2uite these words:

"but I am so insanely thankful for the support"

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

You done good, ALS!
-2long

Well, really, there's no words that can do justice the appreciation and gratitude I have for this place, and especially for each and every person that ever wrote a word to me here. For a while, this place was my life blood, it kept me going when things were at their darkest. It was a place to get instant feedback, to feel like I wasn't going crazy, to keep me from making more mistakes, to keep me focused and grounded.

And Jack and 2long, guys like you who just stuck with me through all of my craziness, who always stopped in and had a word to say even when things were obviously not looking up, I appreciate that. Can and do.

At this point I'm still not sure where my self-esteem register is at, I still have doubts about myself and my value in a relationship, but supportive posts from you do help boost the ego up a bit. I certainly want to think that I'm capable of doing much better than I have done in the past. I sometimes still cringe when I think back to all the missed opportunites with W. Yet still, I also realize that there's a strong possibility that even if I was perfect, it may not have been enough. Something W said to me on D-Day still rings in my mind sometimes: She told me that she wished she would have met me 5 years from then. In other words, she was too young, too immature, or just realized she wasn't ready to settle down. She had other plans, other things she wanted to do with her life and honestly, it may not have mattered if I was the greatest guy in the world, a committed relationship may be something she never wanted, or realized she didn't want then, and it may be something she'll never want again.

Oh, and going back a bit, I never answered some stuff from this thread last month:

I have definitely decided, after reading your posts, Cerri, Whippit, and Jack, that I really have nothing to gain right now from asking anything else of W. Jack, I think you said it best, I don't think W is in a position yet to answer anything honestly as she still can't be honest with herself. I do hope that perhaps one day, when she reaches that state of enlightenment, she might come forward to talk with me again. I realize that realistically that may never happen, but I hope that, somewhere down the road, if her feelings change on the way she handled this past year, she would feel comfortable to come forward to talk about that with me.

So yes, I have basically decided that that long conversation we had back in April will probably have been the last discussion of our relationship. Since D-Day, there were a few, always emotionally draining, always very tearful, especially for her, yet in the end, her decision remained steadfast. There were only so many of those we could have, without making any progess. Of course I felt like I was always just moments away from a breakthrough, yet that never did come.

Oh, and Cerri said:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I hope we made the right choice in having you file. It's iffy and not what I would usually reccomend, but all the pieces seemed to point that way.

Most divorces have some sort of messy complication like property or children that make it far more of a nightmare. I'm glad you were spared that.

It would be ok to pursue the questions if you want to. Plan B is to protect you, that's true, but I don't think you would have to cause yourself a whole lot of grief over an attempt at getting answers. But in the end, it's up to you and what you feel is safe for you.

Take some time to heal. You will make someone an incredibly wonderful husband some day. I hope your W sees what she missed and decides to rethink her choice, but if she doesn't the greatest loss is hers. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Cerri, I have no regrets on filing. It was the right thing to do and the right time to do it. It was time for me to let go of the rope and show her I was indeed willing to stop fighting if that's what she truly wanted. I do believe the outcome would have been the same would we have waited for her to file, and it would have probably taken longer and been much more confusing and frustrating for the both of us. So yes, it was, as divorces go, simple as they come.

And as I stated above, I guess I feel I don't have anything to gain out of answers from her now. It's not like seeing her or talking to her has been a satisfying experience for a long time. I did love those encounters we had in the few months after she moved out, where she came to visit, and I pretended that nothing was wrong, sat with her, talked about her day, gave her something to eat...Those times, even after D-Day, were my chance to show her that normalcy could come back. But once we got close to Plan B, I was at the point where seeing her and talking to her just hurt, because she closed herself off to me. She hid all of the wonderful parts of her away from me when she was around, and it was no longer a pleasant experience. So, if that same person is still there, attempting to get answers will just upset me more.

So yep, in short (hahah, in short he says, after another marathon message) I'm healing. I really don't know what tomorrow or next week will bring, I go day by day here, play things loosely, try and accomplish something, big or small, every day, try and do something fun or good for myself, every day, and, in short, remember that I am proud of myself and happy with myself, and I hope that another girl can see that side of me someday. I'd hate for all the love I have to offer to go to waste!

ALS

By the way, some appropriate lyrics I heard that I wanted to share, as well...Just sort of an inspiring thing for those of you that think that things are at the worst and can't get go of your resentment:


Out of the dark we, find the roses
Out of the hurt we, find out what we're made of
After the pain is, let go of
You can chisel away the hardness in your heart
Because you can't begin the day without the dark.


It's funny how I hear music so much differently since all of this happened. It's like lyrics take on whole new meanings. Music can be very therapeutic and even inspiring.

ALS

ALS,

A year has gone by already. Looking back it seems like it fley by but going through it it felt like a decade. I am so happy to see you happy. You have been through hell and finally come back. Good for you. I'm sure the future holds many great things for you. Take care.

Thanks, Mark. The year sure did go fast when you think about it, even though at times it felt like we had some of the longest, hardest days of our lives, didn't it?

I saw your post over in recovery and plan to post to you there as well, glad to hear you had another turn for the better.

To this day, I still wish that there could have been a better turnout. Sure, I'm adjusting and enjoying myself and my life, but the entire experience has been a big wakeup call to me, that, despite her issues as well as my issues, I was lucky to have been in a relationship with W. I still know that we could have been a great couple and had a wonderful like together once we learned to work through our issues.

But life's funny, and unpredictable, and you never know what's next. The best I can do is take the cards I'm dealt and play the best hand that I can with them. I have no idea what tomorrow might bring, and all I can do is be the best ALS I can be today.

Thanks Mark, it's great to hear from you always.

ALS

Well, I figured that with it being the 1 year D-Day anniversary for me today, it'd be wrong of me not to post something to this, the longest lasting of my threads here at MB.

Today definitely represents a milestone in more ways than one for me. I'm glad that it's today, and I'm glad I made it this far, because I'm realizing that this is the LAST of these milestones to hit. After this year, I don't plan to remember this day at all, hopefully in 2004, this becomes "just another day" in my life. Nothing special. From here on out, there's no unchartered territory. I've been through Christmas, my birthday, our anniversary, and so many other eventful days on my own already. I know I can do it. And I don't think any of those days will ever be as tough as they were the first time. So, in short, with this first anniversary of D-Day, the worst is over.

I'm doing well, as most of you here have noticed. And again last night, before I went to bed, I paused and just gave a moment of thanks to everyone who helped me through this past year. There are some great people in this world, who give of their time selflessly and expect nothing in return, who come to this board and help people just because they want to help. You are all amazing people. You know who you are. Pat yourselves on the back. I can't say thanks enough. I wish I could say more to show how much the support has been appreciated.

Keeping as busy as possible has become the key for me. And most of the time, that's enough. Of course, I'd be lying if I said that there were never those days where the house was quiet, and I was alone with my thoughts, and I thought back to the days when xW and I were together, and I missed that. I can tell you what changed quite a while ago, though: When I think back, I don't ever do it with anger anymore. I don't focus on the lies, the affair, the betrayal of it all. I just focus on the good stuff. And I smile, even though I'm sad because it's at those times, that I do miss her very much.

I remember years back when xW and I were long distance dating and it was taking its toll on the both of us. We had a pretty big disagreement and basically broke up right before the new year. I went to the party I'd planned for us both to attend alone, and had a miserable time. Came back from that, and found messages, calls from her, etc. She wanted to try again. But it still wasn't enough for me. Around 8 hours later, in the middle of the night, she showed up on the doorstep. She'd driven through the night to come here, just so I could see her face and hear her voice and understand how sincere she was. I saw that look in her eye and I knew that she meant it. And that's when our relationship really started to blossom and go in the direction we wanted.

Somewhere along the way, I lost sight of that. But yes, even though I'm divorced, there's that part of me that still wishes that I might see her face with that same look on the doorstep in the middle of the night again. That perhaps, perchance, she might come to that realization again: Despite our differences, our little arguments, and all the ups and downs we've faced, in the end, it's worth it.

Granted, I'm moving on with my life in every way possible and certainly no longer dwelling on xW or the marriage that we once had. I guess I just know now that I've been able to let go with love, and arrived at the point of peace that I never thought I could get to. I don't ever look back on her in anger, or wish her a hard life, or troubles, or anything like that.

I wish everyone reading this who's going through or been through this that sort of peace. The peace of knowing that you have done your part, done what you could, and at some point, you need to live your life and let your spouse do the same. I may always wish that xW would have chosen to put the past behind us and live a happy life together as I know we could have. But the key to it all was realizing that she is going to do what she wants, and what she believes is best for her, and what makes her the happiest, regardless of what I think that might be.

I'll close with this strange sort of analogy I came up with today while thinking about what I was going to post here:

xW has always been a BIG music fan. I've always been a BIG movie fan. I'm a fan to the point where I read up on movies, can't wait for theatrical and DVD releases, enjoy watching movies over and over, etc. That stuff brings me joy. xW, on the other hand, anticipated seeing a concert or listening to a new CD (over and over) like I would movies. Yet I never really stopped to make that comparison before. If I'd only realized that her love of music was akin to my love of movies, perhaps I'd have understood the side of her so much more.

As much as movies and music are similar, they're also different. And sometimes, as much as you love movies and want someone else to love them, too, they just like music more. And you can't change that about them. Nor do I expect that I'll ever love music more than I love movies.

The key to it all, I think, is finding that common ground. I could take an interest in music, learn to like it a little more, understand the passion for it that she had, by realizing that it's the same passion that I share for film.
Yet, even so, a "music person" might decide that being with another "music person", or even by themselves, makes them happier than being with a "movie person". And as wrong as that may sound to us, to them, it makes perfect sense. And so that's where I choose to let it stay.

I'm one year in, and I'm doing better all the time. You will, too.

ALS

It's been a while but I just stopped in to check in on ya. I don't know wheather to be sad or happy for you. It seems like you're moving on well and I seriously doubt that anyone, yourself included, will look back and say you didn't give it your all. Me thinks you'll be alright <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> . I hope this isn't the last we hear from you. I'm sure there are quite a few of us who would like an update on your life every now and then <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

best wishes

MTD

ALS,

You are a man among men, and an honor to your gender. You will go on, you'll be fine. And someday you'll make someone a very wonderful husband (once again). You are the kind of partner I would choose for my dearest friends.

Blessing to you friend on this final frontier of Days to Get Through.... If she never returns, you can rest assured that she will be far less happy and fulfilled than you in the years to come. Because you can go forward with a clear conscience and steel in your soul that only comes of taking the more difficult path.... that of commitment even when the going get tough.

Fellow MBer's.... raise your glass (or your can of diet whatever) to one of the real class acts....

To You, ALS....

C

Cheers indeed!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

MTD, 2long, and of course Cerri,

Thanks again for the well-wishes and the confidence!

I certainly didn't intend for the latest update to be a "sad" one. Of course, I didn't get what I wished, a renewed marriage. But that doesn't mean I can't be happy regardless of that. I think we all come here first and foremost because we want to save our relationships. But after a while, we also learn that we come here to help save ourselves as well. Whether it's to learn from past mistakes, regain confidence, or just to have someone to listen, coming to a place like this not only shows that we care about our loved ones, but that we care about ourselves, as well.

I sometimes wonder about those who are going through similar situations and have no support group such as this; no friends or family to turn to. Knowing how difficult and emotionally draining this experience has been for me, to think what it must be for them -- My goodness. So, thankfully, I found this place and it truly has been a key factor in making it to this point.

There's still work for me to do, and of course still lingering, passing feelings that come and go. But as I've said so many times before, it does, as a whole, get better all the time.

Cerri: Your comments are incredibly kind, and they mean a lot coming from someone of your knowledge and experience, and I appreciate that. My intiution has been fairly spot on for quite a while, and something tells me I haven't quite heard the last from xW -- Of course it also tells me not to expect reconciliation, but I think our paths will cross again in this life, for one reason or another. Perhaps I'll find a changed person on her side, just as there have been so many changes with me.

But indeed, I feel like I have learned a great deal from this experience, and know it will help me in the future, very, very much. If I can get lucky enough to find someone as special as xW was to put my love and trust in again, and who loves me in return as well, I know it will be amazing.

I'm off to Florida tomorrow for a little vacation, just taking a break for myself and having a little fun in the sun.

Thanks!

ALS

Hey folks, I'm back, and what a GREAT weekend. Yet again, I love, LOVE vacations, and Florida, like it was for me 6 months ago, proved to be a great break and escape from everything.

Spent a whole day Sunday at Epcot and Animal Kingdom with friends down there, and went to a HUGE all day Mardi-Gras like party called "Guavaween" in Ybor City (outside of Tampa) on Saturday. And boy, it was a blast.

I was hit on by a very cute girl in a bar there, she looked a lot younger than me, too. So that was nice. Sadly I had too much to drink to remember much of the night. But she started the conversation with me by tapping me on the shoulder and asking her if I'd race a "beer bong" with her. Okay, so I'm 30, but that doesn't mean I hafta act like it. Plus, I had a tough year. So to many cheers in the bar, she and I had a race, which I nearly lost (but was victorious), and then my friend tells me that she and I had a nice conversation and did some more shots, etc. Sure, drinking isn't meant as a solution to problems, nor would I ever recommend it as such, but I had a great night of fun being single again. It's always nice to get attention from someone of the opposite sex, a nice ego boost for one that's been bruised from the past year. Just wish I didn't drink so much that I could have been more charming or gotten her phone number. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Anyway, just wanted to say hi -- The weather in Florida was hot, sunny, beautiful...And back here in the North it's cold and rainy. Why do I live here again? Actually I know why -- I have family here, friends, and a good job. But I could see myself moving south someday. It's just a blast down there.

TTYL!

ALS

ALS:

"The weather in Florida was hot, sunny, beautiful...And back here in the North it's cold and rainy. Why do I live here again?"

Because they don't have beer bong races in the Great White North? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> (Okay, that's Canadia, and you're not Canadian... ...or is that Canada, and you're not Canadan? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ).

Besides, if you "date" like that the rest of your life, how will you ever hook up with someone? You'll never know 2 ask for a phone number! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Sorry for picking on you! (pick on me back, it'll make you feel better! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> )

Good 2 hear from you again, ALS,
-ol' 2long

Good for you ALS!! Glad you liked it here <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . Everyone says they want to move here, until they do. Then they can't wait to leave..LOL. Guavawene huh? I live about 5 mins from where you were partying. Alas, I couldn't go this year. So I ended up babysitting for my SIL's so they could go. Their 4 kids plus my own 3... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> . It is nice that it's always warm here, but being a yankee boy and all, it still just doesn't seem right to be wearing shorts and a tank top on Christmas day to me....not to mention that it never snows <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> . But I've got family here, so I'm kinda stuck. Sounds like you're doing great. Did you at least happen to get this young lady's name???? C'mon, enquiring minds want to know <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> .

MTD

edited cuz i can't spell <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

<small>[ October 29, 2003, 12:38 PM: Message edited by: madly_truly_deeply ]</small>

Yeah, that's a good point I guess - A lot of times we want to be where we're not, but when we get there, we realize where we were wasn't that bad after all. I'm a warm weather person though, I like warm over cold any day, though hurricanes don't thrill me too much. Plus, I do like my job, my house, and my family and friends which are nearby. With those ties all still here, I think I'll be here for more years, anyway. But it sure is nice having friends to visit in Florida, too.

As for the bar thing: Man, now you guys are making me feel WORSE! I did get her name, but I forget it, and most everything we talked about. It was so loud in the bar anyway, that we couldn't even hear each other too well. And by this time, I had been drinking for about 8 hours straight (all day long party!) so I was not in a good state to be charming. It's a real shame, wish I could go back and drink less. I'm not even sure if she liked me or not but the guy I was there with said it seemed that she did, but I can't remember that either. Apparently I talked to her quite a bit. There's a good alcohol lesson for you folks, drink too much and it does you no good!!!

MTD: I can't believe you are that close to Ybor and you missed that! Ybor City is like one of my most favorite places ever. I have such a blast there. I love bar hopping and meeting people. I already want to go back.

But anyway, I guess it was fun that I sort of got hit on in a bar by an attractive young girl, anyway. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> She lived in Florida (I remember that much) so it's not like it would have been a viable relationship for me anyway.

Thanks guys, it was fun from what I remember anyway! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

ALS

Hi everyone!

As you can see it's been almost 2 months since I posted to this thread, a new record probably since I first showed up at this place back in Fall 2002. I have been keeping so busy with friends, family, and just entertaining myself with a multitude of new hobbies...So busy that coming to MB is just something I don't have a lot of time left to do anymore.

In addition, moving away from MB for a while was a part of my recovery process, kind of like someone with an injured leg has to let go of the crutches or the cane at some point. After Plan B and my divorce, I decided it was time to drop the cane and walk on my own again. That's about the best comparison I can make. And when I come back now, it's not because I'm hurting and I need that crutch again, it's because I WANT to come back, but for different reasons. To learn, to help others, and to just show my thanks and appreciation to everyone here for all you did for me over the past 15 months. There are some absolutely amazing people on this forum. You are all life savers.

In case anyone cares for an update: Not much to report, actually. I have been so much time with friends and family in the past few months that I rarely have any time on my own at all. When I do have time on my own, I have taken up a bunch of new hobbies that keeps me busy. I am enjoying life and very happy for all the great things I have. I haven't heard from my xW in over 3 months now, since even before the Dv was final. Don't expect we'll ever communicate again in any way. But that's the way I'd rather it be, anyway. I gave it my all for a year and did everything I possibly could have. I'm fine with the way things are, and also realize this is what was meant for me.

Being single is a lot of fun. Sure, there are moments that I still long for companionship, or a warm body to snuggle up with on the couch or in the bed, and I have faith that one day I'll have that back in my life, better than I ever had it before. There's a girl out there for me somewhere, I know it! Maybe I even already know her. You just never know what life's got in store for you. I know it's going to all work out. Last year the holidays gave me a lot of sadness and despair, because I was still in the middle of the efforts to save my relationship and my marriage. Letting go and moving on has made this season so much better.

Anyway, what I really wanted to do was to just stop in and wish everyone here my best this holiday season. Have a safe a happy time this year, whether it be with friends, family, or even on your own. The holidays may be a sad time for many of you here who are having troubles in your marriage or relationship, but they are also a great time to be thankful for all the wonderful things you do have in your life.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year, and thanks again to everyone for all your help and support since I've been here. I'll never forget it.

ALS