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Joined: May 2001
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by julie_hula:
'So why do they do it? They are trying desperately (although almost always unconsciously) to get through to their marriage partner. Their rules of marriage won't allow for any direct confrontation, so they unconsciously set up a situation where all the unresolved hurts and pains are bound to come up.'
[/QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think this sums up the reason`s behind my H`s actions.
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Joined: Aug 2002
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JL-
Funny, but you and I are in the same thinking mode. I was pondering this thought just this morning.
What I started to wonder is whether or not this has anything to do with women that "give up" their identity for a relationship...
How many times do I see that the woman picks up the interests of the guy and forgets EVERYTHING that mattered to her. How long can someone keep burying their own needs beofre something like this happens.
I think that when women have children, they are so consumed with the needs of the family, that they neglect their own interests and needs. They are too consumed with the child's development to notice that a world still exists outside of the nursery.
Once the child starts to be less dependant on the mother, MOM has TIME on her hands and starts to miss the life she knew prior to the sacrifices that she made for the "relationship".
Most people are to immature to realize that they've done this to themselves. Once they see what they are missing out on, there is a resentment towards the partner. Somehow it is THEIR fault that the needs of MOM aren't met. Mom doesn't have the skills to talk it out so she starts to find someone who will listen to her...
You all know where this goes.
These are just the things I was thinking about in my own situation.....
Interesting topic.
One question I would throw out for others to further scrutinize this topic is: How many of these A's are with people in the 27 - 33 year span? I honestly believe that there is a time in this period when people experience a change in maturity. I'm wondering how much A's are used as a crutch while people make this transition....
<small>[ April 02, 2003, 12:16 PM: Message edited by: kily ]</small>
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