s-d: I find out quite regularly if/when she's spending time with him thru the grapevine. That's a given, she spends time with him regularly. I've been there and done the drivebys. That's not my concern. I wonder if she knows that my H and I spend time together. I wonder if she still, as she told me shortly after d-day, wants nothing more than for me and my H to get back together. I also wonder if he ever told her about my ultimatum (which he's heard from me several times - if he wants to be married to me, she goes, no question. If she's important enough to him that he wants to keep her around, then I'm outta here. I won't compete with her anymore.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I suspect he regularly hears, "you are such a good person and yet this happened to you....you don't deserve this.....how could she do this too you"....etc. Frankly, I think he enjoys hearing this, and once he begins to accept that you have changed and are willing to do anything possible to save your marriage, he can't play this role anymore, because he will have to start addressing some of the issues you both have regarding your M prior to the A. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I know he LOVES to hear that regularly. He seems to be taking forever to get to the "start addressing some of the issues in our M prior to the A" point. He thinks our marriage was fine except for how crappy a wife I was. I am always at fault, no matter what the argument with my H. He's Mr. Controlling and Always Right. He seems unable (or is it unwilling?) to see his own weaknesses and faults.
Jen
