3isacrowd,
My counselor told me that when a person has an affair, the BS and the OP become as two sides of one person.. it takes the two of them to meed the WS’s needs. Isn’t that what MB is saying too. That the WS’s gets some needs met by the BS and some met by the OP. One of the reasons it’s so hard for a WS to give up the affair is that then they give up half of what they want. It’s obviously a situation that is unfair to all but the WS.. who has at two people rushing around to win them over.
Wouldn’t we all like two people to meet our needs… years ago I saw the movie
"Dona Flor and Her Two Husbands (1978)" It’s a great and funny movie.. has always stuck with me.
A straight-laced young woman in 1940s Brazil experiences a sexual awakening when she marries an abusive but irresistible philanderer. When fast living leads her spouse to an early grave, the young widow marries his exact opposite -- a dull, super-reliable druggist who offers the security her first marriage lacked but none of the passion. Yearning for the old fireworks, the woman manages to conjure up the ghost of her deceased husband and finds that death has not diminished his seductive powers.What Dona Flor really wanted was a sexy, responsible man, but it took two men to give her what she wanted (even if one was a ghost). She had the best of both worlds.
Your husband does not want a bimbo or a superwoman. He wants both…. And will hang on until he is force to choose one way or the other. One WS said that they will hang on until either the BS or the OP yells ‘uncle’ and dumps them. That way the WS does not have to make what seems to them to be the impossible decision.
And of course the way he’s going about it is destructive and hurtful.
<small>[ June 05, 2003, 03:16 AM: Message edited by: Eleonora ]</small>
