Yes, Yes, Yes! Damn, I'm happy for you, mimi.
You deserve this.
And you have given a bunch of us Plan B'ers new hope. Thank you.

Mimi,

I tried to post to you last night, but it disappeared in cyberblackhole-land!

I am so delighted for you. Those of us still in Plan B are holding your success up as a beacon. If you can do it, by golly, so can we!

But selfishness aside, you have been through it all, and I am really excited for your success. Yes, they say the hard work is just starting, but what a major hurdle you and your H have crossed.

I like the things I am hearing him say. That's the part of the MB/WS script that we all look forward to hearing someday. He really does sound committed to your marriage.

Yay, Mimi! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

MIMI so very happy for you , Take this slow and don't read alot into everything .. JMVHO give him time to settle in , and my H told me the same thing that the withdrawl process was before he came home .

WELL congrats women , it gives hope to many !!!!!!

OW called my office today 5 times. Tried to get my direct number from my secretary on 3 occasions. Secretary said I'll put you through to her voicemail but OW didn't leave a message. Secretary said that she called back and demanded to know if I was at work, sounding B**&&chy. OW caught me finally with me not knowing it was her on the line. I was so shocked I could hardly talk because this woman who tried to destroy me addresses me as if we are friends. She says: "Hi "my name", this is N. How are you?" I'm shaking as I type this. I should have said "Wonderful". She goes on to say that she wants to get a message to my H to get some stuff from him. I say, "I don't have anything to talk to you about" and then I hang up. She then calls my secretary back immediately wanting my direct line. I haven't heard from her again. YUK!!! I hate her!!

Stay tuned .... she'd not done yet. Don't leave your car outside. Garage it. Do you know anyone who is a detective or investigator? You need to stay vigilent.

Pep

Good thing. H sounds angry that she is bothering me, calling to ask me "Am I alright?" and saying that I may have to call security.

She will have to be smart enough to go to public records to find out where I live. I do put my car in the garage. I recently got a new car, FWH's idea, so I don't think she knows what I drive. Hopefully, she can't round up enough money to get her own detective. One of her messages to my H was, "Too bad you didn't help me more financially when we were together". She's showing who she really is, isn't she?

Mimi,I am not very familiar with your situation but I never forgotten how much you had said to my WH Blah that he sounded so much like your WH, I read a couple of the responses in your thread, I think that OW sounds as insane as Blah's. She had called my work(she found the # from Blah's cell, I am very sure of it,she called my work the very first time Blah had his first official NC with the NC letter & changed all the contact #s emails.
That was Aug 02)She had called & emailed me many times but Blah never believed that, Blah trusted her over me for the longest time;once she called to scream at me why did I change my cell# and shut Blah out? I had moved out then & not wanting to be IN the game they were playing. OW freaked because Blah feared rejection & doing the opposite could bring Blah to me? She acted as if she were so understanding that she can kept sleeping with Blah and told Blah & me to patch things up and work on the M...now Blah should know
better..maybe he would never know???

OWs are thoughtless;deceitful & they are definitely fear of the TRUTH...look at Blah's OW's ugly truth..hang in there, take care of you.

Mimi,how ignorant <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I was( self-centered)
Congratulations...hope your recovery goes well, I am happy for you, I envy you though your WH "was" like Blah except Blah is still Blah...no remorse YET..

Much Aloha. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Wangi,
My H is still not completely out of the hot water. I realize that I still don't trust him. He was out of place a few hours ago. He has since called me and confirmed that he was at the gym, thinking that he told me that he was there. He's legit but it made me realize how anxious I still am about all of this.

OW did this to me by calling me today. I allowed her to have that power over me and it worked.

Later, you guys.

Mimi, stay strong...OK.
Once the trust is broken, it takes a long long time to regain as it is the most precious and most difficult.

"It is good to have an end to the journey towards;but it is the journey that matters,in the end" ~Ursula K. LeGuin

Much Aloha

Mimi, you can get a restraining order against her for harrassment and should stop her calls unless she wants to be arrested. My daughters RO told xh he couldn't call her at all!
She is, of course, trying to get your H to talk to her. Don't fall for it.
Best to you both, LouLou

Mimi,

If you are comfortable w/your HR dept. inform them. You may need to have your vehicle kept under survillence (no joke - take it from someone who knows).

Document what has happened. The fact that she knows your work# means she may feel empowered and she may try to control you. You did right by hanging up. Let some around you become your support group. These types of OWs can turn vicious on a dime. Always be careful. Not paranoid, just careful.

If your HR dept is experienced, they will know you are not trying to make trouble. Many HRs have dealt with these types of issues and can help guide you. They may even ask you to do a writeup or give a description of the OW. Don't tell your H all that you do with them, at least not yet. You don't know if he will inform the OW she is risking it by contacting you. In fact, the more she tries to contact you, the better your case will be. Involve the right personnel, have it documented and it won't be long before she crosses over that legal line and then, they (HR) can take action. Even the police can do so if they feel she is being a threat to your personal safety.
JMHO.

take care,
L.

Mimi, you said you have a new car and she doesn't know what you drive. It's not beyond this woman to stake out your work to see when you come and what you're driving.
If she does call again, I'd record her threats! Definitely get a restraining order. This is beyond your personal safety as well, as she's trying to get you fired!
The HR advice is also good, but this means airing the dirty laundry which is another painful thing for you do to.
What irks me is we BW's suffer the fall out long after the A is over.
Seems UH's get the fun, we get the hazardous clean up duty without hazardous pay!
GRRRRR Keep your head about you and don't give her an inch.
LouLou

All remains quiet on the OW front today.

H mailed a discount card back to her today. Said that it was a trigger, wanted it out of his possession. I suggested that he throw it away, that it would reinforce her calling me. He thought it would cause more "animosity" for him to keep it. Seemed to feel that it was special that she let him use it and he thinks that's what she was calling about. I don't buy it. She just wanted some continued contact and influence. He says that's the last piece.

He's been wanting to maintain contact with me all day long, calling me almost hourly. The talking has felt good. There's a lot of business around integrating his secret world into our world together now. For example, a goal today was for me to have access to his secret savings and checking accounts. His schedule is flexible so he has been emptying boxes and being available for repairs around the house. He calls to tell me his accomplishments. All of this feels good and right.

He seems real concerned about me being out and about. Wants me to be careful just like you guys are saying.

Will keep you posted.

Mimi,

Doing the "Happy Dance" along with all your other MB friends here! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

However, a word of caution from a major worry-wart: DO NOT think she cannot "find" your new house just because she doesn't have the address. All that is required is a visit on-line OR to your county Property Appraiser's office. All she needs is the Name of the owner (that's YOU!), and the information is public.

Best of luck. Please take care. We are all here for you both.

And God Bless,

Mimi, hope all is going well. Keep us updated! You know we live vicariously through you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

It's just me, you guys, don't get excited! Hopefully, she will come back soon and update us! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Mimi,

I have a lot going on, so I will catch up next week. But I had to say: WELCOME TO RECOVERY!

Now the bad news...the work is JUST beginning. Believe me. You will have a honeymoon period...and then it will be time to clean up the mess you two made over all of this, and all of your marriage. So, get ready. He has done the first part of what was needed. Now dont make the mistake of not doing the second.

And that is...get a plan of recovery together, as outlined here. And both of you agree to it. If me and Mrs. MM had done this, we wouldnt be struggling with many of the things we are right now (we had another Steve session today...more on Monday about that).

So, do not wait. Dont think you can pick it up later. Get it done now, in the honeymoon period. Get counseling with Steve for both of you. He will get the plan that is needed.

Now that I rained on your parade...I just wanted to say that I knew you could do it. Your husband will thank you one day for going so far for him. He will come to truly understand what he has in you...and he will never doubt why he came home.

In His arms.

H wants me to look at a movie with him so have to rush. That's good news.

Having issues with my son who is making every effort to get H to leave again.

Had my own session with Steve on Friday which was very helpful. Steve thinks we are on the right road and H is sincere.

OW found the house on Friday. Asked the yard man if it is H's house. Yard man did not give her the info. Have not heard from her again but at the least she will be doing drivebys.

Spent all day today with H. It has been great.

More later.

Mimi, time for RO against OW. Cover you, H and family for sure.
LouLou