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#1074003 07/03/03 02:50 PM
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,515
S
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S Offline
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,515
I am still frightened of opening up to my H in the way that you suggested - whenever I do that, I get it thrown back at me

"It's the one that can't be taken that never learns to give, and the one afraid of dying that never learns to live."
Bette Middler, The Rose.

Please work it in over time. you need it for you, even if you can't make it work for him.

On another subject,
We've been through this before, but here is a good page on how to talk to people, I know it helped me to read it, so I pass it on for your review. I still need a lot of practice with this. I suppose the first item and this are related anyway.

Best ways to speak your mind

Oops, I wasn't finished,and I pressed the post button.

I am pretty sure you will do well, and I can't say I WORRY about you as much but I still worry. I hope you don't mind. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I really hope by now you have some really happy, really good days.
( Think Tony the tiger ) GRRRRRREAT DAYS.
I hope you do.

SS

<small>[ July 03, 2003, 02:56 PM: Message edited by: still seeking ]</small>

#1074004 07/04/03 05:02 AM
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 935
L
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 935
Thanks ss -

So sorry I haven't been on much - but I really appreciate you taking the time, and good to hear from you! Thanks for the link - I have been thinking I need more work on this aspect - thinking of going over the Mars/Venus books again, so I appreciate the tip.

I'm meeting up with Lisa in London for lunch today! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

H's mother is not well - the steroids have helped a lot, but she has not recovered her mind much and last nights conversation with Dad indicated that H and his dad are going to have to face whether or not to move her to residential care in about 2 weeks time - she needs 2 nurses to lift her and cannot walk alone. So - a tough time emotionally for my H. While I could tell that up until a few days ago, he was quite emotionally involved, and still positive about her recovery, by the way he spoke to his dad last night, and his forthright focus on his work, he is, at present, feeling emotionally detached - trying to avoid the pain of this for the moment. And I think he may be starting to feel depressed about it. I recognize this swing between hope and depression, from the time when my brother was dying - you can't control your longing for their suffering to be eased, and your hope for a miracle and you swing between the two, or, more often, feel both at the same time. There must also come the realization, for him, that his mother is already mostly gone mentally, the mother he knew, the one who loved and supported him. I feel so much for my husband, and I hope that he doesn't get too depressed, that his faith will help him. I don't know how to help him - I listen when he wants to talk.

Well - gotta go - it's my last day at work and I have jobs to get done. Thanks again for the encouragement, ss - still plugging away here!

LIR

#1074005 07/04/03 11:22 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 987
L
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 987
Just got home and wasn't it lovely to meet <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Of course, I could have carried on chatting way into the afternoon and on and on.

So lovely to put a face to the name and the real LIR. It meant a lot to me as you have been one of my staunchest supporters in the past year.

Yes, SS and Jante tomorrow is 1 year anniversary of d-day - wouldn't you know doesn't time fly when you're having fun <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> OK very tongue in cheek there!!

Sorry, bit of a thread jack, but just wanted everyone to know how lucky I feel to have such a lovely friend - now a real one, not just a virtual one <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Lisa

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