Hey I did just get to kill a big bug for her.Don't know what it was but she thaked me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> That was a mistake on her part now he asking for reassurance again. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

She needs to converse with him from an uncomfortable and painful place. NOT YOUR HOME!

U mentioned how the OM need reassurance..... send him a blanket, better yet a pacifier......how about those 'baby bottle pop' candies!!?!?!?!? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

L.

I like that one orchid.

I drew a new boundry today. I used go pick her up at her last 30 min break and she ran me home so she would have car when she gets off at 1am.

2 weeks ago she complained that she eats on that break and doesn't want to take me home. So I arranged where I drop off car when I'm done working and my mother picks me up at WS work and takes me home.

This week mom is out of town so we were going to use the old arrangement. WS & OM getting a car friday maybe.

Today WS keyboard went out and I took her to buy new one. We were seen and it was reported to OM. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> So he calls and tells WS he is not comfortable with her running me home. Says living with me is enough.

WS wants me to make other arrangements or walk (2 miles) at night appease this guy. I reminded her that I had no friends to do this. I go to work and come home to my family. He can ride with us if he wants but I will not walk. All of this in a cool calm voice.

I then tell her that OM is going to hurt her bad. That she is doing all the things that she used to despise in other woman. I said "You have gave and gave for this guy, first you were going to move out when the kids left, then when the Dv was final, now you are moving out next week."

"You've hurt badly the man you loved for 16 yrs and you are about to hurt your children." She was real quiet like she was thinking so I continued. "First we couldn't live in the same house ,next you won't be able to rummage with me. Then you won't be able to see the kids as much as you want because of him. You've already almost stopped the picnics they enjoy because he isn't comfortable with it. Her response was "It's not the kids it's you." So I came right back with "He needs to get used to that because we are a package deal. You can't see a lot of the kids without seeing me, prob a lot of me. If he can't handle that then he should not have picked a married woman with kids."

I told her I would be there at 920 and wait for 10 mins. She said she won't run me home so I left her with "Then I won't come unless you call."

Ws says she will find a way home.

Did I do it right. No major LB that I see other than not just caving. I'm a little worried that she might take the car though. It is currently in her name. What do you guys think? I could get ahold of my brother and get him to pick me up and then call the #@^#%$&$ OM and tell him since it made him so uncomfortable that he was willing for her to walk home that I was able to make other arrangements.

I await your replies.

Just found out brother is out of town tonight. I could walk and leave her a note that I just could not leave her stranded out there at 1am. Would this help the M. I don't care about if its good for me or not need to save this M.

Shouldn't the person who is taking care of the kids have the car? For emergencies???

Make this your emphasis.

You are going to ruin their fun affair if you're not careful !!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I dropped off the car.2 miles is a long way in dress clothes. I shoulda changed first lol. Left her a note can't let her walk 2 miles at 1 am. Tried to call to tell her it's there. Hope she does see it.

<small>[ June 02, 2003, 07:24 PM: Message edited by: hurting12 ]</small>

IMHO, it is the family car, it stays with the family. If OM is soooo great, let him ride his carriage and pick her up.... .if he only can pick her up in a squash instead of a carriage.... oh well. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Don't be too accomodating ok? Dumb OM, send him a baby bottle pop!!! Does he wear pants or the pullups?

L.

Orchid,

I am soooo ready for her to move out. This is hard work <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> .It's got to be easier with her out of the house. If I'm wrong and she can stay with this guy long term then she has changed way beyond any woman I would want to be married to.

Don't get me wrong. I don't want the M we had b4 but I couldn't be M to the woman she is now.

I had just walked in the door (from the walk home)when WS calls to ask who had called OM a few min b4. Wasn't me. Maybe 1 of kids had hit redial or something, I don't know but I bet I'll be in trouble for calling him when she gets home.

At least I'll be ready for it ,so I won't lose my temper.

I think we could put our thinking caps on .... and collectivly come up with some really, really OBVIOUS act of kindness on YOUR part H-12. Before she moves out. Some parting gesture that will make OM go postal with jealousy and turn his insecurities into a virtual LB-making gergkin up his wazzoo!

Orchid is pretty crafty <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> .... any ideas O?

How about sending her flowers and balloons at work? "From your Husband and your children, with love"

How about an adorable teddy bear, "We'll miss your hugs and kisses Mommie."

..... IDEAS? This guy is toast.

REALLY H-12 ..... do something sweet, and surprise her ..... every day until she leaves. Put little love notes in her purse...... "Remember that fantastic time we spent in the ___ Hotel and the fun we had in the spa?"

NO LB-s .... just kill her with kindness and and fond memories.

Heck peper, I was thimking about moving to the couch for the week or 2 she is here and telling her she could tell OM she put me there. I like your idea better though. Might try both.

You can be sooooo sweet ..... and it will drive OM soooo crazy ..... and WW will get sooooo tired of her whiney-baby-leech after awhile.

Be as outrageous and zany and fun as you have ever been in your LIFE.

Be the opposite of a whiney-baby. Be happy and kind, and thoughtful. (Do this with a vengence and a conviction that if you can do this .... YOU DA' MAN!)

Start dancing and singing around the house.

Confuse the hell out of her. Be different. Spike your hair. Do the unexpected.

She will be interested, and may not show it.

Pep <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

(Shoot. We are recovered more than 7 years now. I look back fondly when I was inflicting this sexy, coy and love torture on my WS. Maybe I'll inflict some on him tonight!!! hehehe)

I can do all that except for the love torture. Anything like that is a LB now. But I can be happy and crazy for 2 weeks if I had just had my heart cut out. Which I guess I did huh <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Here's a quick list.

1. Screen saver picture of you and the kids with her having fun.

2. Collage picture of the family's last vacation outing or some other family fun event.

3. Leave a pair of your 15 year old's shorts in the car on the back seat.... u know how kids are!??!?! LOL!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

4. Your Speedos in the trunk.

5. A card from you to her in the glove box.

6. Rub some of your cologne where he might sit.

Ok that's it for now....

L.

WS informed me todat that she is filing for Dv next week and since we have agreed on everything I can either share a lawyer to file or I can get my own.

I might as well share one. It will save me $1000. I had already checked the prices.

It will delay her moving out because of the cost. I don't know if this is good or bad.

I went ahead and dropped the bomb on her. The custody papers must state that kids are not to meet OM until 6 mos after Dv final and are to never be left alone with him. She was mad but agreed after I reminded her that I can delay this and counterfile based on Adultry.

Also informed her that even though they now cannot afford to get a car this friday that I will not be bringing the car to her next week. I need to work. She can either run me home at 10pm or I can come get her when she gets off. If she wants the car for them to be together after work then those are her only choices.

WS informed me todat that she is filing for Dv next week and since we have agreed on everything I can either share a lawyer to file or I can get my own.
People have mentioned this before & I think it is ridiculous. A lawyer should NOT be allowed to represent both arties in a divorce becasue of conflict of interest.

I might as well share one. It will save me $1000. I had already checked the prices.
Share and you will probably get screwed ot of thousands more than that.

Besides, she only said she is going to file. Wait until she does. But don't hold your breath.

Chris.

She already set the appointment with the lawyer.
I get custody, ALL property except her clothes and stuffed animals, more CS than the state guidlines, her carrying health on kids, life on herself with me the benificiary, a signed agreement that kids can not meet OM for 1 year after Dv final and never to be left alone with him.

What more is there to get in a Dv. WS/OM just want her divorced and are willing to walk away from everything if I don't delay and drag it out. I really don't see a reason to drag it out. I would probably get most if not all of the above but it would be huge LB and huge expense.

<small>[ June 03, 2003, 04:08 PM: Message edited by: hurting12 ]</small>

Sounds okay (as it can be under the circumstances). I would still get it reviewed by another lawyer prior to signing it. You could keep it hush-hush and not mention it to wife.

Talk with a few and find one to work with. When the papers are done set up and appointment. Tell the wife & you need a day or two to take the papers home & review them, then take them to the other lawyer.

Don't drag it out but if they do not let you have a day or two to review them, then I would be very careful about signing.

Also, it doesn't matter if she has an appointment or not. I'm simply saying to not hold your breath waiting.
Lots of things have to happen before the actual filing and she has to be involved. Many emotions will get brought to the surface while this is happening.

That sounds reasonable. I will see 1 and have him/her go over the papers before I sign.

I highly suggest that you get your own attorney. This D will be less than amicable. You will need your own anyway if you opt to counter sue. It is in your best interest all the way around.

You stand to lose a lot more than $1000 if you use the same attorney.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> What more is there to get in a Dv? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If you have any investments, pensions from work, ira's, 401K's etc. make sure you protect those.

jmho
ba109

Editing to add: Any lawyer worth their bag of gold will tell her to go for half of everything...whether you're in agreement on the settlement or not.

<small>[ June 04, 2003, 07:37 AM: Message edited by: ba109 ]</small>